To make all the males in my house urinate outside

[Malhao]

All the males in my home seem incapable (unwilling?) to use the loo without making a bloody mess.

I know men face a challenges due to their specific plumbing, but you know what if you can't go without splattering urine all over the floor then CHANGE HOW YOU DO THINGS i.e. sit don't stand!!!!!!

I keep pointing out the issue, even make them clean up after themselves (which isn't great when I need to go and have to wait for them to sort it out or do it myself) so if there's no improvement then I've decided to make them urinate outside like the animals that they are?

Am I the asshole here?

(FWIW I also have a young child in the house which I DON'T want stepping in piss every time they go toilet)

@Agrudge

Men have been conditioned to feel less manly if they sit to pee.

Ah the fragile male ego 🙄

They must be very delicate little flowers if sitting down to wee in private upsets their sense of worth.

@Marvellousmadness

"I have so much trouble with my two boys, I don’t understand what age they stop weeing everywhere? They also never lift the seat or never clean it after themselves no matter how many times we go over it"

And thanks to mums like this, these boys will grow up to become one of those men that leave piss everywhere and think it is normal and that someone else will clean up after them

Probably been said already but shouldn't that read "Thanks to Dads like this"? Male plumbing should be explained and demonstrated by men surely ......

My DH is a sit down peer. Much better and he never splashes.

I insisted my husband sits for a ticket lol, not sure if he does, but he doesn't make a mess.

Early on in married life and after much complaining he called me into the toilet, and asked me to remove his dick from his boxers, hold and aim while he wees.... i/he wasn't very accurate, he took smug delight, which is when I introduced the sitting rule.

Tinkle, not tickle! Although could be fun

Thankfully all the males in my house are civilised and sit down to pee, like normal human beings. Which also means zero arguments regarding whether the toilet seat should be left up or down.

If you've got a garden, get an outside toilet built, preferably at the bottom of the garden.

We have 3 sons.
DP and they sit down. It's cleaner. Totally unnecessary to stand and pee!