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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To make all the males in my house urinate outside

133 replies

Malhao · 31/01/2022 22:36

All the males in my home seem incapable (unwilling?) to use the loo without making a bloody mess.

I know men face a challenges due to their specific plumbing, but you know what if you can't go without splattering urine all over the floor then CHANGE HOW YOU DO THINGS i.e. sit don't stand!!!!!!

I keep pointing out the issue, even make them clean up after themselves (which isn't great when I need to go and have to wait for them to sort it out or do it myself) so if there's no improvement then I've decided to make them urinate outside like the animals that they are?

Am I the asshole here?

(FWIW I also have a young child in the house which I DON'T want stepping in piss every time they go toilet)

OP posts:

allinadaystwerk · 01/02/2022 09:21

Have not even read past the title but I know yanbu... its rank.

MrsSkylerWhite · 01/02/2022 09:22

Not a problem I’ve ever had in our house.

Sounds horrible.

DillDanding · 01/02/2022 09:24

House rule here in my house full of men is sit down wees only. This means all if the toilets are pristine. Sadly, I can’t really force visitors to do this, so the downstairs loo is often subject to piss where it shouldn’t be.

LakieLady · 01/02/2022 09:27

@Bonnealle

No male I have ever lived with has done this and I have a lot of brothers and have always worked in a male dominated industry and have had mixed toilets for years

Same here.

Who are all these lazy and inconsiderate men?

BoodleBug51 · 01/02/2022 09:28

DH goes one better, he pisses all over the seat and floor and doesn't flush either. There is a constant smell of man pee in every bathroom.

The joy I experience in my daily life with him is immeasurable.

And apparently, I'm neurotic because all men do it

Auntieobem · 01/02/2022 09:31

DP sits to have a wee. His willy hasn't fallen off yet.

Deadringer · 01/02/2022 09:31

Tell them that you are going to dry the floor every day after each of them with their towel/pillowcase/favourite jacket, if they leave the floor dry it won't be a problem.

CocoPancakes · 01/02/2022 09:33

I do not understand how so many people are so disgusting in toilets. I worked in a building shared by other businesses and regularly walk into the toilets to find a huge pile of piss on the floor - not just a drop - a whole puddle. At times I find much worse. Fucking vile pigs.

ChampagneLassie · 01/02/2022 09:38

This is ridiculous, most boys and men can pee fine. I spent Christmas in DP family home, over 40 people, half male, ages ranging 7-55, and obviously the anonominity of others to take blame. I'm. Preggers so in and out loos, didn't see one mess once. My DP never makes a mess even peeing in dark in at night. They're just being very lazy.

feministqueen · 01/02/2022 09:42

This is not a man problem in general. My husband knows how to take a piss without it going on the floor. So sorry my 4 year old son.

Op you need to forget the warnings. Go absolutely ape shit about this. It's completely unacceptable and disgusting not to mention disrespectful.

Thirtytimesround · 01/02/2022 09:42

None of my guys wee on the floor. Not DH not my Dad not my son not my brother or cousins…

It isn’t a plumbing problem. It’s carelessness.

billy1966 · 01/02/2022 09:46

@Marvellousmadness, at the moment this is YOUR problem.

The key with issues like this is to make it THEIR problem.

Call them away from whatever they are doing and stand by as they clean.
Tell them the next time they are called away, their will be no tv, technology, etc.

Make it inconvenient for THEM.

When my kids would come in from school and throw things around I would first call them for their shoes to be put away, allow them go back upstairs THEN call them to put away their coat, allow them to go back upstairs, then call for the bag.

Drove them mad, but it worked.
First they came down and put everything away in one go and then to avoid being called they put their stuff away as tgey entered.
That included lunch boxes etc.

Make it their problem.
Stand over them until it is perfect.

Make yourself to be a complete PITA.

They will get it very quickly.

Telling them you will wipe the pee up with their top, and do it, and leave it on the floor.

Watch the reaction, there will be outrage, but you just smile and tell them they were warned.

I simply wouldn't put up with this.

Stop doing other things for them.
Stop driving them.
Stop buying foods they like.

Stop being tolerant.

Don't get upset, get even.

Withdrawing courtesies and kindnesses are what work when teens are not co operating.

My boys shower was a mess and I handed it over to their father to sort, with the promise that the shower head would be removed the next time he had to speak to them about it.
2 weeks on and it is in good shape.

Make it THEIR problem.😁

TheRemotePart · 01/02/2022 09:51

I posted on here a few weeks again about DH leaving the toilet seat up and apparently I was being unreasonable lol
You have my sympathies OP

Flipflopblowout · 01/02/2022 09:59

It will continue until you introduce repercussions.

blyn72 · 01/02/2022 10:02

You tell 'em, Malhao! I suggest they wee in next door's front garden ;).

OnTheBenchOfDoom · 01/02/2022 10:10

I am the only female in the house, all the males sit to pee.

I taught my sons how to pee standing up as school had those urinal troughs. At home they sit, out and about they stand but there are always urinals which are designed for standing at.

Mine were also taught to check the toilet after every use to make sure they left it the way they found it.

MadameHeisenberg · 01/02/2022 10:10

Not a problem in our house (DH + 2 little boys), but if it was, I’d be pissing on the seat just before they needed to sit on it, every time.

saleorbouy · 01/02/2022 10:25

"If you sprinkle while you tinkle be a sweetie wipe the seatie!"
is the motto in our house, in your case you might have to add "and the floor" on the end.

Surely is just good manners to leave the toilet as you'd wish to find it.

sanbeiji · 01/02/2022 10:30

WTF?
Not a male problem? An idiot problem.
None of the men in my house have ever made a mess.

This is common sense surely?
God almighty

sanbeiji · 01/02/2022 10:31

[quote billy1966]@Marvellousmadness, at the moment this is YOUR problem.

The key with issues like this is to make it THEIR problem.

Call them away from whatever they are doing and stand by as they clean.
Tell them the next time they are called away, their will be no tv, technology, etc.

Make it inconvenient for THEM.

Drove them mad, but it worked.
First they came down and put everything away in one go and then to avoid being called they put their stuff away as tgey entered.
That included lunch boxes etc.

Make it their problem.
Stand over them until it is perfect.

Make yourself to be a complete PITA.

They will get it very quickly.

Telling them you will wipe the pee up with their top, and do it, and leave it on the floor.

Watch the reaction, there will be outrage, but you just smile and tell them they were warned.

I simply wouldn't put up with this.

Stop doing other things for them.
Stop driving them.
Stop buying foods they like.

Stop being tolerant.

Don't get upset, get even.

Withdrawing courtesies and kindnesses are what work when teens are not co operating.

Make it THEIR problem.😁[/quote]
You’re a genius..I’m taking notes.

JuergenSchwarzwald · 01/02/2022 10:32

@Feelingoktoday

My teenage boys do not stand up to pee. I asked them this as they never leave the toilet seat up and I asked them why soother men do it? They said they prefer to sit down and also it’s cleaner! Clearly I failed to teach them how to stand up and wee as little boys.

My son doesn't stand up either. I think it's because he was very small as a kid and couldn't reach if he stood up.

You don't sound unreasonable OP. I don't have to clean up after my DH so it's perfectly possible for men to wee without making a mess.

Wnikat · 01/02/2022 10:37

There’s three males in my house, the youngest is 4, and none of them get wee on the floor.

OneTC · 01/02/2022 10:39

DH goes one better, he pisses all over the seat and floor and doesn't flush either. There is a constant smell of man pee in every bathroom.

This is just fucking disgusting

I am a bloke, I don't piss on the floor, I stand up to do it. If something goes wrong, which is always immediately apparent then you just stop and sit down, or move lower/closer or whatever

People ITT living with people that leave puddles wtf how. I could not tolerate this

takingmytimeonmyride · 01/02/2022 10:41

I've got 5 boys (adult/teens) and I can count on one hand how many times they've made a mess on the floor. They've always been made to clear it up themselves if they do, so that's probably why they don't. I refuse to clean up anyone else's piss after toddler age.

NYnewstart · 01/02/2022 10:43

How do women put up with this. It’s just complete lack of respect!

I have to say I never noticed any of my ds’s many friends do this, even when they were young! I’ve never ever had to clean up after a male visitor either.

The only time I ever remember this being an issue was when I was a student. We knew who it was and he was disliked because of it.

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