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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make all the males in my house urinate outside

133 replies

Malhao · 31/01/2022 22:36

All the males in my home seem incapable (unwilling?) to use the loo without making a bloody mess.

I know men face a challenges due to their specific plumbing, but you know what if you can't go without splattering urine all over the floor then CHANGE HOW YOU DO THINGS i.e. sit don't stand!!!!!!

I keep pointing out the issue, even make them clean up after themselves (which isn't great when I need to go and have to wait for them to sort it out or do it myself) so if there's no improvement then I've decided to make them urinate outside like the animals that they are?

Am I the asshole here?

(FWIW I also have a young child in the house which I DON'T want stepping in piss every time they go toilet)

OP posts:
FireMeetGasoline · 01/02/2022 00:01

The urethral meatus tends to stick intermittently (think being extremely close in proximity and sweating), as a man takes a piss, he thinks it is going one way and it can go in 3 directions, all projectile. If they are cleaning it up, I don't see what the problem is. Cleaning it up themselves and not having carpets in bathrooms will solve this issue.

Original poster
Malhao · 01/02/2022 05:39

Thanks for the replies and the laughs 🤣

Only one loo unfortunate (seriously considering moving because if this)

So so envious of those who don't have this problem lol

OP posts:
Moonmelodies · 01/02/2022 05:39

Let's not forget in rare cases some men don't like sitting to wee, because their parts hang in the water.

echt · 01/02/2022 06:24

When my DD had parties in her late teens/20s, to ease the pressure on the one downstairs bathroom, men were invite to pee on the lemon tree.

This being Australia, they all got it.🍋

TyrannosaurusRegina · 01/02/2022 06:43

@Moonmelodies

Let's not forget in rare cases some men don't like sitting to wee, because their parts hang in the water.
I think most men would be lucky to have this issue 😂 Certainly the ones I've known 😂

My ex used to leave piss on the floor; it wasn't that he was doing his pee on the floor, it was the bit at the end, maybe he didn't shake his willy off properly I'm not sure. It used to enrage me, especially when I had morning sickness and had to rush to the toilet and kneel down in front of it - I couldn't as I would be kneeling in piss. Absolutely vile.

Remmy123 · 01/02/2022 06:49

I live with 4 males - my husband has never made a mess.

My teen wipes if he does a little dribble as that is what I taught him to do, my younger son also cleans after himself.. I am now reaching my much younger son to do the same.

No excuse.. parents shouid be teaching little boys how to clean up after themselves from a young age.

longwayoff · 01/02/2022 07:12

'Next time I have to clean that floor because of you I will use your favourite shirt as av floorcloth'. Just the once. Sorted.

KeepYaHeadUp · 01/02/2022 07:18

@Malhao

All the males in my home seem incapable (unwilling?) to use the loo without making a bloody mess.

I know men face a challenges due to their specific plumbing, but you know what if you can't go without splattering urine all over the floor then CHANGE HOW YOU DO THINGS i.e. sit don't stand!!!!!!

I keep pointing out the issue, even make them clean up after themselves (which isn't great when I need to go and have to wait for them to sort it out or do it myself) so if there's no improvement then I've decided to make them urinate outside like the animals that they are?

Am I the asshole here?

(FWIW I also have a young child in the house which I DON'T want stepping in piss every time they go toilet)

YANBU.

If you can't bring yourself to sit down then bloody wipe up after yourself and clean the toilet once a week to clear up any missed splash-ups and drips down the side of the bowl

Thatsplentyjack · 01/02/2022 07:20

My eldest sits down. The other two piss a over the place like untrained dogs.

Haveyoubrushedyourteethtoday · 01/02/2022 07:21

@Cstring

I have resolved this in my house by going absolutely nuclear once and for all. It’s DS18 & DS16 (not DH), and I was so sick of the bathroom stinking of piss and disinfecting it twice a day. I made an absolutely massive deal of it and make them immediately stop what they were doing and clean it every single time. I also started to shout loudly that they had pissed all over the floor again and they needed to clean it RIGHT NOW when they were chatting to their mates to embarrass them into it. Im ashamed to say this is what it took but we’ve gone a couple of months with no puddles now, so it was worth it.
Perfectly reasonable response.
KeepYaHeadUp · 01/02/2022 07:21

@Remmy123

I live with 4 males - my husband has never made a mess.

My teen wipes if he does a little dribble as that is what I taught him to do, my younger son also cleans after himself.. I am now reaching my much younger son to do the same.

No excuse.. parents shouid be teaching little boys how to clean up after themselves from a young age.

6 year old DS is incapable of following any instructions. In one ear and out the other. His mind js permanently elsewhere. He has started not flushing poos because he's already thinking about what he's going to run off and do next. It's EXHAUSTING
lisaandalan · 01/02/2022 07:21

Make them all sit down. X

BigSigh2021 · 01/02/2022 07:28

No medical disadvantage for healthy males to sit to urinate. And sitting is actually better for men with lower urinary tract issues e.g. large prostate.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4106761/#:~:text=We%20conclude%20that%20the%20sitting,as%20cystitis%20and%20bladder%20stones.

picklemewalnuts · 01/02/2022 07:42

Revolutionary idea.....

Ping pong ball in the loo. They actually aim and entertain themselves watching it bounce about. It doesn't flush away, just sits there.

I haven't needed it since mine were about 5/6, but you know- yours seem to be slow learners!

AddingMustard · 01/02/2022 07:43

I DO ask them to clean it, I call them to clean it if there is wee on the floor but that’s the thing with having two boys they both blame the other and we only have one toilet upstairs, I didn’t say I clean it for them?

Either you make them both clean it up together or you assign them days. I'd imagine having to clean the others mess is what would make rather them clean their own. Or you have to stand outside the bathroom whenever one of them uses it and check when they've finished.

VelvetChairGirl · 01/02/2022 07:45

my son is 11 and he still pisses all over the seat and then claims it wasnt him, its only us two here.

Silvercatowner · 01/02/2022 07:48

Get a compost heap and get them to pee into that. Urine is the best activator.

CityMumma78 · 01/02/2022 07:51

If they haven’t mastered the art of going while standing up tell them to sit down!!

BearimyJeremy · 01/02/2022 07:53

I have two teenage boys and they've never pissed on the floor! My XH didn't either maybe he taught them how not to I never had to! Current partner doesn't either Confused

LuckySantangelo35 · 01/02/2022 08:58

I’d love to know the reasoning of those who voted YABU!

IncompleteSenten · 01/02/2022 09:02

There is absolutely o reason for this other than they simply don't give a fuck.

I live with my husband and our two sons

My husband has never, in 23 years left piss on or around the loo and my now adult sons haven't since they were kids.

There is nothing about having a penis that means you have to leave a bathroom with your piss all over the place

Marmelace · 01/02/2022 09:08

I really don't get why men do this other than sheer laziness. Three sons from 16 to 27 and non of them have ever done this, apart from when the were being toilet trained when little.

IncompleteSenten · 01/02/2022 09:09

@RedCandyApple

You make them responsible for cleaning it each and every time. I can only guess that blokes that piss everywhere know that some woman will come along and sort it out. Or they don’t care if the place stinks of piss and other people might be affected. Selfish and arrogant and filthy. So they need repetitive and persistent barracking and mocking

I DO ask them to clean it, I call them to clean it if there is wee on the floor but that’s the thing with having two boys they both blame the other and we only have one toilet upstairs, I didn’t say I clean it for them? The only time I ended up cleaning it is when I am bursting and sit down and get a surprise 🤢

I would tell them that any time you find piss on the floor, one of them will clean it up. You will alternate. Sometimes it might be their piss, sometimes their brother's. The only way to avoid that is for both of them to clean up after themselves.

Any refusal from either of them to go in and clean when it's their turn means both are sanctioned. No internet, or whatever will piss them off the most.

Lorw · 01/02/2022 09:15

Both my older SS’s do this, drives me nuts! My DH sits down to wee so defo not him, they regularly don’t flush and leave an absolute mess in there too, however it’s annoying trying to get them not to piss all over, I always get them to come clean it but doesn’t really work as their mum doesn’t teach them, just lets them piss on the floor, so they go home, come back and do it all over again. I’ve tried everything including the ping pong ball, doesn’t help I’ve got a toilet training toddler too so he keeps standing in it/sitting in it.

willingtolearn · 01/02/2022 09:20

As the only female in a household of men and nearly men, I can say it seems to have got better with time and the biggest change was the introduction of a girlfriend for one of them. It finally dawned on them that it was embarrassing when you/your brother left the toilet in a disgusting mess for your girlfriend to use.

They all complain bitterly at how revolting school/public toilets are and have slowly come to the understanding that there's a link between that and clearing up after yourself.