To make all the males in my house urinate outside

[Malhao]

All the males in my home seem incapable (unwilling?) to use the loo without making a bloody mess.

I know men face a challenges due to their specific plumbing, but you know what if you can't go without splattering urine all over the floor then CHANGE HOW YOU DO THINGS i.e. sit don't stand!!!!!!

I keep pointing out the issue, even make them clean up after themselves (which isn't great when I need to go and have to wait for them to sort it out or do it myself) so if there's no improvement then I've decided to make them urinate outside like the animals that they are?

Am I the asshole here?

(FWIW I also have a young child in the house which I DON'T want stepping in piss every time they go toilet)

OMG is this for real?!

My DH goes a bit mental if a bloke uses our loo and doesn’t wipe em the bowl before putting the seat down a flushing.

How can they miss the bowl?! This is grim.

My dds class share one toilet and the boys piss all over the seat and on the floor. My girls have to hold and use the girls toilets within the school building (their classroom is not within the main school). It makes me so cross they have to be uncomfortable because some of the boys piss everywhere.

My dh and adult ds don't piss on the floor, I'd be livid.

My not guilty secret is the boys loo! When I redid the utility room in the basement stacking the washing machine and dryer meant I could divide the room with a stud wall, adding a wc, lidded urinal and washbasin. Gamechanger!

In the olden days there were those awful pedestal mats, which (let’s face it) were there to catch the wee.

These days, with a tiled floor, OH sits down for any night wees, when he might be a bit “unreliable” and my boys, when living with us, were told that wee on the seat or floor would result in the loss of pocket money for both of them, since it would be hard to identify the culprit

Males can pee standing up when they're peeing outside or at a urinal. When they're using a loo with a seat, wherever that's located but definitely in their or anyone else's private home, they should sit. And check for, and clean up, and splashes if they're not bright enough to point their 'plumbing' downwards.

It's a major design fault but they have no excuse for being filthy sods and leaving their urine anywhere that someone else is expected to clean.

*ANY splashes

And this is why I am glad I have daughters!

You make them responsible for cleaning it each and every time. I can only guess that blokes that piss everywhere know that some woman will come along and sort it out. Or they don’t care if the place stinks of piss and other people might be affected. Selfish and arrogant and filthy. So they need repetitive and persistent barracking and mocking

I DO ask them to clean it, I call them to clean it if there is wee on the floor but that’s the thing with having two boys they both blame the other and we only have one toilet upstairs, I didn’t say I clean it for them? The only time I ended up cleaning it is when I am bursting and sit down and get a surprise 🤢

My mother kept an outside loo when everyone else was destroying theirs. All men use the outside loo as do any workmen doing jobs. same with my grandmothers - men were made to use outside lavatory. We live in the country by the way, not back to backs in a town. I am having an outside lav put in our garden where one used to be in my old house.

I think these women knew what was what. Men need to do ablutions outside.
Problem about teaching boys to sit down and wee is that is can cause back up in their bladders. My DH was made to do this by his mother from being a child and his urology consultant said it had directly caused his bladder problems and men should never sit down while peeing.
Get an outside loo made. Use Saniflo loo if cheaper.
It will be the best thing and you won't have to face the stink of urine all over the bathroom floor for the rest of your life.

Our sons were taught to lift the seat and aim by their father. We both taught them, whoever misses cleans it up straight away.

If they don't, I'd find it, and that meant they got to clean the lav AND the entire bathroom.

"I have so much trouble with my two boys, I don’t understand what age they stop weeing everywhere? They also never lift the seat or never clean it after themselves no matter how many times we go over it"

And thanks to mums like this, these boys will grow up to become one of those men that leave piss everywhere and think it is normal and that someone else will clean up after them

It’s not you that hasn’t taught them properly for gods sake - you don’t have a penis! If the adult male does this in the household, then, and I don’t say this lightly, and I have never said this before , but to utter the mumsnet classic - ltb!! That’s just disgusting. Do they clean the bathroom? Obviously not, but they should. I’d leave home, sleep at the office if I had to. There’s no excuse for this. Or stage a dirty protest, imagine if you left tampons, towels or blood lying on the floor?

No male I have ever lived with has done this and I have a lot of brothers and have always worked in a male dominated industry and have had mixed toilets for years

Eh? Dh and adult dss who are here at times don't do this?

That's so gross.

My Dad used to piddle on the floor, if mum didn't follow him straight in to clean it up, we would end up with wet feet. I thought this is what men did.
But, my husband and 2 grown sons, have never piddled on the floor, Thankfully.

@Marvellousmadness

"I have so much trouble with my two boys, I don’t understand what age they stop weeing everywhere? They also never lift the seat or never clean it after themselves no matter how many times we go over it"

And thanks to mums like this, these boys will grow up to become one of those men that leave piss everywhere and think it is normal and that someone else will clean up after them

Where have I said it’s ok gosh MN is weird?! I said we go over it all the time, I make them clean it yet they both deny its them?!

@Malhao

All the males in my home seem incapable (unwilling?) to use the loo without making a bloody mess.

I know men face a challenges due to their specific plumbing, but you know what if you can't go without splattering urine all over the floor then CHANGE HOW YOU DO THINGS i.e. sit don't stand!!!!!!

I keep pointing out the issue, even make them clean up after themselves (which isn't great when I need to go and have to wait for them to sort it out or do it myself) so if there's no improvement then I've decided to make them urinate outside like the animals that they are?

Am I the asshole here?

(FWIW I also have a young child in the house which I DON'T want stepping in piss every time they go toilet)

They don't face any challenges. After all, they've got instantly adjustable directionality in a way females don't.

Although tomcats do get their nads chopped when they start pissing over the house...

Luckily I never had the problem with ds (or dh!), but some of ds's friends were terrible. Once they range a certain age, every time I noticed they did it they where handed spray and a cloth and told to clean it up or go home and not come back until they could aim better.

I have a 12 yo and 22 yo (studying away from home).

I have told them I'm not at all interested in why the urine ends up on the floor or the seat (if they don't raise it), just that I don't want to stand or sit in it. They know how to clean it up.

It's disgusting and I will not let them leave home thinking it's someone else's job to clean up after them, or that it's just what men do.

Their father isn't here, and for all his very many faults, he didn't piss on the floor.

YANBU. Imagine if this post was about the ladies in the house, pissing nonchalantly on the floor and waiting for your DH to clean up.

When my son was learning to use the toilet standing up, I put a table tennis ball in the toilet and told him to aim at the ball . It worked and he has never made a mess in the toilet. Maybe the men in your house need to aim at a ball .

Oh and by “we go over it all the time” I mean I’ve told them a million times not to do it, I’ve told them to sit down, I’ve told them to lift the seat, I’ve told them to clean it after, yet I still find wee everywhere and having two boys they often blame the other, short of standing in there and holding it for them im not sure what else I can do?! “Mothers like me”

It all sounds gross, as a man I am not sure why men cant just piss into the bowl. I think its a foreskin thing tho, if you have a foreskin and do not retract it whilst urinating the spray goes everywhere. Same with shaking the penis at the end- you dont shake it randomly - you shake downwards to the bowl with the foreskin retracted still. I think its technique not laziness. BTW I cannot urinate sitting down as my penis gets in the way (not a boast) by being too close to the loo. Maybe this will help understand why. Its still gross tho.