I know what you mean, I’m conscious of it these days but complain anyway because if I don’t I’m just pandering to the stereotype. I’m old enough now to have decided I won’t be silenced.
I do think service staff are now put on a pedestal to the point where you can say anything, EVER, especially as a woman, because they aren’t paid magnificently. I see this in their attitude too - so many are terrible these days!
Before Christmas I ordered a Mario Kart Hot Wheels set from Smyths, with Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach etc in the set. Went to pick it up, was asked by the prickly assistant “ID?”. I looked in my pocket and pulled out what I thought was my bank card but it was DD’s Go Henry card. I laughed and said “Ah, that’s no good!” And he said in a REALLY arsey way “No love it isn’t, I obviously need one with your name on it”. Given I’d just witnessed him calling a man Sir, who he laughed and joked and chatted with, I didn’t appreciate being referred to as ‘love’.
Anyway went to get my bank card and went back in. Same bloke, acted like it was the biggest inconvenience ever to get this toy, and when he came back it was a set of the secondary characters of Mario Kart, not Mario & Luigi etc. I said I’d ordered one with the primary characters and he sighed and said “Well that’s what was on the shelf”. I went online and showed him the picture, and he took my phone, scrolled down to some TINY writing at the bottom that said “Packs May vary”. I said well the only picture on the website is the one of the pack I thought I’d ordered so could he understand how that’s fristatrujng and misleading. He said ‘Not really, when you order you need to read the full description. I asked if he could feed back that Smytbs need to make it clearer as to me that’s false advertising. He said no but “you can email customer services if you want love” 
. I got a refund, and you’d think it physically pained him to put it through.
It’s not the worst customer service ever but it’s the thinly veiled contempt and I don’t care what anyone says, its because I’m a woman. 99% of the time, IMO and IME, if people are rude to me by Default it’s because I’m a woman. I don’t care what they earn, or what kind of day they’ve had, if they can simper and smirk for ‘Sir’ they can have basic manners for me. And when it’s all the time, most days, it gets exhausting and I can only have patience for so long.