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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU To be fed up of smaller portions for women

194 replies

hennaoj · 29/01/2022 19:21

Fed up of constantly being given the smaller fish, steak, piece of cake in resturants than my husband, I'm taller than him! I'm not on a sodding diet and nor do I need to be on one. Today I was even given a smaller fish than my 13 year old son! Its bad enough that gluten free fish at chippys tend to be smaller anyway for whatever reason, so this ended up being miniscule than everyone elses as my 13 year old son is also a coeliac.

OP posts:
sploshsplash · 30/01/2022 09:10

Steak and fish is sold by weight.

MajorCarolDanvers · 30/01/2022 09:12

Gosh how strange. That's never happened to me.

SoupDragon · 30/01/2022 09:32

I've never had this happen to me. Neither have I ever had a meal brought to me where they've not checked who ordered which dish.

BlueFlavour · 30/01/2022 09:51

@WiddlinDiddlin

Oh the faux bafflement and ridiculous scenarios people are inventing here to bully the OP are astonishing.

It's pretty fucking simple... wait staff bring out food, hazard a guess at who to put which plate in front of.

If two people have ordered the same meal but one appears larger than the other (or insert some other difference) they make a judgement.

What all this shit about chefs knowing who ordered what, or people taking food off one plate and onto another is fuckery of the highest order.

Yes, I've had a waiter make a judgement based on my appearance as to which meal was mine on many occasions.

Im a fat woman, my sister is variously a normal sized, slim or even very slim woman.

Almost. Every. Single. Time. I will be given the larger meal, the one with chips rather than salad, the one with the massive burger rather than the healthier option.

On most occasions, they're wrong, my sister can eat like some sort of human dustbin and I have gastropareisis and often struggle to eat a bloody starter.

I really couldn't give a shit and we tell them they're wrong or just swap over if they've been too quick to put them down.

I can easily see them deciding things like the woman has the alcohol free drink, the wine rather than the beer, the smaller portion, the salad rather than the burger etc etc.

I can't get worked up about it, I wouldn't start a thread about it - they've gotta offer the plate to someone and they guess based on frequent experience.

But to pretend this is fictional purely because it has never happened to you is also fucking ridiculous.

Well said @WiddlinDiddlin
HogDogKetchup · 30/01/2022 09:51

@HairyShins

I call them "Penis portions". I've not really noticed it when we're out, apart from one place. However the in-laws are dreadful for it. The men get extra meat, an extra yorkshire pudding, extra pudding and unforgivably, extra roasties. They also get first pick of any seconds! My husband didn't believe me. I had to subtley prove that the women's portions were the same size as the children's!
My in laws do exactly the same. They send out woman’s and mens portions.
Roseyleaf · 30/01/2022 09:53

It's never happened to me. But back in the 1980s we used to go to a fish restaurant where the menu displayed "ladies portions" which were smaller, obviously cheaper too.

MasterBeth · 30/01/2022 09:56

It is entirely irrelevant that “men need more calories than women.” Restaurants are not the weight police. We can make our own decisions about what we shove in our gobs, thank you very much.

Chocomelon · 30/01/2022 09:58

You are making a problem where there isn't one.

The kitchen aims for uniform sizing and if there is one slightly smaller then someone has to have it.

There have probably been many times you got a slightly larger fish or steak but you didn't notice.

MasterBeth · 30/01/2022 09:59

@WiddlinDiddlin

Oh the faux bafflement and ridiculous scenarios people are inventing here to bully the OP are astonishing.

It's pretty fucking simple... wait staff bring out food, hazard a guess at who to put which plate in front of.

If two people have ordered the same meal but one appears larger than the other (or insert some other difference) they make a judgement.

What all this shit about chefs knowing who ordered what, or people taking food off one plate and onto another is fuckery of the highest order.

Yes, I've had a waiter make a judgement based on my appearance as to which meal was mine on many occasions.

Im a fat woman, my sister is variously a normal sized, slim or even very slim woman.

Almost. Every. Single. Time. I will be given the larger meal, the one with chips rather than salad, the one with the massive burger rather than the healthier option.

On most occasions, they're wrong, my sister can eat like some sort of human dustbin and I have gastropareisis and often struggle to eat a bloody starter.

I really couldn't give a shit and we tell them they're wrong or just swap over if they've been too quick to put them down.

I can easily see them deciding things like the woman has the alcohol free drink, the wine rather than the beer, the smaller portion, the salad rather than the burger etc etc.

I can't get worked up about it, I wouldn't start a thread about it - they've gotta offer the plate to someone and they guess based on frequent experience.

But to pretend this is fictional purely because it has never happened to you is also fucking ridiculous.

If you’re telling us it’s happened to you, it’s happened to you…

But in every single restaurant I’ve been to in my 50+ years on this planet, the waiting staff would ask “who ordered chips?” or “whose is the salad?” In that scenario.

Chocomelon · 30/01/2022 10:05

If you’re telling us it’s happened to you, it’s happened to you…

It might have happened that OP got the smaller portion but she's probably had the bigger portion before now too. Does that mean the other person should feel offended or judged or does it just mean portion sizes can't always be identical?!

Oldraver · 30/01/2022 10:29

I was at a carvery before Christmas ( very rare for me) and was behind a bloke and the meat server ( male) sliced off two very thick pieces of meat

I love meat so my eyes lit up, but got served a much smaller slice, I did ask for another cut if meat after that.

bruffin · 30/01/2022 10:31

OP is probably a bit like my sister.

When we were little and shared a slice of cake or chocolate my DSIS could spot a millimetre difference and complain she got the smaller piece.
As said above been with DH 35 years and never been served a smaller portion unless i have specifically ordered it

Chemenger · 30/01/2022 10:43

One solution would, of course, be to complain at the time this happens. Send back the small portion, point out that they are different.

Chocomelon · 30/01/2022 10:45

@bruffin

OP is probably a bit like my sister.

When we were little and shared a slice of cake or chocolate my DSIS could spot a millimetre difference and complain she got the smaller piece.
As said above been with DH 35 years and never been served a smaller portion unless i have specifically ordered it

Grin
HTH1 · 30/01/2022 11:02

I think it’s probably that the sizes happen to be a bit different and, when the waiter comes out with the food, s/he picks you for the smaller portion (assuming you have ordered the same thing as DH).

It’s probably happened to me once or twice ever and shouldn’t happen when people are paying the same amount.

HTH1 · 30/01/2022 11:03

@bruffin

OP is probably a bit like my sister.

When we were little and shared a slice of cake or chocolate my DSIS could spot a millimetre difference and complain she got the smaller piece.
As said above been with DH 35 years and never been served a smaller portion unless i have specifically ordered it

If my DC ever share anything, we use the time honoured method of one splits it and the other picks their piece.
HTH1 · 30/01/2022 11:11

@SirYawnsAlot

I'm surprised so many haven't experienced pen!s portions. Our local chip shop used to do this, fish lined up in the window of the heater and they always selected from the wall side but if a woman was ordering they would go down the line of fish and select a smaller one. As a woman, it was better value to buy a small fish as there wasn't much difference in size. Seen it in restaurants too, same meal, 1/4 chicken but woman given the smaller bird or cut. Generally it is an easy option for the restaurants as women are less likely to complain and don't want to appear greedy.
I would tell them which one I want if I suspected they were doing this (or if I couldn’t see them, say I wanted a larger piece). At Waitrose, the rotisserie chickens are one price but vary quite a lot in size so I always ask for a specific one.
LaQuern · 30/01/2022 11:17

This has never happened to me in a restaurant.

My in laws house, yes. But never a restaurant

2022success · 30/01/2022 11:27

I have never experienced this in a restaurant or cafe.

When I worked in a cafe it was of no interest to me whatsoever either. The person to my left got the plate in my left hand etc etc.

I can't say I have ever looked closely at other people's portion sizes either, despite being a pig with an enormous appetite.

XMIL used to do this (penis portions, plus the menz were fed first) but she was insane very old fashioned.

So, you are saying that waiting staff are doing this to you OP? I think either you are eating somewhere with very odd staff, or you are massively overthinking this.

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