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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU To be fed up of smaller portions for women

194 replies

hennaoj · 29/01/2022 19:21

Fed up of constantly being given the smaller fish, steak, piece of cake in resturants than my husband, I'm taller than him! I'm not on a sodding diet and nor do I need to be on one. Today I was even given a smaller fish than my 13 year old son! Its bad enough that gluten free fish at chippys tend to be smaller anyway for whatever reason, so this ended up being miniscule than everyone elses as my 13 year old son is also a coeliac.

OP posts:
RobotValkyrie · 29/01/2022 21:55

In a home type setting then yes, I think it's absolutely fair enough. Women, on average, need fewer calories than men. Even if a man and a woman are the same height and weight, unless the man is completely sedentary and the woman lifts weights, the man would need more calories.

True for calories, but women of childbearing age need twice as much iron than men (due to regular blood loss through menstruation), so they should get the bigger steak. Men can have extra chips.

Redglitter · 29/01/2022 21:56

Ive never experienced that. How would the chef know one was for a male & one was for a female 😂

If the waiters are putting customers genders on their orders you're going to some weird restaurants

WitchWithoutChips · 29/01/2022 21:57

I have never experienced this - but then I am very tall and even if I don't get out of bed I have a basal metabolism of 1600kcal.

NoSquirrels · 29/01/2022 22:00

@ReginaldMolehusband

If you're such a greedy bastard then swap plates.
This. (I might not have added the greedy bit but seriously, if it happens all the time to you talk to your family and ask for the larger portion!)
speakout · 29/01/2022 22:01

Weird post.
Has never happened to me.
You think waiters mark M/F on the orders given to the kitchen?
Really?

NoSquirrels · 29/01/2022 22:01

@Shadedog

I’m tiny and greedy and I’ve never noticed this. DH and I have our steaks cooked differently so it would be a bit weird if the wait staff switched them so DH would get more. It would be a bit weird for the chef to have an order for two steaks and pick out noticeably different sizes when the customer is being charged the same.
Also this.

Cultivate a taste for really rare steak. No issues getting the ‘wrong’ order then.

ohMaggieMaggieMay · 29/01/2022 22:03

@ditalini

Don't know where you're eating but I've never worked in the kitchen where we were told the sex of the people ordering.

My mum though, it's taken me 30 years to train her out of penis portions.

Penis portions Grin
FangsForTheMemory · 29/01/2022 22:04

Back in the day, when I was a student, we complained because the blokes always got served much bigger portions - for the same money - in our canteen. So this was 40 years ago. You'd hope things had changed but apparently not always.

FangsForTheMemory · 29/01/2022 22:05

I'd like to explain that it was a school dinners sort of arrangement where you queued up and were served with what you chose.

mightbealittlebitmad · 29/01/2022 22:05

I would be very surprised by this. As someone who has worked in hospitality for years and still does and finished a shift tonight, I don't give any thought to how big the portion sizes are. Everything we cook is as good as identical so if I have 2 identical meals I take them out and give the one that is annoying me the most to the person who pipes up first (unless it's a table of 2 in which case the person on my left gets my left hand and the person on my right my right hand)

Today I handed out a glass of wine and a pint of bitter to a man and a woman and specifically asked who was whose because making assumptions just makes you look like a twat because it's wrong. They laughed when I asked like it was obvious because as far as they were concerned the rose was for the woman and the bitter for the man but hospitality has proved that things aren't always stereotypical.

In short....the issue you have can't happen that often, the people taking the food out don't care which portion is bigger, we just want the plates out of our hands as quickly as possible.

amusedbush · 29/01/2022 22:07

This has never happened to me. In fact, the only person I’ve ever met in real life who refers to a ‘ladies portion’ is my 88 year old granny.

I’m not sure I believe that you were given a visibly smaller steak in a restaurant because it’s cut by weight. Unless you ordered the 8oz and your husband ordered the 12oz, they will both be the same size.

diamondpony80 · 29/01/2022 22:08

Never had that happen and I’ve eaten in many different restaurants over the years. I thought all meals were standard size and not based on whether the diner was male or female?

I would give DH and DS bigger portions at home though as they tend to eat more and exercise more than I do. Both are into weight lifting at the gym so would eat meat portions nearly twice the size of mine.

Kite22 · 29/01/2022 22:10

Like most, I assumed from the title you were talking about meals at family members housing or something, as this is incredibly unlikely to be happening in restaurants as portions are standard sizes.

I don't know where you are eating (other than this one chip shop).

DdraigGoch · 29/01/2022 22:15

@WaningMoon

The thing is OP, as a general rule men do need more calories than women. Nothing to do with having more physical jobs etc etc , it is basic biology- men are built differently to women, they have denser bones and bigger muscles- which means they need more calories. You being tall might mean you need more calories than a smaller woman, but it won’t be anywhere near the intake required for a man.
Slightly more, yes. Not to the extent that some posters' mothers-in-law differentiate though, where you'd think he was a horse and she a mouse. Somewhere around 25% more is the starting point.

Never seen restaurants do this though.

NessieMcNessface · 29/01/2022 22:15

Disagreeing with most, I support OP’s comment. If I order the same thing as my partner, he is always given the larger portion. Yesterday when we both ordered identical steaks, the waitress looked at both plates then gave him the larger of the two. This doesn’t bother me because I don’t eat as much as he does anyway; we laugh about it between ourselves. It applies pretty much to everything when we order identical courses. The only time I admit to feeling a bit miffed is when it’s sticky toffee pudding!!

maddiemookins16mum · 29/01/2022 22:18

Nope, never happened here either.

limomo82 · 29/01/2022 22:21

Not in restaurants but my MIL always serves larger portions to the men.

freecuthbert · 29/01/2022 22:23

My partner is way taller than me, by more than a foot, and this has literally never happened to us! They're standardised portions in restaurants. I think you've coincidentally ended up with an ever so slightly smaller piece of meat or whatever and now you think it's because you're a woman. I bet you didn't notice the times when your portion was slightly bigger. 🙄
If you're ordering a steak and it's 8oz it's really meant to be that. If there is any difference it really must be very negligible.

Aprilx · 29/01/2022 22:23

I have never had that happen to me. Although we have noticed that waiters alway top up my husbands wine glass higher than mine.

2bazookas · 29/01/2022 22:25

It's never happened to me. Which country do you live in?

beautifullymad · 29/01/2022 22:26

This always used to be the opposite years ago at our local curry house.

I like big fiery flavours and red meat. So I'd order a lamb vindaloo or something similar.

My then husband would order something mild and with chicken.

Portions always, always came out with the fiery dish being bigger and the mild dish being normal sized.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 29/01/2022 22:41

Never happened to me either though if there's a choice of S/M/L then I'll choose a smaller portion than DH so his plate would be filled more by our choice

My DS used to work P/T in fast food
When he was busy trying to help out with the choices , the various deals , someone swearing at him because he wouldn't give them a £10 meal for £5 , people who spoke no or little English and he has to help with Menu pictures ,someone knocking food on the floor and a stabbing..............yes I'm sure he thought "Oh , woman, , she's getting the arse end bit of chicken"
Cos he's got time for that hasn;t he ? Hmm

Kitkat151 · 29/01/2022 22:43

Nope....never happened to me....I’m 57....so been eating out a good few years....I’m much smaller than my partner And have never been given a smaller portion if we have had the same dish

Kitkat151 · 29/01/2022 22:45

@limomo82

Not in restaurants but my MIL always serves larger portions to the men.
I serve larger portions to my partner and sons than I do to my Mum or DD or myself.....because we are all much smaller and eat far less🤷
DiddyHeck · 29/01/2022 22:46

I've literally never experienced this in any restaurant ever. As PPs have said, the portions are fairly standard.