Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

To ask for my money back and end this friendship

139 replies

KeeG8181 · 29/01/2022 16:36

Hi everyone.

Last January I lent a "friend" a substantial amount of money that I had saved up. They claimed to be going through financial abuse at the time and needed help getting away. Going through that myself I wanted to help and my head was all over the place. She repaid £100, whilst being "financially abused" she has managed to live off Domino's pizza and afford nice clothes and shoes on a weekly basis. But has never once offered to pay back what she owes me.

This "friend" left in November, she has paid to have her new home professionally decorated, alongside sky TV, endless amounts of clothes and shoes, piercings and tattoos, £1000 laptops and phones. I haven't been offered a penny back.

She messaged me today informing me that once she gets her student loan in September she's buying a car. I haven't replied. I'm so hurt that she couldn't even be bothered to pay back even a fiver a week but I'm worried I've left it too late.

I don't wanna continue a one sided friendship anyway but I haven't got much confidence myself and I'm not very forthcoming so I have no idea how to ask for it back.

OP posts:

user1471538283 · 29/01/2022 22:32

I would chase this down. Do not do a repayment plan. You will only get a little and then it will stop again.

Keep nagging at her. Your friendship was over when she stopped paying you back.

Original poster

KeeG8181 · 30/01/2022 13:54

I asked yesterday, still no reply but read my message. There's a shock! Posted a few things on Facebook about "domestic violence awareness"

OP posts:

Money4icecream · 30/01/2022 14:53

I had a similar experience and although I did eventually get the money back I could never forgive her and we weren't friends again. I suspect that this will be the same for you. I would therefore do all you can to get it back and then never speak to her again.

MissNothing1991 · 30/01/2022 16:30

@KeeG8181

I asked yesterday, still no reply but read my message. There's a shock! Posted a few things on Facebook about "domestic violence awareness"

Absolutely appalling. Using a past experience to try and guilt you which is emotional abuse for goodness sake. Anyone who has suffered abuse should know better

Honeyroar · 30/01/2022 17:51

@KeeG8181

I asked yesterday, still no reply but read my message. There's a shock! Posted a few things on Facebook about "domestic violence awareness"

Then you need to ask again - and say that if you don’t get a reply and payment schedule in the next few days you’ll be forced to take legal action. And mean it!

CoraPirbright · 30/01/2022 18:24

Do you have any ballsy mutual friends who could weigh in on your behalf? They could say something like “look mate, KeeG was kind enough to lend you a load of cash when you were really struggling. You seem to be really back on your feet now so isn’t it about time you started paying her back? It was really good of her and nobody can just throw that kind of money around”.

But I fear you may never see a penny again unless you actually take court action . Well done for having a paper trail!

Dashel · 30/01/2022 18:36

@KeeG8181

I asked yesterday, still no reply but read my message. There's a shock! Posted a few things on Facebook about "domestic violence awareness"

I would struggle not to post something about financial abuse or abusing friendship considering how spendy she is.

Don’t let her guilt you into dropping this.

Yuckypretty · 30/01/2022 21:33

Well done for asking her for it

Lucycantdance · 30/01/2022 21:44

I cannot stand people like this. She is now using past experiences to guilt you. Disgusting.

Original poster

KeeG8181 · 30/01/2022 23:54

Well this is the thing! I'm currently in a refuge after fleeing DV.

She wasn't abused, she had opportunities to leave and all the agencies were behind her, she referred to his previous victims as liars and jealous that she was the one who was hurt most.
She has also gone to a podcast speaking about her experience with him despite being "scared of him"

So no I don't think she's truly a victim, compared to the some of the women in here I think me and her were very very lucky.

This is my follow up message

"I appreciate what has happened to you is bad, I have just left abuse too. But I really do need that money back. If no payment schedule or arrangement is set up I'll have to take legal action which I really don't want to do"

I don't even know how to take legal action so I'm gonna have to do my research!

OP posts:

flyingdream · 31/01/2022 00:10

Play it cleve to get ur money back. Say you're struggling and need the money. Could she lend you some. Do this gradually until u get it back.

VikingLundyMalin · 31/01/2022 06:10

@flyingdream

Play it cleve to get ur money back. Say you're struggling and need the money. Could she lend you some. Do this gradually until u get it back.

Why on earth would the OP ask to borrow money she is owed.

If you borrow something the expectation is you pay it back.

Silvershroud · 31/01/2022 07:13

You can take out a Small Courts Claim quite simply for £25 yourself. You don't need a solicitor. It is for claims less than £5k. But with all court actions, the court does not give you money, they order the defendent to pay you. There isn't anything you can do if they don't, really. You might be better off persuading them to repay you at least something without a court case. IANAL.

MagentaRocks · 01/02/2022 07:58

Any response @KeeG8181

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6