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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Things that mostly only happen on mumsnet

936 replies

Imyourvenus · 29/01/2022 15:10

Heres mine;

You must love MIL even if she is a bitch toad from hell

You must never say anything negative about anyone on benefits

Admitting to having no friends

Every 3rd person is NC with their family

Having a nanny

I’m sure I have more

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 30/01/2022 10:10

@slashlover

A typo is the height of comedy and must result in the actual post being ignored in favour of unfunny replies, the spitting out of tea/waking of dogs and occasionally, namechanges.
Especially if it's an auto correct that couldn't actually even happen. Don't forget waking the baby. Wink
Zazdar · 30/01/2022 10:11

There is no such thing or word as expresso.

Yes,, there is. It’s a Portuguese newspaper.

marchingtotheend2021 · 30/01/2022 10:11

@KurtWilde

Leaving your washing out overnight is trampy. Something about it getting darked on and spiders rubbing their willies on it.
I wondered when someone was going to comment this Grinhahaha
Wattingerno4 · 30/01/2022 10:13

Ridiculously high marriage/husband standards that if not lived up to means you must divorce the b’tard immediately and gain some much needed self respect.

Norgie · 30/01/2022 10:18

You must know each of your neighbours phone numbers, particularly of those who only moved into the neighbouring house ten minutes ago so you can contact them with your list of rules and regulations.

Norgie · 30/01/2022 10:19

You must also spend your time popping notes through your neighbours doors. Bonus points if you wrote it in the form of a poem.

Sparklingbrook · 30/01/2022 10:22

Yes lots of notes through doors as an effective means of communication. On no account ring the door bell and actually speak to anyone.
Although if they are also a Mumsnetter they won't answer the door anyway unless you have made an appointment to ring the doorbell 6 weeks prior.

Cut off to ring anyone is 9pm if you have to ever ring anyone at all, because that is also rude unless you have texted beforehand to warn of the call.

Crayfishforyou · 30/01/2022 10:28

Got a pest neighbour who won’t leave you alone? They are probably lonely and you should invite them in for a cup of tea.

Got a crying baby? Get a sling

Don’t celebrate your birthdays. Ever.

TatianaBis · 30/01/2022 10:29

@PriamFarrl

Expresso is simply the English version of the Italian espresso, that’s all.

No it isn’t. There is no such thing or word as expresso. It’s a mispronunciation and misspelling.

Truly only on MN would someone be that twatty.

Foreign unfamiliar words get adapted into other languages like Firenze/Florence, Milano/Milan, Napoli/Naples etc.

Espresso simply means fast in English - as in express train.

In French espresso is un café express, un express, or un café noir. Express is an English not a French word.

Expresso has become a colloquial anglicisation in the U.K. much like un express. Neither are the original Italian nor a word in the respective language.

Sparklingbrook · 30/01/2022 10:32

Espresso simply means fast in English

'Instant' is really fast. Grin What we need is an instant espresso perhaps?

TimBoothseyes · 30/01/2022 10:33

You must de-rail a thread by arguing over coffee. Grin

TatianaBis · 30/01/2022 10:34

@Sparklingbrook

Espresso simply means fast in English

'Instant' is really fast. Grin What we need is an instant espresso perhaps?

That would def sell.
Norgie · 30/01/2022 10:34

If anyone mentions coffee of any variety, it will end up in a huge debate / argument and derail the original thread.

Sparklingbrook · 30/01/2022 10:35

@TimBoothseyes

You must de-rail a thread by arguing over coffee. Grin
It's my fault for saying instant coffee was seen as a crime on MN. Which has been proved here TBF. But I hadn't envisaged the coffee lecture.
Glowtastic · 30/01/2022 10:35

That you must be able to save at least 30% of your salary and have at least £80k saved up by the time you're 30.

That anything other than "Russell Group" implies deep failure in life

You've failed as a parent if you don't work your arse off and live like church mice anyway in order to send your children to private school (but still have the savings)

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 30/01/2022 10:35

The one that stands out to me, and drives me crazy, is the insistence on using twee acronyms, particularly the D for Dear which is used regardless of circumstance.

DH (Dear Husband) is cheating on me.

DDog just bit my ankle.

Hmm
ChickenStripper · 30/01/2022 10:36

Expressing a desire to get married means you are beaten down by the patriarchal misognystic hierarchy. Just live a man free life and go to Meet Up groups. What is wrong with you woman? Why can't you be happy on your own?

Sparklingbrook · 30/01/2022 10:37

@Norgie

If anyone mentions coffee of any variety, it will end up in a huge debate / argument and derail the original thread.
Quick! Someone mention that cat poo in the garden is actually fox poo because cats bury their poo and get this thread back on track.

Or that you should absolutely recline your seat on a plane and to hell with anyone behind you.

DrSbaitso · 30/01/2022 10:38

@ChickenStripper

Expressing a desire to get married means you are beaten down by the patriarchal misognystic hierarchy. Just live a man free life and go to Meet Up groups. What is wrong with you woman? Why can't you be happy on your own?
Really? One thing MN seems to be very clued up on is the importance of marriage for women who are making career cutbacks because of kids.
DrSbaitso · 30/01/2022 10:39

Oh yeah, nobody reclines their plane seat on MN.

I do and so do about 90% of people on the overnight flights I've been on.

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 30/01/2022 10:41

@Sux2Buthen

On MN you should be borderline grateful if a cat shits all over your garden
The solution to this is a retired greyhound. Fact!
Norgie · 30/01/2022 10:42

@Sparklingbrook 😂 Surely you know by now that mnetters fly first class where reclining seats aren't an issue.....or they don't fly at all for environmental reasons, instead they take their children on tours of museums and stately homes.

Grida · 30/01/2022 10:45

Teachers are always perfect on MN. Other teachers are particularly guilty of perpetuating that myth. In real life they have your child confused with the other small blonde one, they aren’t quite sure what dyspraxia is and they haven’t moved her up a reading level because the other teacher has that box of books in their classroom.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 30/01/2022 10:46

@ChickenStripper

Expressing a desire to get married means you are beaten down by the patriarchal misognystic hierarchy. Just live a man free life and go to Meet Up groups. What is wrong with you woman? Why can't you be happy on your own?
Not seen that. I'm not married and I am just looked down on as poor helpless waif
Sparklingbrook · 30/01/2022 10:47

[quote Norgie]@Sparklingbrook 😂 Surely you know by now that mnetters fly first class where reclining seats aren't an issue.....or they don't fly at all for environmental reasons, instead they take their children on tours of museums and stately homes.[/quote]
Oh actually. Yes, you're right. Scratch the reclining seats thing.

How about eating food in the supermarket before it's paid for? Scanning the empties? Or is that not a thing now because of Covid?

We used to give baby DS a french stick to gnaw on while we did the shopping.It''s all home delivery now.