Things that mostly only happen on mumsnet

[Imyourvenus]

Heres mine;

You must love MIL even if she is a bitch toad from hell

You must never say anything negative about anyone on benefits

Admitting to having no friends

Every 3rd person is NC with their family

Having a nanny

I’m sure I have more

@lololololollll

Sticking the word "fucking" into a reply to sound cool/hard/not sure why. It's even on this thread 😂

Some people just use the word a fair bit. Not to 'sound' anything. 🤷‍♀️

LTB and go for a spa day with your cleaner?

@MrsTophamHat
I have seen several threads where posters list 3 or 4 weekday meals (for everyone) they allegedly get after they and DH and 2 hungry teens have had roast chicken.

@MrsTophamHat

People citing the Mumsnet chicken, even though in all my years I've never seen anyone claim that a roast chicken lasts longer than a meal and maybe some left for sandwiches.

I've definitely seen people claiming that a chicken lasts for 3 family meals. Said people have clearly never met our family

Serving anyone instant coffee is a terrible crime.

I'm a bloke and I was a bit taken back at some of the vitriol on here. There is plenty of valid criticism that can be laid at the feet of many men but reading constant blanket 'why do men do x' type of posts with dozens of other posters wading in behind in support is a bit depressing

Yes - I'm a mum with sons, great husband, great brothers and great male friends - and I'm in no way unusual in having that. .
THIS
And not forgetting outstanding neighbours and work colleagues.

Advice given is the opposite of common sense.
It's like people get a kick out of being mean to a stranger online.
Unless it comes to man bashing

Maybe it's this chicken.

@Sparklingbrook

Serving anyone instant coffee is a terrible crime.

My parents would do this and I'm so embarrassed on their behalf. They'd have the jar out, the lid off and then they'd say "unless you'd prefer real coffee, we find it too strong ourselves" and of course few guests have the nerve to say "um yes I would prefer real coffee".

They take this as PROOF that most people secretly prefer instant coffee 🤣

I might be mixing with the wrong crowd @UserBot9to5, but instant coffee is a fairly normal thing to have in my world. That said, I always have a tea when visiting as I prefer it and it's easier to get right. Oh and I have a Velvetiser at home which i also assume is wrong.

I dont know what velvetiser is. I'll google.

Ah! Looks good.

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER

I have some bacon that’s still in date but the packet was opened two days ago - is it safe to eat?

No, definitely not, I'm shocked that you even need to ask. Are you hard of thinking?

Throw it out, and throw out everything else in the fridge as well. Then throw out the fridge. Then become vegan.

@UserBot9to5

Ah! Looks good.

I love it but I'm sure that some on MN will say I should have got a Nespresso machine or bean to cup whatever. But it was a gift so...

Well it's out of stock on amazon so other people want them!

@MrsTimRiggins

Thinking ‘a tinkly laugh’ makes you look anything other than fucking unhinged

😆😆😆😆😆😆

Just had to look up 'pfb'. New one on me and a bit harsh if you are the subsequent child.

@Sparklingbrook

Serving anyone instant coffee is a terrible crime.

It's not a crime but it's bloody awful.

@StoneofDestiny

Just had to look up 'pfb'. New one on me and a bit harsh if you are the subsequent child.

It's used more in relation to the parent. As in 'you are being a bit PFB about that'. When a stranger dared to look briefly into the pram or something and the poster is fuming.

It's not a crime but it's bloody awful

On MN apparently so!

People who are angry enough to swear but feel the need to censor themselves. AIBU to be fcking pssed off? Either type the words properly or just say you're annoyed.

You are so sick you can barely walk, your temperature is over 39 degrees, you don't have a cold, you don't have Covid, your leg has red welts, you are almost passing out, you are alone and don't have a car....but don't call an ambulance. It's a waste of resources.
This is definitely something I despair over, these phrases being thrown about more likely than not stop people who need to go to a hospital or be in an ambulance from doing so.

It's not a crime but it's bloody awful.

I don't know anyone who doesn't drink instant at home.

Any sort of doing someone a favour is cheeky fuckery. And anyone who occassionally forgets it's bring a pound and wear something stripey for x charity day is a complete loser and parental failure who hasn't learnt to adult properly.

In RL sometimes my friends (school mums!) do me a favour regarding childcare or pick ups. Other times I do them a favour. I don't consider them CF, hopefully they don't think I'm one! And there is a class whatsapp in which people ask questions about all sorts. Sometimes I ask a question, sometimes I know the answer to a question. People who don't like it have probably muted it or left the group.

@Sparklingbrook

It's not a crime but it's bloody awful

On MN apparently so!

It is LOL. Making good coffee is cheap - get a caffetiera which you can get for 30 pounds and will last forever, ground coffee and you have a fab expresso in 5 mins.