Posted a lot over Christmas .
DM, 57, has severe mental health issues . She either needs care at home or more likely, inpatient bed or rehab . Can’t be left alone really as risk too high. She’s not for sectioning but GP says she could do a voluntary admit to hospital .
Mum’s family don’t want that (well, some do), but they can’t support her at home for various reasons.
I’ve been her carer years and years. I’m now studying 150 miles away . If I drop out now that’s uni gone, I’ll never ever get this chance again, all assessments I’ve done would be invalid within a couple of years and I’d not get funding again . Uni said I’d be stupid to pull out now as I’m halfway through third year (4 year total) and getting distinction right through, so obviously something I’m good at … plus I need a career for my future, I need to be able to financially support myself.
I’ve been asked if I can go home and study from a distance . I panicked abs said yes .
I’m now thinking - I can’t .
I have to pay rent on my flat, it’s a 2 year contract that’s very tightly done and if I don’t pay my guarantor will have to (to the tune of £10k) .
Studying from home means I’ve zero access to meeting classmates, lecturers, uni facilities such as library . I’ve 10000 words of assignments due by end April, at least two of which will need me to access the library for resources but ideally all of them .
I’ll be in uni at least 6-8 hours a day, 4 hours a day of which are zoom classes, won’t be able to help mum at all as I’ll be busy .
I’ve also got face to face classes and presentations and clinical skills assessments - family said I could nip down to uni the night before them, and come home straight after - 400 miles of travel in 18 hours at least once a week .
I won’t be able to access GP services as I’m registered near my halls - can’t temporarily register with mum’s surgery as it would be for an indefinite period. I’m waiting on a 2ww for scans for me and possibly a minor op, that I’d obviously have to cancel, and have two non urgent hospital appts too.
Uni, and my mum’s GP have both said several times they think this is a crazy option, Mum’s GP was on phone half an hour pleasing with me to stay out and said she’s trying to get mum an inpatient bed asap .
I’m lying in bed tossing and turning and realising this is a terrible idea, but I don’t know how to say no . I don’t know what to do. I’m travelling up in 12 hours but how do I explain that I can literally only stay a week? Any longer and I’ll have to give in and give up uni . I don’t know what to do .