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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Petty pils, didn't wait for us, then moaned about fils old tux

559 replies

Hisanimalgrace · 28/01/2022 21:20

Going to an event, we were massively delayed in traffic getting to pils .They couldn't wait for us.
So when we arrived they were leaving and mil clocked our friend in pils old tux which dh had leant him, an old 80s thing.??

Dh served us done drinks by which point fil was calling dh saying if we didn't leave immediately we wouldn't get a space in the car park! When we got to the car park it was half empty.
Mil then questioned dh about the tux friend wearing as she felt it was actually fils old one and that was for dh not to give away.

OP posts:
alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 29/01/2022 04:54

Is everyone drunk tonight or something? Every thread I've read so far is total nonsense. I would be starting to think I was the drunk one but its only lunchtime here. Grin

RantyAunty · 29/01/2022 05:01

Truly bizarre.

Had you both been drinking before you got there?
It didn't occur to either of you that drinking and driving isn't ok?
The friend wearing the FIL tux, not on.

It sounds like you and your DH have some serious alcohol issues. I hope there aren't DC involved in the mess.

PupInAPram · 29/01/2022 05:08

@Hisanimalgrace I feel for your poor parents tbh.

CJsGoldfish · 29/01/2022 05:13

You were late, they'd had pre drinks and you missed out. They wanted to get to the event. Perfectly reasonable to hurry you along.
Took a looooong time to make any sense out of your ridiculous post but I think I got there. The only real question is why you're making such a huge deal out of it 🤷‍♀️

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/01/2022 05:32

I think op has passed out.. I mean gone to bed.

WhenTheyComeForYou · 29/01/2022 05:36

YABU

KatherineJaneway · 29/01/2022 06:00

Unfortunately your son and wife and friends are late.

So instead of saying...relax..have a drink. Hopefully we'll see you down there..you actually panic and desperately try and get them out? Why???

Because apart from my son and his wife , I don't want a bunch of randoms roaming my house freely while I am not there?

TurkeyRoastvBubbleandSqueek · 29/01/2022 06:03

Good morning OP. I hope you are feeling ok this morning? I read all your posts on your thread before deciding whether you were being unreasonable or not, and I am glad I did. YABVVVU OP.

If you could be bothered to do so, and if you think anyone would be bothered to read it (I would, I like to be fair), then I suggest that you start a new thread, this time explaining that you live in the same very large town as your in laws. That you, and some friends you were giving a lift to, were all going to an event (let's call it the Golf Club's New Year Eve's Party, for simplicity), and that your PiL were also going to it (after all FiL is the President of the Golf Club), but as it was going to be very crowded there (do you live in a Country where Covid isn't an issue OP or are you in The Cabinet, and the Golf Club was just a ruse?) you knew that you wouldn't be likely to be able to spend much time with your PiL at the party, or after the fireworks (carriages at 1.00am), so you arranged to meet up at their home before you all left for the NYE Party (in at least 2 cars, but may have been more as we don't know how many people were meeting at the pre NYE Party for - alcoholic - drinks).

Anyway, what with your MiL being the First Lady of the Golf Club, MiL did not want to be late to the Party, even though there was no 'absolute time' to be there (except for midnight of course, seeing as it was a NYE Party).

However, you had not left your home early as you hadn't anticipated that your very large town might be quite busy with traffic early evening on NYE, so when the traffic was going literally at a snails pace, you got more and more stresed that you were running late for the pre party drinks at your PIL (after all, as far as you are concerned, that is the best bit of the evening - free doubles of your favourite
tipple!).

Also one of the friends you were giving a lift to hadn't realised that it was a Black Tie event, and was just in his favourite charcoal grey, pin striped, 3 piece lounge suit (which must have been quite old, as who wears a waist coat these days?). So anyway, you reassured him that you could both just pop up to PiL's bedroom, as you were sure that FiL would have a Tux in there that friend could borrow, and as PiL were both a bit stressed at how late it was getting, what with them being the expected VIPs at the Golf Clubs NYE Party, you wouldn't bother asking them first as you knew it would be fine (is now the right time to recall the hastily sneaked 2 large Babychams that you had knocked back before leaving home?). Very unfairly when you went downstairs again with 'lounge suited friend' now done up in a rather silly looking 1980's Tux, that was also a bit too long on him, and definitely a little too tight on him, your MiL took one look at him, went a bit pale and slack jawed (luckily she was able to quickly recover her composure, if not her paleness), then came over to you and said in a too loud whisper

"isn't that DH's 1980 Tux that I have been trying to get him to throw out/give to a charity shop since 1992, I always thought that he looked like a waiter at The Savoy in it, but he loves it?"

(MiL doesn't know why, but your DH once told you after you DTD, that his DF had taken his first love out on their 1st date in it - DH's DF had been slightly worse for wear, and rather maudlin when he had confessed that to your DH OP hadn't he, and later swore your DH to secrecy, luckily that doesn't include one's SO does it?)

I can't help you with the next bit OP, as I am still a little confused about that myself. Did FiL (and embarrassed about anyone questioning the 1980's Tux) MiL, then immediately leave for the NYE Party saying to you to help yourselves to any drinks that were left because she was being polite, but really wanted you to get your behinds out of there and then rang you from The Golf Club to (very fairly) hurry you up, by saying the car park was nearly full (sorry if I am getting some details wrong OP, I am getting quite tired myself now), or did they pettily stay at home to ruin your fun stop you getting your free drinks that you had been so looking forward to, and needed because of all the stress of the long journey across town, that wasn't your fault, because who knew there would be traffic on NYE?

AllTheColoursOfGerberas · 29/01/2022 06:06

Say what?

Shoxfordian · 29/01/2022 06:10

It sounds like you were late so there wasn’t time to hang around having a drink at your pils

Are you usually this disorganised?

GrandmasCat · 29/01/2022 06:10

@Hisanimalgrace

My post is about being Petty. Trying to oust us from the house, not leaving us in peace. Panicking about us being in their house for moments and trying to get us out then moaning about an old cast off sported by a friend she called "dreadful "
Well, it’s their house and you were already late for an event. Why would they be happy to leave you drinking at their house with a friend they don’t even know??? And that’s even before we consider you were late and meant to be somewhere else already.

The only petty thing is the comment about the ancient tuxedo but other than that YABU.

Player001 · 29/01/2022 06:11

@DropYourSword

Are you the same OP who's PIL didn't want to share a bottle of champagne with you after you invited yourself around to a celebration they we're having no with other friends?
Oh yeah... I forgot all about that one. It does seem like OP could be one in the same.

Giving DH the side eye to get some of the fancy champers.

AngryApple · 29/01/2022 06:15

Is your friend Noseybonk? Is this how Noseybonk began?

itsnotenoughisit · 29/01/2022 06:19

@TurkeyRoastvBubbleandSqueek

Good morning OP. I hope you are feeling ok this morning? I read all your posts on your thread before deciding whether you were being unreasonable or not, and I am glad I did. YABVVVU OP.

If you could be bothered to do so, and if you think anyone would be bothered to read it (I would, I like to be fair), then I suggest that you start a new thread, this time explaining that you live in the same very large town as your in laws. That you, and some friends you were giving a lift to, were all going to an event (let's call it the Golf Club's New Year Eve's Party, for simplicity), and that your PiL were also going to it (after all FiL is the President of the Golf Club), but as it was going to be very crowded there (do you live in a Country where Covid isn't an issue OP or are you in The Cabinet, and the Golf Club was just a ruse?) you knew that you wouldn't be likely to be able to spend much time with your PiL at the party, or after the fireworks (carriages at 1.00am), so you arranged to meet up at their home before you all left for the NYE Party (in at least 2 cars, but may have been more as we don't know how many people were meeting at the pre NYE Party for - alcoholic - drinks).

Anyway, what with your MiL being the First Lady of the Golf Club, MiL did not want to be late to the Party, even though there was no 'absolute time' to be there (except for midnight of course, seeing as it was a NYE Party).

However, you had not left your home early as you hadn't anticipated that your very large town might be quite busy with traffic early evening on NYE, so when the traffic was going literally at a snails pace, you got more and more stresed that you were running late for the pre party drinks at your PIL (after all, as far as you are concerned, that is the best bit of the evening - free doubles of your favourite
tipple!).

Also one of the friends you were giving a lift to hadn't realised that it was a Black Tie event, and was just in his favourite charcoal grey, pin striped, 3 piece lounge suit (which must have been quite old, as who wears a waist coat these days?). So anyway, you reassured him that you could both just pop up to PiL's bedroom, as you were sure that FiL would have a Tux in there that friend could borrow, and as PiL were both a bit stressed at how late it was getting, what with them being the expected VIPs at the Golf Clubs NYE Party, you wouldn't bother asking them first as you knew it would be fine (is now the right time to recall the hastily sneaked 2 large Babychams that you had knocked back before leaving home?). Very unfairly when you went downstairs again with 'lounge suited friend' now done up in a rather silly looking 1980's Tux, that was also a bit too long on him, and definitely a little too tight on him, your MiL took one look at him, went a bit pale and slack jawed (luckily she was able to quickly recover her composure, if not her paleness), then came over to you and said in a too loud whisper

"isn't that DH's 1980 Tux that I have been trying to get him to throw out/give to a charity shop since 1992, I always thought that he looked like a waiter at The Savoy in it, but he loves it?"

(MiL doesn't know why, but your DH once told you after you DTD, that his DF had taken his first love out on their 1st date in it - DH's DF had been slightly worse for wear, and rather maudlin when he had confessed that to your DH OP hadn't he, and later swore your DH to secrecy, luckily that doesn't include one's SO does it?)

I can't help you with the next bit OP, as I am still a little confused about that myself. Did FiL (and embarrassed about anyone questioning the 1980's Tux) MiL, then immediately leave for the NYE Party saying to you to help yourselves to any drinks that were left because she was being polite, but really wanted you to get your behinds out of there and then rang you from The Golf Club to (very fairly) hurry you up, by saying the car park was nearly full (sorry if I am getting some details wrong OP, I am getting quite tired myself now), or did they pettily stay at home to ruin your fun stop you getting your free drinks that you had been so looking forward to, and needed because of all the stress of the long journey across town, that wasn't your fault, because who knew there would be traffic on NYE?

GrinGrinGrin
DePfeffoff · 29/01/2022 06:19

@Hisanimalgrace

The flip side is...in laws stay, socialise with family for half an hour and we all go relaxed, loo etc bearing in mind we were in different areas when there?

Arnt pre drinks sometimes they best bit Shock

But half an hour wasn't available because you were already 35 minutes late?

Why did you need the loo having left your house only 50 minutes before?

merrymouse · 29/01/2022 06:26

@Hisanimalgrace

They didn't trust us in their house, not even for half an hour. We couldn't have a drink in peace! The car park was an excuse to pummel us out. Yes we were late but it couldn't be helped.
Why did you need to have a drink if you were already late?
Fridafever · 29/01/2022 06:29

This is definitely the poster that got upset with the in-laws withholding the fancy champagne. OP have you considered that you and DH could buy your own alcohol occasionally?

OddSocksSparklyDocsandDungaree · 29/01/2022 06:35

  • You turned up late due to traffic. That can't be helped. However, that made you already late for the event.
  • You then wanted to wait half an hour for a drink. That would then make you even more late for the event, especially if traffic was as bad as you made out.

YABU I'm afraid Smile

Boomboomackalackalackaboom · 29/01/2022 06:37

In a way, I blame the parents Grin. If they didn't bring up DH knowing how to tie a bow tie, how to deal with long car journeys, and how to behave with other people's jackets, you wouldn't be in this mess

😂

BABAHOTEL · 29/01/2022 06:39

@Hisanimalgrace

Mr Bob. We had been trapped in stationary traffic for about 50 mins, normally a 15 min drive We/ I needed loo...relax etc...dh needed bow tie doing.
You needed to relax? Why ?
BABAHOTEL · 29/01/2022 06:40

@LeQuern

Can’t work out if I’ve had too much or not enough wine.
GrinGrinGrin
marpelier · 29/01/2022 06:40

Bahahaha.
I love this. It's so...... British. I feel sorry for MIL. I hate having anyone but family in my house when I am not present. Most of the OP's posts made no sense to me , but I think I gathered that they arrived late at "pre-drinks" before an event . These drinks were at her Pil's. It was time to leave for the planned event when they arrived , very late, but OP and DH decided that they needed a drink and the loo and ( to fix a bow-tie Confused which they could surely have done later or before.
Randomly friend had nothing to wear except your FIL's old tux and wore it to their house which upset MIL
PIL left
I'm lost after that as I can't work out where anyone was when the phone calls were made.
OP . You sound awful. Soz. Don't stay in someone's house unless they ask you too. WOuld you like MIL staying for a drink at yours when you weren't home? Weird people are weird.

Examsrus · 29/01/2022 06:40

I wonder what the event was? Did OP say?

marpelier · 29/01/2022 06:42

I meant to add that who on earth needs time to "relax" after a 50 minute drive. How do people like this survive in the world? Mind boggling.

Flabbyflabberghasted · 29/01/2022 06:45

Morning op! Hopefully you were just pissed last night and will read this this morning and will skulk off all embarrassed. If you still agree with what you said then that would be quite funny