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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To use benefits to put down a deposit for a house

435 replies

Bringinglightandpeace · 28/01/2022 14:08

Hello all,

This thread is not about me.

I have a friend who is feeling incredibly guilty. This is how it goes... so she applied for benefits, she has children and a husband,,, well technically partner but anyway she received a huge backlog of benefits. She confided in me that she would like to use the money to to put down a deposit for a help to buy scheme or shared ownership. I told her "well you have to use every opportunity that you can get" but in my conscience, I was thinking, is this right? I am on benefits myself so not judging at all. She feels a bit down about it as it's not her hard on money that she used to put a deposit down..but then again some parents give their children money for a deposit... so I guess it's similar.

However, I feel a bit of itch and thought to myself that I don't think what she is doing is right. But then again, I don't want to come across as jealous. What do you all think?

OP posts:
Kebabandchipsplease · 28/01/2022 16:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsAgnesDiPesto · 28/01/2022 16:42

@Willyoujustbequiet

It depends on the benefit - some like PIP aren't means tested so living with a partner makes no difference.
We’ve had all the details and it’s fraud, massively. Read all the OP’s posts.
Kebabandchipsplease · 28/01/2022 16:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

misssunshine4040 · 28/01/2022 17:00

Shame there's not as much outrage at the government defrauding our taxes everyday than moaning about joe bloggs and a few grand.
It's not right of course not but all this "my taxes pay for there house" and there are less public services because of fraudulent claimants...
Its not true, the welfare bill is small.
The tiny minority defraud it and those who do are usually in poverty.
The rich elites shaft you over a million times more

woodhill · 28/01/2022 17:03

They don't sound like they are in poverty and how much has she ever contributed to the treasury anyway.

RosyappleA · 28/01/2022 17:04

I come from an ethnic minority background and I always felt like the odd one out because all and i mean ALL of my community in London had “single” parents living together. They had so much money to spare, the latest things etc. My dad really struggled to raise us but refused to claim, they thought he was crazy. Well lets just say we are doing better than all of them now. I personally think as you have morals it has affected you, it isn’t jealousy but greedy people make me sick too to put it frankly. However, I don’t report as I feel karma will get them it is basically stealing. I just like to not have any of these types of people as “friends”. I was introduced to one a few years back through my OH she continues to have kids with him too whilst pretending to be single. I had to distance myself from her as I couldn’t stand the fact she would complain about money!
If you are single it is fine do what you want with the money but a working partner and full benefits as a single person just isn’t right.
Someone who can do this kind of thing is not someone I would want as a friend. I think you should distance yourself from her.

Dishwashersaurous · 28/01/2022 17:06

Last year an estimated £8.4bn was paid in fraudulent claims.

That's a lot of money to spend on other things

JohnStonesMissus · 28/01/2022 17:08

I know that girlmom21 for Christ's sake....

Lovemusic33 · 28/01/2022 17:19

Of course OP is taking about herself, what’s the likely hood of 2 people being that stupid that they think if they are not married he doesn’t have to contribute to the bills?

I made a tiny mistake in a tax credits form when I had someone living with me, well he lied about his previous years earnings, 2 years later tax credits caught up with me (after abusive ex had screwed me over and left), they had noticed ex had lied about his earnings and I’m now paying off a £5000 overpayment. It’s not easy to get away with anything these days, eventually it will catch up with you and something this big could land you in prison for fraud.

Wagsandclaws · 28/01/2022 17:23

I think it's you Op and you are sounding people out as to whether you will get caught or not ...

CornishTiger · 28/01/2022 17:24

Clearly talking about severe disability premium back date on income support. Wouldn’t have been entitled to that either of she lived with husband.

Dishwashersaurous · 28/01/2022 17:25

But if she's on SDP then how realistically is she going to be working FT soon in order to get a mortgage.

Saz12 · 28/01/2022 17:26

She’d be a fool. Her partner wouldn’t get a mortgage if he’s as financially unreliable as she says - his credit rating would be too low. She’s assuming she’ll get a decent full-time job with set hours that pays enough to satisfy a mortgage lender.

IMO, whatever she feels about her fraud, for her own sake she should get her benefits situation sorted so she gets what she’s entitled to and repays anything else. Otherwise she’ll spend the money and be utterly screwed if she gets caught.

iamruth · 28/01/2022 17:34

I was in the ‘her money, her choice’ camp until you told us the key information that essentially she is claiming fraudulently. This whole “she is really as she pays all the bills” thing is utter rubbish plenty of people live off one income and she is choosing to let him live there and still pay everything. Also “asking for a friend” - don’t do it OP just be honest

UndertheCedartree · 28/01/2022 17:41

@Bringinglightandpeace

But the issue is that I know of many people who do this and they do not get caught.
This makes me not sure this is real. You really know of many people who do this and don't get caught? I'm sorry I don't believe that for a minute.
CorrBlimeyGG · 28/01/2022 17:47

But if she's on SDP then how realistically is she going to be working FT soon in order to get a mortgage

If she's legitimately in receipt of SDP it's unrealistic. But if she can lie for one benefit, what else is she lying about?

oviraptor21 · 28/01/2022 17:56

The bottom line is a boyfriend can walk out at anytime too. Regardless of him living there she still IS a single parent.

When the boyfriend walks out that's when you report a change of circumstances and become a single claimant. Until then you are required to make a joint claim.

However, OP's 'friend' can claim PIP and work full-time. The two are not incompatible.

miltonj · 28/01/2022 17:58

Why on earth would you judge that! It's not like she's claimed fraudulently.

Fearnyleaves · 28/01/2022 17:58

There really is no point saying anything to your friend. She will soon learn that buying a house is a fantasy in this situation. They will not get a mortgage, simple as that.

endlesslystandingonlego · 28/01/2022 18:00

@miltonj

Why on earth would you judge that! It's not like she's claimed fraudulently.
😆😆😆😆
ThinWomansBrain · 28/01/2022 18:01

She hasn't told the council that her husband is living with her
If the backlog of benefits is because she falsely declared she was living as a single parent - report the fraud.
If the partner is a recent change, and she was a single parent throughout the period in question - seems a sensible use of the money.

Franklin12 · 28/01/2022 18:04

Why are some trying to justify this. All this well as he is just a boyfriend don’t bother saying he lives there, he could leave at any time etc.

Shame on you. And do I believe this is a tiny majority of people. Sadly I don’t.

woodhill · 28/01/2022 18:08

I think he's more than a bf but the marriage isn't recognised under British law.

jb7445 · 28/01/2022 18:13

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

MsAgnesDiPesto · 28/01/2022 18:17

@jb7445

I'm coming at this from a different angle.

OP has stated that her friend can't work currently due to childcare issues. So her options appear to be -

  • partner moves out. She continues to claim the same level of benefits. Partner possibly also claims top up HB and WTC. This continues for the foreseeable future as friend has just had a baby and cannot get a job that pays enough to cover childcare. Result - increased cost to taxpayer.
  • partner stays, friend ceases fraudulent claim (and pays back overpaid benefit?). Couple make a joint claim which (unless the partner is on a very good wage) will probably still be substantial. Result - short term gain for the taxpayer, but long term they will never be able to pay off the debts and will probably be stuck in a rut claiming what they can and living in miserable conditions for a very long time (if not forever).
  • friend uses the money for a house. Partner pays off his debt. Friend gets a job. Result - couple are now largely independent (maybe with some top up benefits eg WTC like many families) and able to build a decent future for themselves and their kids without being a long term burden on the taxpayer.

To me it's a no-brainer Confused

So you’d advocate a new system of non-means tested government grants to pay off one’s debts, and free deposits for house purchases? Great, sign me up!