To think it’s disingenuous to say breastfeeding is free?

[Jerrui]

When pregnant encountered lots and lots of breastfeeding promotion- often it’s cited it being free as a benefit.

I have personally found as soon as you actually have a baby and are feeding it there is absolutely zero support. In my area there is no infant feeding team etc just community midwife who told me to substitute BF with FF at two weeks old when baby failed to regain birth weight.

I have spent hundreds of pounds on lactation consultant, double electric pump, milk storage, trying to keep breastfeeding going.

I have added formula top up and was shocked how cheap it is. We got bottles for free in those Emma’s diary type packs, and Aldi formula costs £2 a week.

I think trying to promote breastfeeding as a more economic option to pregnant women is stupid.
I feel actually public funds would be much better spend on training and recruiting to provide actual support to mothers trying to breastfeed, rather than health promotion with misleading, simplistic and dumbed down messages.
I feel it’s no wonder breastfeeding is mainly the preserve of the middle classes when you have to invest so much money to get any help!

TotalRhubarb: Wow, you had time to cook lentils and stuff from scratch while feeding and looking after a newborn?!

You should thank your lucky stars. You had it easy. You were lucky.

Not everyone does.

Those of us with reflux babies with latch problems who feed endlessly round the clock do NOT have time to tit-arse around with lentils. We're lucky if we get to grab something out of the fridge or stuff something in the microwave for 4 minutes. Chances of eating it hot, mind-you, are minimal.

Why are you finding it so hard to grasp that your experience is not universal and that others have it different?

Actually, scratch what I said. I was just answering another poster who insisted you need extra proteins to bf. That is why I mentioned lentils and chicken. Fair enough, takes you a long time if you want to cook it from scratch.

So don't. Extra food is a bullshit reason. Eat exactly what you want.

Babies get very quick at bf-ing. It does not take that much time. confused

When babies take to bf and it goes well, then yes, they get relatively quick at bf after a while (though those 6 weeks or so don't usually feel quick at the time).

But here's the thing. Not all babies get on with breastfeeding or find it easy. Like the ones with TT. Or other health issue. Or for who knows why.

I bf'd for 6 months and it never became less than excruciatingly painful. DD never got quicker at it. Having to hold her upright for 45 minutes after each painfully super-long feed because of her reflux never got easier.

Not all babies and women find it easy or quick or efficient or lovely. That doesn't invalidate the experience of those like you, who do get on with it. So try not to invalidate the experiences of those who it never gets easy for. We're not lying or doing it wrong!!

Heh, I see a lot of people have taken issue with my comment about breastfeeding only being free if a woman’s time is worth nothing!

So many people have completely missed the point and made their own inferences that I think breastfeeding is worthless (my ebf baby and his ebf older sibling know otherwise) and has no value (of course it does), and is only said by those who feel disgust or apathy towards children (really ).

If that was you, rest assured, you’re either naively or wilfully misinterpreting it.

Thank you to the sensible posters for highlighting the obvious, that it’s making a point about the value of women’s unpaid labour!

So don't. Extra food is a bullshit reason. Eat exactly what you want.

What on earth do you mean, that extra food is a 'bullshit reason'??

Would a 30 or 40% increase on your weekly food bill be a bullshit reason if your finances were really tight? Say, you were on universal credit and constantly having to rob Peter to pay Paul?

Cost of the extra food needed by the mother may not always - or even often - be the clinching factor in why somebody chooses not to bf. But it's not necessarily an insignificant one either.

It’s just luck perhaps? With first I spent a little money on stuff which probably didn’t need, second didn’t have any issues. Never spent a penny and with third I’ve spent £100’s sorting out issues to allow bf to continue. Bf two to 15 months and hope to do the same or longer with DS3. I agree that bf support isn’t great and often by the time you get help you’ve given up or messed up supply. But when it does go right it’s so easy and the best use of a woman’s time 🤨

@TotalRhubarb

While this is true, none of the above are strictly necessary. Obviously, formula is an absolute necessity if that is the way a baby is being fed. The breast is the only strictly necessary thing for BF babies, the rest are just add-ons. Choices.

I'm not sure how much of a 'choice' it is to buy Lansinoh and nipple shields if your baby has a TT and your nipples are shredded to kingdom come. I suppose you have the choice to do that, or say 'fuck this' and switch to formula instead. Just carrying on bf in agony isn't going to be feasible for most, though.

Nipple shields weren't included in the list I quoted actually. And expressing breast milk and massaging into sore nipples is often just as good as expensive nipple creams.

Equating breast feeding with unpaid labour is quite mad.

@blueshoes

TotalRhubarb: Wow, you had time to cook lentils and stuff from scratch while feeding and looking after a newborn?!

You should thank your lucky stars. You had it easy. You were lucky.

Not everyone does.

Those of us with reflux babies with latch problems who feed endlessly round the clock do NOT have time to tit-arse around with lentils. We're lucky if we get to grab something out of the fridge or stuff something in the microwave for 4 minutes. Chances of eating it hot, mind-you, are minimal.

Why are you finding it so hard to grasp that your experience is not universal and that others have it different?

Actually, scratch what I said. I was just answering another poster who insisted you need extra proteins to bf. That is why I mentioned lentils and chicken. Fair enough, takes you a long time if you want to cook it from scratch.

So don't. Extra food is a bullshit reason. Eat exactly what you want.

No reason not to breastfeed is a bull shit reason. Women don’t even need to have a particular reason not to breastfeed. It might be that they simply don’t want to. And that is their choice to make

It entirely depends on your breastfeeding experience. It certainly was free for me because I borrowed a breast pump, didn’t get on with pumping and my dd wouldn’t drink from a bottle, so I never bothered buying one or any bottles!
Although, I never found breastfeeding easy I stuck with it for 18 months and therefore didn’t have those expenses related to bottle feeding.

Well it has been virtually free for me- never had a lactation consultant, never pumped. Only thing I've bought is breast pads and nursing bras

Not everyone requires those things you've listed. Breastfeeding is free for some where as formula feeding has a monetary cost for all those that do it.

I do think simply saying BF is free oversimplifies it.
Yes, it’s free to try and pop your baby on your boob, but if baby + boob ALWAYS equalled “happy breastfeeding parent and child”, well we’d all be doing it.
I tried very hard to breastfeed and it didn’t work for me. I ended up pumping for 6 months instead.
Trying to BF “cost” me in a lot of ways, and ultimately made it so I was not enjoying my first days of parenting, and I actually felt like my baby hated me because we could just not make it click.

I really had assumed it would be easy, or if not easy it was just a matter of trying hard enough. It wasn’t. It didn’t work. If you know anything about the ridiculous routine involved in keeping up a supply when exclusively pumping, you’ll know that a lack of willpower isn’t my problem.

So yeah, breastfeeding is free. But it’s not that simple for everyone.

Some Mothers don't see breast feeding their baby as 'labour', they see it as nurturing their child which is nothing to do with labour - this is just a different opinion though not necessarily wilful misinterpretation.

Well it varies massively. I guess all that can be said is that breastfeeding CAN be entirely free whereas formula feeding definitely cannot.

Ff my dd as struggled to bf… spent a fortune trying various bottles, teats, steriliser, formula, a perfect prep etc etc.

Bf DS and didn’t use pumps or anything. I bought 1 pack of reusable bamboo pads off eBay for about £5 and that was it.

Will be different for every child.

Or perhaps I should say might instead of can.

Equating breast feeding with unpaid labour is quite mad.

What if you couldn't return to work as you wanted to?, had to work less to work around your bf child? Had to take time off unpaid to rest because you were tired from night feeds? What if you couldn't meaningfully do SPL so you could return to work because of BF? What if you had to turn down work opportunities because they would have meant overnight stays away from bf baby? What if you weren't paid for pumping breaks?

Saying it can't be equated with unpaid labour is very naive as to the effects bf can have. Not everyone is off for a year. Not every be f baby takes a bottle.

I breastfed my 2 children until they were over 1. I don't think it's disingenuous to say that breastfeeding is free but I do think that the benefit of it being so is over-exaggerated and used as a selling point to new parents. Some of the cost is down to choice, I did buy a fair few nursing tops so I could feel comfortable bf in public, sure there will be people who will shout that the 2 shirt method is adequate but it's also not practical if you spend half the summer in a heatwave which is what I experienced with DC2.

I also had to spend money on lactation consultants to cut their tongue ties both times. The NHS wouldn't cover it or even accept there was a problem with DC1 because he gained weight, the fact that he screamed for about 15 hours a day for the first 4 months of his life wasn't important to them. DC2 lost more weight initially and even then they weren't fussed. I wish support had improved since but anecdotal stories from friends tell me otherwise, one in particular, her baby took weeks and weeks to regain her birth weight and even then the support she received was inadequate, the HVs just told her to express more despite the fact she was already pumping around the clock.

If there was adequate support for breastfeeding mums then the cost wouldn't come into it tbh. If 81% of mums initiate breastfeeding at birth yet only 24% are breastfeeding at 6 weeks then that doesn't indicate lack of advice given prenatally. It rather indicates that the support given between birth and 6 weeks (and beyond) is woefully inadequate. My experiences support this, I was told over and over how wonderful breastfeeding is yet when your nipples are shredded and your baby has lost too much weight, you need practical support to make it work not just be told "but you need to carry on because it'll save you money!"

@TotalRhubarb

So don't. Extra food is a bullshit reason. Eat exactly what you want.

What on earth do you mean, that extra food is a 'bullshit reason'??

Would a 30 or 40% increase on your weekly food bill be a bullshit reason if your finances were really tight? Say, you were on universal credit and constantly having to rob Peter to pay Paul?

Cost of the extra food needed by the mother may not always - or even often - be the clinching factor in why somebody chooses not to bf. But it's not necessarily an insignificant one either.

Who spends 40% more on food and how is that worse than spending that money on formula anyway

@KurtWilde
But people are being dismissive. Nobody is saying that those who found it easy and cheap to breastfeed are lying. There are people who are saying they spent a fortune, they had to pump due to lack of supply, and their baby feeds slowly and others are literally saying ‘no it’s free, you don’t need a pump, babies feed quickly’. Nobody here has said for those who found it easy and cheap to breastfeed is lying, but it’s definitely happened the other way around. People of course are allowed to disagree, but saying a person is lying is completely different. This is why women are often scared to speak out.

Who spends 40% more on food and how is that worse than spending that money on formula anyway

Yeah this is bonkers 🤣 I just ate a few more biscuits than I should have done.

Breastfeeding is free. Feeding your baby from your breast is free. It is, and it is a benefit, along with never needing to pack bags or sterilise things or whatever. It is a choice, all decisions about a woman's reproductive choices must be hers alone, but it is free.

Breastfeeding support is sometimes free but often not free. Extra equipment is not free. There is a difference. The trouble is all these threads and conversations and out how hard it is, how painful, what a tie, babies don't sleep, breast milk isn't even that good anyway, etc etc etc, all they do is undermine the practice further. Mothers, sisters, older women in the community are not able to support mums because for a lot of us, our mums were encouraged by formula companies to disregard the benefits. Which means general knowledge is lost, which makes the support medical and specialised, and less likely to be free.

@SirSamuelVimes

Who spends 40% more on food and how is that worse than spending that money on formula anyway

Yeah this is bonkers 🤣 I just ate a few more biscuits than I should have done.

Innit. I wish 500 extra calories wasn't so easy to eat!

'Unpaid labour' is using the language of the patriarchy, why do we have to put a price tag on everything, is it because that is the only narrative that is recognised and respected by men. I am a Mother and I nurtured my babies for reasons that have nothing to do with money- that should be respected for what it is!

It has a value that has nothing to did with payment.

Breastfeeding can be, and often is, free. Formula feeding can never be.

No value judgement involved in that, it's simply stating a fact.