To think it’s disingenuous to say breastfeeding is free?

[Jerrui]

When pregnant encountered lots and lots of breastfeeding promotion- often it’s cited it being free as a benefit.

I have personally found as soon as you actually have a baby and are feeding it there is absolutely zero support. In my area there is no infant feeding team etc just community midwife who told me to substitute BF with FF at two weeks old when baby failed to regain birth weight.

I have spent hundreds of pounds on lactation consultant, double electric pump, milk storage, trying to keep breastfeeding going.

I have added formula top up and was shocked how cheap it is. We got bottles for free in those Emma’s diary type packs, and Aldi formula costs £2 a week.

I think trying to promote breastfeeding as a more economic option to pregnant women is stupid.
I feel actually public funds would be much better spend on training and recruiting to provide actual support to mothers trying to breastfeed, rather than health promotion with misleading, simplistic and dumbed down messages.
I feel it’s no wonder breastfeeding is mainly the preserve of the middle classes when you have to invest so much money to get any help!

I suspect a lot of it is to do with the circles you mix in. None of my university or local friends needed expensive pumps, consultants or spent a fortune on clothes. They all breastfed for 6 months plus. We're not a wealthy crowd (nurses, teachers etc) and just did it. I struggled at first with my eldest but I didn't know that a lactation consultant was a thing and I'm not sure what they could do more than other free resources. In my local area breastfeeding rates are relatively low- but from the mums I know who chose to formula feed the decision was made before birth and not due to cost of breastfeeding.

I think it's the same with most things, it can cost a fortune if you're prepared or able to spend that fortune. I imagine formula feeding is similar with perfect preps etc.

I am interested to know how many bras a formula feeding mum would buy in the first 6-12 months- I imagine a couple due to weight changes after pregnancy so unless you're unlucky and leaking through multiple bras a day I can't imagine it's much more expensive (unless of course you choose the expensive brands).

"I wish the midwives and health visitors had listened when I said DS2 couldn't suck properly and was exhausting himself before he was full."

Ds struggled with feeding at birth and couldn't bf at all. We thought at the time it was just because he was 5 weeks early but he was diagnosed with low muscle tone when he was a toddler - didn't walk until he was nearly 2- and he still has slight problems with chewing and sports bottles now.

Anecdotally- every baby in my NCT group has had some formula and not one of the mums who are still breastfeeding have done this without a double electric pump.

I'm just commenting for balance...

I had many issues breastfeeding my first (tongue tie, supply due to tongue tie, latch, jaundice, slow weight gain, nipple trauma, mastitis) but did so for 2.5 years. I'm now breastfeeding my second (aged 4 months) and that's been a dream, no problems whatsoever.

Neither of my babies have ever had formula (personal preference as dairy intolerance runs in the family) and I've never owned a double breast pump (or used one outside a hospital). I do own a secondhand breast pump, but only pump every so often in advance of leaving the baby for a few hours occasionally, otherwise I just can't be bothered with the faff!

I am interested to know how many bras a formula feeding mum would buy in the first 6-12 months

I ff my first, bf my second.

For my first, I bought one pregnancy/breastfeeding bra to get me through the last month of pregnancy and the first couple of weeks after. I also bought a pack of back extenders for about £3. Otherwise, I went straight back to my normal bras. I cant remember if I bought any/many the 12 months following, but it would have been at a usual frequency, as size stayed the same.

For bf, I bought:

• 2 bralets
• 3 hot milk bras
• 2 other breastfeeding bras I saw going cheap.

Definitely more bras! But more because I was starting from no suitable bras, and I have a bit of a bra habit anyway.

The women who have had no issues breastfeeding are really dismissive of the costs associated with breastfeeding if it doesn’t come easily to you. I didn’t buy an electric double pump because I have money to burn, run in wealthy circles or because I’ve fallen victim to a marketing ploy. I was advised by the hospital to pump after every feed to increase my supply. Now of course I could do that with a £12 Hakka pump but considering I needed to do 20 minutes each side and this was after a feed which would take 40 mins and I had to feed every 3 hours, I bought an electric one so I could have a drink, something to eat, use my phone to stay slightly connected to the outside world. As it turns out, I had to do one side at a time as the pump leaked if it tried both sides but at least I still had my hands free and didn’t have to add hand pain to my issues with breastfeeding.

I certainly didn’t want to spend £250 on something so I could spend the better part of two hours, eight times a day trying to get some milk out of my nipples and into a bottle or baby.

I've used the same 6 nursing bras for the last 6 years across 2 DC. All still going well.

@justclosethedoorsanta

But it’s you being dismissive?
It is not a fallacy that many promotions use it being free as an incentive, just not the one link you are posting.
I’m not debating that many women will find breastfeeding straightforward- but also a pretty significant proportion don’t find it straightforward!

It shows your ignorance- every single mother who bought a double electric pump did so on the advice of a professional- because they needed to do triple feeding or even exclusive pumping. It was t because they didn’t have better things to spend their money on.
My banging away and anger is exactly because the difficulties aren’t spoken about antenatally, there is clearly a patchwork postcode lottery of support provision, and it makes women feel guilty when they encounter difficulties if they have been told how easy it is and they have failed.
Women who want to BF and don’t manage it are twice as likely to develop post partum depression.

Having read this thread I’m so glad I decided on formula from day one. No guilt. Easy feeding time - whoever invented the Perfect Prep is a lifesaver. Healthy babies and happy parents is the goal.

@Jerrui - Your experience is not more valid than anyone else's, you are only being asked to accept that. The last thing anyone should want is to influence other women away from breastfeeding. Open up a conversation with your own CCG, with PALS at your local hospital and with the senior midwife in your area about how support should have been improved. You can do that based on your own experience and make it constructive.

@Adatwistscientist

I've used the same 6 nursing bras for the last 6 years across 2 DC. All still going well.

Have you not changed size a million times? Or worn then out through washing? Or stretched them to buggery so they fit badly?

Healthy babies and happy parents is the goal.

^ absolutely. It's just a shame there isn't better education and support to enable breastfeeding to happen for more women in the West, as all the research that isn't funded by the FF industry confirms the health benefits of breastfeeding are superior, especially for mum.

It's just a shame there isn't better education and support to enable breastfeeding to happen for more women in the West

Aren’t the benefits we’ll known in the U.K. and talked about at almost every last midwife appointment?

It’s a little naive to think that women choose to formula feed because they couldn’t possibly know the benefits.

I had the bf benefits pushed at every appointment - but I no lack of information and support from family but using formula suited us better.

I would think she means the mechanics of breastfeeding. Teaching someone to use lansinoh for any pain, how to break off and relatch a baby if it's hurting, check for tongue tie or thrush, give advice on engorgement and mastitis etc. In my area we had that; hospital classes, some useful midwives or health visitors (some less helpful, I sent an email with specifics to midwifery), weekly breastfeeding support group at the children's centre, local osteopath had a £5 breastfeeding group with coffee and brief massage that had a lactation specialist at it, groups of women breastfeeding in the church playgroups who welcome anyone, La Leche League fortnightly meetings etc. I didn't attend some, but I'd been given all the details so I was prepped to go if needed it. Anyone who doesn't have all that support available needs to target their particular CCG to tell them why they are failing the women in their area. Don't moan online, get it sorted for the ones who come after you.

@Socialcarenope no, not at all. The ones I like are stretchy anyway to accommodate different milk supply. One of them has had the safety strap snap on it but it still functions. Wash on delicate mode. I guess 2-3 years of pandemic has helped as haven't been out much so been on my sleep bras quite a bit!

I would think she means the mechanics of breastfeeding

Yes, and also education to understand the reality of normal newborn BF behaviour. So often new mothers are discouraged because they think something must be wrong, because they haven't anticipated certain behaviours e.g. Cluster feeding etc.

I hear you OP. I spent £200 on maternity bras (I have massive boobs and it took a lot of failed attempts before I found one that fitted), £40 a month on a pump for when I was in too much pain to feed, £200 on a tongue tie cut as the NHS referral had me waiting for weeks and I couldn't take the pain any more (turns out it didn't work anyway...). Plus all the money I spent on formula when I couldn't feed due to pain or dd couldn't latch. I battled through the total hell of the first few months and eventually fed for 2 years. But if I hadn't had spare cash I would have switched fully to formula within weeks.

[quote RosesAndHellebores]@ThirdElephant what is the mother and infant survival rate in war zones/areas of the third world enduring famine.

I'd have died 200 years ago. As would my son. Only the survivors continue to be breastfed. Have you any idea how inadequate I felt 27 years ago because I felt my failure to feed my son in a different era would have resulted in his death.[/quote]
You shouldn't feel inadequate because of your theoretical survival chances in any given historical society. My eyesight is absolutely rubbish and if I'd been born in ancient Sparta I'd have been killed as soon as that became apparent... I wasn't, thankfully, born in ancient Sparta.

Sorry, but your hypothetical life chances if you were born at a different time is a bizarre thing to get feelings of inadequacy about.

I also agree OP that the support post-birth is woeful. Every professional I spoke to gave me different advice which conflicted. When I tried to push for more help they got sick of me and told me to give up and formula feed.

Also, in the war torn countries, infant mortality rates are the highest. That's not something people should look as the benchmark.

As PP said, I'm not suggesting it's the gold standard . I'm saying that breastfeeding in its most basic form is free, and all the people saying that you need breast pads, nursing bras, an au pair, breast pumps etc, are confusing the issue. They aren't necessary for breastfeeding- they're added extras that help. They might be added extras that you personally wouldn't have breastfed without, given the readily available alternative of formula. But, ultimately, they're not necessary for breastfeeding.

@EmiliaAirheart

I’ve also heard: breastfeeding is only free if a woman’s time is worth nothing.

That’s pretty deep

Completely agree, OP. I bought a few bottles and then spent £8 a week on formula. Friends who BF had to buy special bras and feeding tops, and their grocery bills went up due to the extra calories then needed, not to mention creams and ointments for their sore nipples. The definitely spent more than me overall.