To think it’s disingenuous to say breastfeeding is free?

[Jerrui]

When pregnant encountered lots and lots of breastfeeding promotion- often it’s cited it being free as a benefit.

I have personally found as soon as you actually have a baby and are feeding it there is absolutely zero support. In my area there is no infant feeding team etc just community midwife who told me to substitute BF with FF at two weeks old when baby failed to regain birth weight.

I have spent hundreds of pounds on lactation consultant, double electric pump, milk storage, trying to keep breastfeeding going.

I have added formula top up and was shocked how cheap it is. We got bottles for free in those Emma’s diary type packs, and Aldi formula costs £2 a week.

I think trying to promote breastfeeding as a more economic option to pregnant women is stupid.
I feel actually public funds would be much better spend on training and recruiting to provide actual support to mothers trying to breastfeed, rather than health promotion with misleading, simplistic and dumbed down messages.
I feel it’s no wonder breastfeeding is mainly the preserve of the middle classes when you have to invest so much money to get any help!

1) Breastfeeding mothers absolutely have to consume more calories than non breastfeeding mothers, especially protein. I have read studies on this

Well yes because you can't expect to zero costs, that's obvious. You eat a bit more ,ok? Still cheaper than formula - I mean, if this is an argument why breastfeeding is undesirable (because you buy a tiny bit more food), then how much more does cost apply to formula? Food goes through your body and you get to enjoy eating it, it's not really a burden.

@LuckySantangelo35 I guess that's just personal preference! We did baby classes or saw friends every day so got out lots but then there were times where I could sit on sofa and read a book for a while she fed and I really enjoyed that too.

Personally, I think that sometimes expectations are too high of those early weeks and there's this sense you need to be doing 'things' at every point when it's such a short time in the grand scheme of things. But then I'm a weirdo who loved night feeds

@blueshoes

1) Breastfeeding mothers absolutely have to consume more calories than non breastfeeding mothers, especially protein. I have read studies on this

Doesn't mean it is that expensive to get more calories. I assume you are living in the UK. How much does a batch of lentils cost or even chicken. This is such a non-cost bullshit reason.

Grasping at straws. There's really no need for this debate to be dug up bi weekly. Feed your baby how you like, but this reason is a bit nonsensical.

@KurtWilde

Breastfeeding mothers absolutely have to consume more calories than non breastfeeding mothers, especially protein. I have read studies on this

IF they can afford to. This is why I say it's subjective. When I had DD1 I was still at college, she fed round the clock for the first 10 weeks because my supply was crap and my midwife told me to 'eat plenty of biscuits and milk', which didn't cost any more than normal as we always had these things in the house. I certainly couldn't have afforded lactation consultants and god knows what. We eventually got settled into it after 10 fraught weeks. At no extra cost.

If you can afford it, great. But don't minimise the experience of bf'ing mums who just cracked on with it because that was their only option.

My health assistant told me to eat cakes and biscuits too because my dd was not putting on weight (heart problems, which had nothing to do with my breast milk). She was talking out of her bottom. Glad she left the profession. There is so much ignorance and housewives tales amongst midwives and health visitors around bf-ing.

Just eat as normal. I cannot believe you have a calorie deficit.

I never came within spitting distance of a lactation consultant. nor even dreamed I needed one. I ate exactly what I wanted, no more no less. There was nothing to afford.

“Breastfeeding is only free if a woman’s time is worth nothing”

What? I think I’m missing the point of this statement. Do people think women should be paid to breastfeed?

I breastfed both my DC whilst I was at home on maternity leave. If I wasn’t breastfeeding them I wouldn’t have been out making (more) money instead. I didn’t feel as if I was giving up my valuable time for free.

Women have breasts. Men don’t. So if a woman wants her baby to be breastfed..well she has to do that. Many women enjoy the bonding experience of BF. Why does money come into the equation and what are the costs that a woman incurs if that is her chosen method to feed her baby

Of course it is not free. It comes from a woman's body and it is a great investment and gift from her.

@poopykins

1) Breastfeeding mothers absolutely have to consume more calories than non breastfeeding mothers, especially protein. I have read studies on this

Well yes because you can't expect to zero costs, that's obvious. You eat a bit more ,ok? Still cheaper than formula - I mean, if this is an argument why breastfeeding is undesirable (because you buy a tiny bit more food), then how much more does cost apply to formula? Food goes through your body and you get to enjoy eating it, it's not really a burden.

What if you are trying to lose the weight you gained whilst pregnant though?

When I decided to formula feed - cost didn’t come into the decision. It was irrelevant when adding up the costs of raising a child.

Breast feeding has cost me thousands of pounds.

The saying that it's only free of the mother's time is with noting, didn't just relate to newborns, and it's been so true for me.

Caring for my bf baby was not a chore with an hourly rate, but the effect it had on my paid work did cover at a cost.

My bottle refusing baby meant it was hard for me to return to work (v part time) when the baby was 3m old. My husband's shared parental leave involved leaving me outside on the car, attempting to work on my laptop, whilst he went to baby groups in case she needed feeding.

It meant that childcare involved me working in the same house when others were looking after my baby, so she could be brought to me.

Its meant, when for over a year, she woke up 5-10 times a night for feeding (this want newborn, this was 6m-18m) I had to deal with it all, so rather than being able to do a full day (wfh) the next day, I'd have to take nap breaks to keep going. In her paid girls, and if I added all that up, it would have cost in the thousands.

If wasn't my plan, I didn't even want to bf, but she was very keen at birth and promptly refused all bottles! I feel for for nearly 3 years. Physically, I found it very easy (save for the additional sleep deprivation) but it was incredibly expensive.

Sorry, some of that doesn't make sense. Oh for an edit button.

@lucky when breastfeeding you need to eat a bit more, not twice the normal amount. Still perfectly doable to lose pregnancy weight.

I'm interested that so many women nowadays pay for lactation consultants, very expensive electric pumps and even unproven treatments such as cranial osteopathy.

When I was breastfeeding in the '90s DC1 was very difficult to establish. What helped was a young student midwife who had fed her own baby and the NCT breastfeeding counselor (both free). NCT counselor also counteracted a lot of really bad advice from the qualified hospital midwives and the HV.

I learned from bitter experience to completely ignore advice from anyone who had not actually breastfed. My subsequent babies felt much easier but that was largely because I knew what I was doing.

I had a hand me down pump from a friend - nothing fancy costing hundreds. I ate when hungry just as I normally would. I don't remember eating bigger portions but even if I had, the cost would not have been anything like the cost of formula at that time.

I do wonder how many of the expensive gadgets and treatments are just marketing efforts targeting women who would otherwise spending large amounts on fancy sterilisers, bottles and formula.

Its pretty poor that so little good advice is given to women who want to breastfeed considering the headline is advice is constantly hectoring women to breastfeed.

@Cheekypeach

Most people I know that bf buy nursing bras, nursing tops, possibly a shawl, nipple cream, breast pads, a breast pump, bottles, a steriliser… which all together is a few hundred quid at least.

While this is true, none of the above are strictly necessary. Obviously, formula is an absolute necessity if that is the way a baby is being fed. The breast is the only strictly necessary thing for BF babies, the rest are just add-ons. Choices.

the breastfeeding community / those who encourage breastfeeding (and btw I think breastfeeding is very likely the best if you can do it for your baby) just ignores what society is like now-a-days

• mothers (even those with generous maternity leave packages) have to contend with the constant bombardment of questions about when they might "return to work" and contribute to the household income (see above ref@ challenges of doing so whilst breastfeeding). These qustions contribute to stress and stress counters breastmilk flow

• many new mothers now-a-day do not live near their own birth family and/or supportive family network (if they are lucky enough to have one) so will not automatically have someone to walk alongside them in the breastfeeding journey (extreme tiredness / boredom / juggling domestic duties etc)

Society largely ignores this and just assumes that all new mums have support networks (or if they don't ultimately it is a cold risk analysis by healthcare professionals/social workers etc)

Society is not set up to accommodate breastfeeding at any level so those who do so have some lucky factors in the home/family background and/or are so determined to do so they are prepared to very radically change their whole life and immediate future for the sake of breastfeeding.

Sorry if this has already been said, but I've no idea why "it's free" is promoted as a big benefit. The amount of time/energy/exhaustion that a BF mum has to expend (especially if it isn't easy for her) far outweighs the tenner or so that formula costs. No one in the Western world will BF just to save money. You have to really want to do it.

What would help is much more realistic info available antenatally. I was told all about the 'benefits' of BFing (most of which turned out to be untrue or massively bigged up), that it was free, convenient, all women could do it, fantastic bonding opportunity etc. None of those things turned out to be true, although some will be true for some women.

What would have helped would have been to learn about the risk factors for milk delay and low supply, what to do about them, information about supplementing and combi-feeding (I was in a Baby Friendly hospital so the only mention of formula was 'unnecessary and expensive' ). And accurate info about the risks and benefits of EBFing, EFFing etc.

That includes what is subjective - so cost of feeding, enjoyment, convenience is all subjective. As a 50/50 combi-feeder I found bottle feeding far more enjoyable and convenient that BFing.

I had no idea EBFing had risks, yet it made both me and my baby seriously ill. We should never have been encouraged to EBF but the current climate is so obsessed with EBFing rates and that sets women up to fail.

@C8H10N4O2

I'm interested that so many women nowadays pay for lactation consultants, very expensive electric pumps and even unproven treatments such as cranial osteopathy.

When I was breastfeeding in the '90s DC1 was very difficult to establish. What helped was a young student midwife who had fed her own baby and the NCT breastfeeding counselor (both free). NCT counselor also counteracted a lot of really bad advice from the qualified hospital midwives and the HV.

I learned from bitter experience to completely ignore advice from anyone who had not actually breastfed. My subsequent babies felt much easier but that was largely because I knew what I was doing.

I had a hand me down pump from a friend - nothing fancy costing hundreds. I ate when hungry just as I normally would. I don't remember eating bigger portions but even if I had, the cost would not have been anything like the cost of formula at that time.

I do wonder how many of the expensive gadgets and treatments are just marketing efforts targeting women who would otherwise spending large amounts on fancy sterilisers, bottles and formula.

Its pretty poor that so little good advice is given to women who want to breastfeed considering the headline is advice is constantly hectoring women to breastfeed.

@C8H10N4O2 The difference for me personally was giving birth during a covid. There was no NCT, no community midwife/HV visits beyond the first 2 weeks - everything was over the phone or via video call. I have no local family support and my DH was still working as an essential worker but travelling abroad for weeks at a time. I was literally alone in a flat with a newborn that was having feeding issues and the only people who could help me were through a phone or a screen and couldn’t physically do anything. I ended up ordering the expensive double electric pump in the middle of the night when I was physically and mentally drained.

I breast fed DD1 until 14 months and am still feeding DD2 who is 15 months. For me the cost absolutely was a factor, but there were also several other factors, including convenience, not having to faff with bottles in the night and the health benefits for both myself and DDs. I was very fortunate to have an amazing SIL who had breastfed 2 children and was a wealth of useful advice and helped me to know what was normal. I did buy bottles for DD1 which she used when older, but this would have been a cost with formula feeding anyway. I also enjoy the time I've spent feeding them, and I'm unsure how much of a difference in time there is between the two when you consider the time spent sterilising, cooling boiled water, buying/replacing the bits needed and organising everything to have it ready to take it out with you.

It’s not free. I needed nursing bras (of various sizes) and pads, a decent pump (don’t waste your time on the hand pumps, they are shit) and a steam steriliser and bottles for expressing (essential unless you plan on not leaving your dc for 6 months). It was fine but definitely not free.

@blueshoes I think that comment you made about BF not taking much time is very damaging. My BF baby spent at least an hour feeding each time for the first 3 months. It most certainly was not very quick.

@blueshoes

1) Breastfeeding mothers absolutely have to consume more calories than non breastfeeding mothers, especially protein. I have read studies on this

Doesn't mean it is that expensive to get more calories. I assume you are living in the UK. How much does a batch of lentils cost or even chicken. This is such a non-cost bullshit reason.

Wow, you had time to cook lentils and stuff from scratch while feeding and looking after a newborn?!

You should thank your lucky stars. You had it easy. You were lucky.

Not everyone does.

Those of us with reflux babies with latch problems who feed endlessly round the clock do NOT have time to tit-arse around with lentils. We're lucky if we get to grab something out of the fridge or stuff something in the microwave for 4 minutes. Chances of eating it hot, mind-you, are minimal.

Why are you finding it so hard to grasp that your experience is not universal and that others have it different?

And if we'd been prepared for problems with BFing we could have cut costs by buying secondhand or spreading costs over weeks during pregnancy. Instead of having to rush out and acquire a pump, bottles etc as an emergency.

We borrowed a steriliser initially from a friend and then I bought a microwave one for £5 from FB Marketplace and sold it again for £5 once we'd finished with it.

The bottles have been used ever since - they are great for taking milk to work for hybrid working!

I did have family support that normalised BFing, albeit not local. It was zero help - all I got was a copy of The womanly art of BFing as a present when pregnant (a dreadful book which just made me feel like crap) and encouragement to keep on BFing when I rang distraught at my baby's non-stop BFing (baby readmitted seriously ill with dehydration the next day).

While this is true, none of the above are strictly necessary. Obviously, formula is an absolute necessity if that is the way a baby is being fed. The breast is the only strictly necessary thing for BF babies, the rest are just add-ons. Choices.

I'm not sure how much of a 'choice' it is to buy Lansinoh and nipple shields if your baby has a TT and your nipples are shredded to kingdom come. I suppose you have the choice to do that, or say 'fuck this' and switch to formula instead. Just carrying on bf in agony isn't going to be feasible for most, though.

@Survivingmy3yearold

I breast fed DD1 until 14 months and am still feeding DD2 who is 15 months. For me the cost absolutely was a factor, but there were also several other factors, including convenience, not having to faff with bottles in the night and the health benefits for both myself and DDs. I was very fortunate to have an amazing SIL who had breastfed 2 children and was a wealth of useful advice and helped me to know what was normal. I did buy bottles for DD1 which she used when older, but this would have been a cost with formula feeding anyway. I also enjoy the time I've spent feeding them, and I'm unsure how much of a difference in time there is between the two when you consider the time spent sterilising, cooling boiled water, buying/replacing the bits needed and organising everything to have it ready to take it out with you.

Perfect Prep - a lifesaver for those formula feeding - makes life so easy