It's an inheritance one, who is right here?

[anotherinheritanceq]

This one is more about what's morally right than legalities iyswim, hence why I'm posting here.

So someone I know has assets over half a million, not sure on figure but I know she owns her big house outright and has money in the bank etc. She has children from previous marriage, and she is engaged to her partner who also has children. He can't work and doesn't have any assets, he's on disability benefits. Obviously when marrying what's hers is his, fair enough.

However they've been talking about things including wills, and basically it's come up that if she were to die first (and naturally he would inherit the whole lot), once he dies he would pass everything including the house onto his children and not a penny for his wife's children. Of course she says that's not fair that her children would get nothing if she happens to die first, all her children grew up in that home etc. He argues that everyone puts their own children first and it'll be the only opportunity of giving anything to his children because of his disability/not being able to work.

Who is being unreasonable? What's the done thing in these situations?

I know she is now on about writing a will to leave something to her kids but obviously she can't leave her partner homeless and penniless!

She’s a terrible mother if she’s even considering marrying him after this. I wouldn’t blame you even a tiny bit for cutting her off. What on Earth kind of parent would knowingly marry someone who has openly stated they will keep all HER (not their) assets from her children. Seriously, you must be utterly heartbroken. It’s not grabby because it’s not the money it’s the principle. To my dying breath I will protect the interests of my children not basically hand over all my assets to my step children in front of their faces.

personally i wouldnt be marrying him at all if i was her , hes not exactly considerate to her kids , if she does she needs to see a really good soliciter to make it so her money goes where she wants it too if she goes first

Go with your muck to a solicitor and help her see sense!

Do not let her do her own will using internet forms or something. Book an appointment with a solicitor and go and see them to sort it out.

He can be left something. But you and your siblings get the lion's share.

Really though, I suggest that she sells the house and put money into trusts for her grandchildren and you and your siblings etc. Offload what she doesnt need now.

I know someone whose mother died and her stepmother even got her mother’s silver which her mother had meant her to have. It won’t just be the house and money her own children wouldn’t get.

You need to be careful she doesn't put the house into joint names as joint tenants - that way it would automatically go to him and not even form part of her estate.

So what does she actually say when you point out you’ll be left with nothing?

Was some of that money your dads? How would he feel about his children getting nothing?

Why da feck, would you marry a man on a disability pension only (nothing wrong inherently in that, but clearly will not be contributing to the household) and then just roll over and give him all your assets, knowing he will then pass them on to his children? Of course she can protect them, and have them passed to her children. If she's choosing not to, then she's an idiot and I don't blame him for taking it all if she's stupid enough to hand it all over unchecked.

Well she can simply give him the right to reside in the property until he dies ( or needs full time care) then house is dold and goes to her children. This is what most people in this situation do!!

He really sounds like a piece of work!

What does your mum say about his attitude @anotherinheritanceq?

@timeisnotaline

She should absolutely never marry him! I’ve told my dh that if I died then I expect him to have transferred half the house to a trust for the dc before moving someone in or marrying them, he’s completely on board with this and this is my husband and their father. If she can marry him knowing he would not only disinherit her children but thinks that’s a perfectly normal thing to do then I’d lose all respect for her.

I wouldn't rely on this. Make the provision in your own will yourself for your kids.

Once you are gone you're gone, and when your partner is in a new relationship it's easy for them to be turned.

She would be bonkers to marry such a man. But if she does, she has no obligation to leave him all her assets. Whether or not she marries him, if he is dependent on her for a home and daily living costs (ie if she supports him financially) then he could make a claim against her estate if he isn't left some portion of the legacy but it doesn't have to be everything.

It's perfectly ok for wills to leave everything to the children but with the surviving spouse having a life interest in the property and possibly also some capital funds so that the surviving partner can continue to enjoy the assets for the time being but can't disinherit the children. Or she can choose to leave a specific sum to him and the rest to her children, it really is her choice. But marrying a man who is actively intending to cut off her children if he gets a chance is just idiotic.

Prenups are valid in, well, England anyway. The Supreme Court has issued guidance on them, so things like both parties to have had independent legal advice, not to prejudice children (not sure if that's limited by considerations of age), to have been concluded a certain amount of time before the marriage, to protect people from being ambushed into one at the last minute I suppose.

This friend needs a will to provide for her own kids should the couple die together. Her kids should benefit with his kids getting a proportion of anything left.

What happens if the husband inherits some money and a house with the caveat that it then goes to the wife's children after he dies. Can the husband sell the house/spend the money and still leave the kids with nothing? How do you ensure it is protected - I mean truly protected?

You cannot have the husband inherit the house with a caveat that he must pass it on to the children. If he inherits, he has the right to dispose of the property as he pleases in his lifetime or (with some limitations) in his will (if he doesn't have a will, and presumably then no spouse, his children would get it automatically).

What you can do is leave it to the children with the husband having a liferent/life interest. He can then use the property during his lifetime, but does not have ownership rights and cannot sell or transfer it. For the children, it's essentially a delayed inheritance.

She could not marry him, she could also write a Will after marriage (had to be after otherwise not valid) leaving the house to her children but giving him lifetime residency. She needs proper legal advice though to ensure it's not challenged

The DH is delusional to think his off spring are more entitled than hers. If he hasn’t provided, then why should the womens own children get nothing.

Write the will to explicitly share how the Lady divides her estate.

The Partner may have a life use of the estate,
The estate and property to maintained in her personal estate & held in trust until partners death.
Funds to be set aside to maintain the house in good order & repairs, due to disabilities, and the estate to remain in trust for the x named children to be shared as follows .. ” the asset can be distributed then, failing death, inheritance taxes

@Hercisback

She should not marry him!

This.

@TrufflesAndToast

She’s a terrible mother if she’s even considering marrying him after this. I wouldn’t blame you even a tiny bit for cutting her off. What on Earth kind of parent would knowingly marry someone who has openly stated they will keep all HER (not their) assets from her children. Seriously, you must be utterly heartbroken. It’s not grabby because it’s not the money it’s the principle. To my dying breath I will protect the interests of my children not basically hand over all my assets to my step children in front of their faces.

She's really not a terrible mum though and I won't be cutting her off. This is a bad decision on her part to marry him yes, but this has caused an argument between them and she wants to protect her assets for her children now. It doesn't change how she is or has been as a mother to me.

Wow, how can she not see that he has basically told her, to her face, that he sees her as a meal ticket/cash cow?!
She needs a cast-iron will, not an internet-dealy. She can absolutely write him out but I would look into a way of specifying this as he could contest it and that can be a long drawn out and expensive process of he said-she said.

There is a really easy solution here. Mum writes a will with a life interest trust in it for some or all of her assets. This means that hubby to be gets the benefit of using the assets eg the house and gets the income from the assets but never owns them. When he dies, it passes to mum's children. In essence he gets to use the assets during his life with the children inheriting at a later stage and protected from disinheritance. Everyone is looked after.

We have freedom of testamentary capacity in this country. She can leave her estate to whoever she wants. He can challenge it on her death if he felt he should have been provided for.

She can leave her estate on trust where he receives income from her some or all of her assets for the rest of his life and then her children get the capital on her death. That's what I'd do.

I was the wife's child in this scenario. It made losing my parent in tragic circumstances so much more traumatic than it should have been. I'll never forget how I was treated

if she owed the house and had the money before he moved in and married he doesnt automatically get it. she can leave the house and money to her kids and they can in turn turf him out and leave him with nowt. however on the ground that he wouldnt give the house to her kids in the first instance i would no continue a relationship with this person never mind marry him.

I hope she doesn't marry him. What a loser he is.

I’m not sure on the legalities if someone is married but there is such a thing as willing someone a lifetime interest in the house. So he would be able to continue to live in the house until his death , then it would pass on to her beneficiaries.