It's an inheritance one, who is right here?

[anotherinheritanceq]

This one is more about what's morally right than legalities iyswim, hence why I'm posting here.

So someone I know has assets over half a million, not sure on figure but I know she owns her big house outright and has money in the bank etc. She has children from previous marriage, and she is engaged to her partner who also has children. He can't work and doesn't have any assets, he's on disability benefits. Obviously when marrying what's hers is his, fair enough.

However they've been talking about things including wills, and basically it's come up that if she were to die first (and naturally he would inherit the whole lot), once he dies he would pass everything including the house onto his children and not a penny for his wife's children. Of course she says that's not fair that her children would get nothing if she happens to die first, all her children grew up in that home etc. He argues that everyone puts their own children first and it'll be the only opportunity of giving anything to his children because of his disability/not being able to work.

Who is being unreasonable? What's the done thing in these situations?

I know she is now on about writing a will to leave something to her kids but obviously she can't leave her partner homeless and penniless!

She can always give him a lifetime interest in the house so he’s not homeless and a small amount of cash. If I were her I’d do something like that. So, lifetime interest to him plus say £25k cash. Then the house to be sold on his death and the proceeds to go to her children. I’d hate to think that if I died, my son might not end up with anything and it could go to the children of some other woman I don’t even know if DH remarried 😂

@Precipice

Okay, thank you for this explanation, that was probably my fault for assuming you naturally inherit everything as a spouse! We are in England.

My advice is to walk away.

Any person who would actually say this is quite something. Whilst I understand he is disabled that is not the fault of her own children. He just sounds grabby and selfish. I’d be embarrassed if my father tried to pull this stunt - I couldn’t /wouldn’t accept.

To be honest I think it should all go to her children and any assets post marriage shared split. Presumably his children have a mum with a house etc and will get that. I wouldn't even expect it to be split equally.

My IL have their home tenants in common and a particular pre agreed split to his and her children with him having the right to live in there for as long as he would like and vice Versa.

Speak to a solicitor about life interest trust for the family home

@IBloodyLoveMichaelJackson

What's the done thing??? Blast this fucking freeloading LOSER straight into outer space and leave him there!! Jeez!

Honestly the bare faced cheek of the man. Also how can you marry a man who has just shown total disregard for your children?

Relationships can fail but your children will always be your children.

She must really hate being alone, to even consider this man.

He is not her last chance at happiness and she must bin him asap and move on. Then it will just be a bad dream she woke up from, instead of the permanent nightmare their marriage would be.

If she is going to marry him anyway, she could choose to leave her house to her children, but give him the right to live in it for his lifetime, (think it's called a lifelong interest). After his death the house still belongs to her children and they are free to do what they want with it.

If she doesn't make a will, then it all goes to him and he chooses what happens next.

But the very fact that he openly states that he would leave her house to his children, and not even give her children a look-in, is a very good reason to reconsider actually marrying him.

She needs to leave the house to her kids, adding a caveat that he can stay until such as time that he marries or moves a partner in to the house. A condition of his staying in the house it that he maintains it.

She needs a solicitor and a good will. Her assets such as the house for his lifetime only, then to the kids. In many countries even without a will the dh would get bugger all, her property would automatically go to her children. But yes, I would not marry someone with that attitude.

In her situation, I wouldn’t marry.

If I did, I would make sure my will directed all my assets directly to my own DC.

I can't believe she would marry someone who has such little disregard for her kids.

The best thing he did was be honest about his intentions up front. She definitely needs to stay clear of marrying him! Hope you can convince her to protect her children's inheritance!

People remarrying later in life usually leave their assets to their own children. She would be mad to marry this man unless she is not bothered he claims her money and property when she dies.,

To all the people telling me not to marry him, please take comfort in knowing that I am not the one engaged to this man!

She needs to get a will ASAP and ot marry this guy.

If she is feeling particularly kind she can speak to a solicitor about leaving a life interest for him so that he can live in the house but it stays in her childrens name.

People who plan to remarry in her situation should put a lot of her assets in a trust. It can specify that the house her and her husband stay in (assuming it’s all her asset) will be used by him until his death if she should die first. After that it is passed onto the children.

After marriage she can make a new will leaving x amount to hubby and x to her children and add stipulations to be discussed with her solicitor.

The only good thing about this situation is that hes said this before they got married

I can't believe I just read that

If she can't see that massive red flag in front of her I would advise her to have counselling. Her poor children, why would you not put them first?

At least he is stupid enough to be honest about what he would do. He could have lied to her and said he would leave an equal amount to her children.

She needs to provide for her children before she dies as he cannot trust him.

She could leave the house to her children but allow him to live in the house until he dies.

He is being not only unreasonable but a thief.

She would be mad to marry him imo.

If she does she should leave everything in trust to her children, with some of her money to him. Or something like that.

if she were to die first (and naturally he would inherit the whole lot)

No ‘naturally’ about it!

Why on earth would any parent leave their own offspring to the mercy of a step parent, especially one who is so blatant?

IF she insists on marrying him she should leave all her estate to her children, but with a lifetime interest in the house to her husband. Then if he marries again or when he dies her kids get the house.

This is a normal arrangement.

BUT she should talk carefully to a lawyer because if his disability makes him dependent on her he could challenge the Will.

@Porfre

The only good thing about this situation is that hes said this before they got married

Yes, at least if she does go ahead with marrying him, she can be fully prepared and put all the right things in place. Rather than marrying him and being none the wiser and having him do this anyway. Although obviously better solution would be to not marry him, but I can't stop her!

My MIL is in this position. She won't marry her DP in case this happens.

Not sure of the legalities of it but apparently they have a legal agreement that he can stay in the home until he dies then it must be sold and proceeds given to DH and DSis.

FWIW he says he has no intention of leaving any to his DC's as they are estranged and has no right to MIL's money.

Pretty sure that if he had the attitude that the man in the OP has, she would dump him pronto.