It's an inheritance one, who is right here?

[anotherinheritanceq]

This one is more about what's morally right than legalities iyswim, hence why I'm posting here.

So someone I know has assets over half a million, not sure on figure but I know she owns her big house outright and has money in the bank etc. She has children from previous marriage, and she is engaged to her partner who also has children. He can't work and doesn't have any assets, he's on disability benefits. Obviously when marrying what's hers is his, fair enough.

However they've been talking about things including wills, and basically it's come up that if she were to die first (and naturally he would inherit the whole lot), once he dies he would pass everything including the house onto his children and not a penny for his wife's children. Of course she says that's not fair that her children would get nothing if she happens to die first, all her children grew up in that home etc. He argues that everyone puts their own children first and it'll be the only opportunity of giving anything to his children because of his disability/not being able to work.

Who is being unreasonable? What's the done thing in these situations?

I know she is now on about writing a will to leave something to her kids but obviously she can't leave her partner homeless and penniless!

That said a prenup will not protect her well if his disabilities are extensive/ he cannot work and has children he cannot support. The courts prioritize need, and may well over rule it if he challenges it, which he would, based on his own testimony.

Really anything you can do to get her to not marrry I would do!!! For her sake. She sounds vulnerable and he sounds like a total shit - even besides the issue of her losing her financial security.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them!!! Get rid of this cocklodger!😨

He sounds like he has no perception of reality or fairness.

I wonder how a marriage can work with such obvious differences in lifestyle.

She needs to see a lawyer. Leave everything in trust for her children. He can live in the house until he dies but doesn't get a penny.

They can split ownership of the house as soon as they marry, to become tenants in common (if they don't do this, each kind of entirely owns 100% as 'joint tenants'). She can leave her 50% to you guys.

It's very easy and not expensive.

I'm sorry, this is awful. It reminded me of whar happened after Linda Bellingham died. Basically she left everything to her 3rd husband, expecting him to provide for her 2 sons but he has stiffed them.

willwritten.com/legacy-advice/lynda-bellinghams-sons-betrayed-as-feared

The other, even worse thing your situation made me think of is writer Helen Bailey. She was a lonely widow when she met a new man, who fot his feet under the table and then murdered her for money.

I'm sure this sort of thing is very rare but if I were living with a man as morally bankrupt as your mum's bloke sounds, I would be very worried.

"As the prime beneficiary of Ms Bailey's will, he stood to inherit the bulk of her fortune - thought to be more than £3.3m at the time of her death."

"When she was found in a cesspit three months later, tests revealed she had been systematically drugged over a period of time before finally being suffocated."

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-38505358

An alternative to pre-nups is for her to transfer assets to you and your siblings now with her having a life interest. This would mean you owned her house, but she was entitled to live in it until death. It would be interesting to tell him she planned to do this and see whether he still wants in.

She needs to get this sorted and either leave the house to her kids ir to them in trust after he dies.
But actually, she shouldn’t marry him at all. He sounds like a right shit.

The parents of a friend of mine split up when she was a teenager as her dad had an affair. He went to live with the other woman and a few years later they married.

Thirty years later he was terminally ill. On his deathbed he was asking his children to bring his chequebook in so he could write them cheques but they couldn't get it as it was at home with the 2nd wife. He died and the wife inherited everything.

Maybe there was a will splitting it more evenly but his children weren't aware of it. Maybe his will left everything to his wife (who seemed quite domineering when I met her) and he always planned to pre empt it by give away his assets when dying but if so he left it too late.

What happens if they marry then divorce? He could potentially walk off with half the money anyway, and he sounds like the kind of man who would, particularly being a twat and having to income of his own.

@TestingTestingWonTooFree

An alternative to pre-nups is for her to transfer assets to you and your siblings now with her having a life interest. This would mean you owned her house, but she was entitled to live in it until death. It would be interesting to tell him she planned to do this and see whether he still wants in.

He probably would still want in as he gets to go from a life on disability benefits to a life on whatever disability benefits he doesn't lose by having a wealthier spouse PLUS a top up of spending coming from his wife's income and assets. So better housing, food, holidays, less money stress etc.

if he is persuasive he could improve his standard of living quite considerably. The chance to help set his kids up is just the cherry on top of the cake.

@anotherinheritanceq has your mother and fiancé looked into what if any benefits he will lose by officially gaining a partner. She could find he becomes financially dependent on her which might mean she has to work longer to get the retirement she wants and would have implications if they were to divorce as well.

Please note that marriage invalidates a will - so you need to renew your will after any marriage!!

He's said it himself, everyone puts there own children first!! So that's exactly what she should do!! If she really does want to leave him something spilt it 3 ways (which is fair and he can hardly contest that can he) but for him to say that shows he doesn't care shit for her kids!! Which shows lack of respect for her, bit of a leech really

OP be careful about a pre nup. I read somewhere that one can contest it in court if married for a substantial amount of time. I think you need to show your mum this thread. She needs to put her children first. I am sorry but she cannot leave her money to a despicable person ( sorry, but from what I have read, he is not a catch!) And he comes across as a gold digger. It sounds hard but I think you'll need to influence her somehow, despite of how it looks. Dont let this go without a fight.

Pre nups are taken into account by the courts but not legally binding in the UK, and each party needs their own independent legal advice before signing.

Pre nups are also only relevant if they divorce, not if someone dies.

In spite of all that, I think it would be a very good idea for her to get one.

Can she transfer the house in trust to her children now whilst alive. So when she dies, it will belong to her children? Please seek legal advise

Why would anyone want to marry a lowlife that is openly saying they will give everything to their children and not the wife children

@watchingrnfire

Why would anyone want to marry a lowlife that is openly saying they will give everything to their children and not the wife children

I dont understand that either!! Surely at her age, she should know better.

I assume the OP has already gently expressed concerns to her mother that this man may be marrying her for her money.

OP: What's this got to do with you? Did you ask these people for permission to post this?

As for the rest of you that have leapt to conclusions and posted vile comments about someone you don't know, with next to no details of the background and full circumstances...shame on you

@SwoopingDown

OP: What's this got to do with you? Did you ask these people for permission to post this?

The OP is the daughter of the bride to be so is the one set to not inherit what her parents worked for so that people she barely knows can be given the inheritance.

@SwoopingDown

As for the rest of you that have leapt to conclusions and posted vile comments about someone you don't know, with next to no details of the background and full circumstances...shame on you

@Anotherinheritanceq I think you might have been outed here.

That wasn't mentioned in the first post, and I haven't read the full thread so thanks for the info. Now the bias is obvious, but there is still so too much info missing to enable a fair judgement of the situation.

She's a very poor judge of character!

@SwoopingDown

That wasn't mentioned in the first post, and I haven't read the full thread so thanks for the info. Now the bias is obvious, but there is still so too much info missing to enable a fair judgement of the situation.

But there's still enough detail provided in the OP's posts to point out the risks to her mother's assets.

You must agree that no kind hearted, fair man would say he'd give his wife to be's assets to his own kids and forget about the kids whose parents actually earned those assets?