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to think I can't call the police 5 times a day?
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FeckingOvaries · 27/01/2022 18:36

My female neighbour is being severely abused in the form of verbal abuse by her partner. Sometimes they go got days without shouting. Some days he screams at her so loud that my son can hear it. He's only three. I've called the police twice on one day on occasions. Don't know what else I can do. Sometimes he's screaming about how he's going to kill her up to five-ten times a day for days on end. She sounds terrified. I live alone with my toddler. I can't move house as this is secure and the housing prices around here are preventing me being able to move from where I am. At what point do I stop calling the police? Am I morally expected to phone every time he's screaming? Even if it is numerous times a day for 2 weeks straight? What am I meant to do here?

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MissConductUS · 27/01/2022 18:37

Are the police coming around to talk to her after you call?

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NeedAHoliday2021 · 27/01/2022 18:39

Log everything. Dates, times, what you heard.

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FeckingOvaries · 27/01/2022 18:39

@MissConductUS

Are the police coming around to talk to her after you call?

Yes they are and she denies everything. I believe they've even taken him away before but I'm not 100% sure.
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steppemum · 27/01/2022 18:39

I would call the non emergency line and ask them exactly this question.

You have 2 concerns 1 = the woman's welfare and the threatening behaviour
2= your concern for yourself and your child living next to this.

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StellaGibs · 27/01/2022 18:39

What are the police doing? Can you question their lack of response if thats the case? Record some of it? I presume you told them he said hed kill her?

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MayThePawsBeWithYou · 27/01/2022 18:40

How awful for her, do the police come out to check on her, have you got his threats recorded.

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FeckingOvaries · 27/01/2022 18:40

@NeedAHoliday2021

Log everything. Dates, times, what you heard.

I can't. I don't have the time or energy. It would literally take over my life. That sounds horrifically insensitive but it's all day every day sometimes. I do log things and have tried recording it but my phone is useless. It's also triggering for me having been abused in a similar way.
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DaffodilDandilion · 27/01/2022 18:41

DP works as a police call handler, he says keep on calling, every single time.

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Isaw3ships · 27/01/2022 18:41

Call them and keep calling them. Is there any way you can speak to her? Get her info re women’s refuge etc? Encourage her to speak to family or friends if she can?
The police have the power of arrest and prosecution now even if the victim won’t press charges they can.

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Isaw3ships · 27/01/2022 18:42

The police will take you seriously you keep calling.

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YouCantTourniquetTheTaint · 27/01/2022 18:43

Can you record him shouting? It's not pleasant however unless the police have evidence from her confirming the abuse or you recording it as proof, I'm not sure what they can do?!

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RedCandyApple · 27/01/2022 18:43

I wouldn’t call multiple times a day could end up looking malicious if they are denying it, I would call once and leave it up to them.

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FeckingOvaries · 27/01/2022 18:43

It would literally take over my life though. Imagine being a lone parent to a toddler having to call police at 9am, 11am, 12, 1, 7, midnight etc because they just don't stop. Sorry if I sound awful but this is affecting my mental health. I'm concerned for her. I'm concerned for my son. I'm just do exhausted by it and I'm sure she is too. I think going to go to my local station tomorrow and have a word.

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RedCandyApple · 27/01/2022 18:43

As in once whenever it happens and not multiple times a day

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SomePosters · 27/01/2022 18:44

Please keep calling

My neighbour saved my life and probably my babys too

We are fine now btw but I will be eternally grateful that my neighbour kept calling

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FeckingOvaries · 27/01/2022 18:45

@Isaw3ships

Call them and keep calling them. Is there any way you can speak to her? Get her info re women’s refuge etc? Encourage her to speak to family or friends if she can?
The police have the power of arrest and prosecution now even if the victim won’t press charges they can.

Definitely not going to do that. They know I've called before. He knows I live alone with my toddler. I am too anxious to approach her.
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FeckingOvaries · 27/01/2022 18:45

Basically I need to call the police every morning then, which I can do. Its draining but I can and will do it. I. Just so tired and triggered.

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myyellowcar · 27/01/2022 18:46

Look OP, if I were you, I’d step back and I certainly wouldn’t be ringing the police each time. If you get involved in this and report each and every incident it’s going to take over your life. And for what? You are the one who will end up stressed out in your own home and you are not responsible for other adults.

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IzzyD0ra · 27/01/2022 18:49

I would only call everyday if I was sure that no harm would come to me or my child because of it.

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Laurelon · 27/01/2022 18:50

@FeckingOvaries record it on your phone is possible, then email or text the recording to yourself so that it is time and date stamped, logging who is shouting at who. You can then submit these audio files to the police potentially. It may also be worth talking to Women's Aid

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PollyGray · 27/01/2022 18:50

Would you feel ok to make a safeguarding adults call to social services?
They can carry out an assessment of risk for Domestic Abuse and then make a MARAC referral - even if the woman minimises the situation, the decision is also based on professional judgment.

Could you try that? And also, as PP have said, keep phoning the Police.

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Laurelon · 27/01/2022 18:51

It may also be worth talking to your health visitor, telling them that the screaming frightens your child, sending them your audio recordings, as they may be able to make a safeguarding referral to get the lady some help

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ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 27/01/2022 18:52

See if you can record a particularly bad incident on your phone and give that to the police so they have clear proof maybe?

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StrongTea · 27/01/2022 18:54

Are you the only neighbour who hears this?

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Wendybyrdesmissingconscience · 27/01/2022 18:55

You need to ring every single time it happens. Also can you record them on your phone. That would be good evidence.

Please don’t ignore it.

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