to think I can't call the police 5 times a day?

[FeckingOvaries]

My female neighbour is being severely abused in the form of verbal abuse by her partner. Sometimes they go got days without shouting. Some days he screams at her so loud that my son can hear it. He's only three. I've called the police twice on one day on occasions. Don't know what else I can do. Sometimes he's screaming about how he's going to kill her up to five-ten times a day for days on end. She sounds terrified. I live alone with my toddler. I can't move house as this is secure and the housing prices around here are preventing me being able to move from where I am. At what point do I stop calling the police? Am I morally expected to phone every time he's screaming? Even if it is numerous times a day for 2 weeks straight? What am I meant to do here?

[Chloemol]

Record it when it starts. Call the police, every single time

[Iguessyourestuckwithme]

Yup. Did it several times a week in my last flat. Each time police came out and she took him back. I'm only glad that I was home the day he raped her because when it went to trial I sat in the witness box and he was sent to jail.

[Redglitter]

I wouldn't call numerous times a day, especially if rheyve been out several times and she denies everything. Its going to look like you're making mal calls unfortunately and it'll get that they won't respond. And also that can also affect your credibility as a reporter. Mal calls from neighbours about neighbours are not unusual & you don't want this being looked at like that when the time may come when things escalate. There's only so much you can.do but I definitely wouldn't call every single time. This kind of situation is very difficult for both you & the Police

It might be worth phoning your local community officer for advice. Ideally you want someone coming out when it's happening so they're witnessing it and can act without her cooperation if necessary or as pp said record it so you can let the police hear what's happened

If you do keep phoning acknowledge the fact you're feeling you have to phone regularly because you have a genuine concern for her.

I know probably people will totally disagree with me but as a Police Despatcher I know the things we look at when a call comes in & we assess it to decide what happens next

[Santahasjoinedww]

The more calls you make the faster it will end...
If you don't call the ending may be of a different kind...

[Sirzy]

Are there any children in her house?

If she isn’t ready to ask for help then sadly no matter how much you ring nothing will probably change but at least it’s on record.

[Danikm151]

I’m guessing because your housing is secure you’re either with a housing association or the council.
If you’re with a HA you can report the neighbours for DV if they’re in one of their houses they can intervene as it’s usually part of the tenancy. Safeguarding and noise issues

[AlDanvers]

Its difficult. Because I totally get that calling is impacting you.

But if you don't, you will still be sat there listening to it day in day out. If i were you, I would try and record it and keep calling because doing nothing wouldnt improve the situation either.

[NeverChange]

Record it and call every time.

It was the neighbours recordings and calls that assisted with the Kane Mitchell/Luci Smith and baby Teddie case.

Hopefully it doesn't come to that.

[RockerTheQuokka]

Anyone can make an adult safeguarding referral through your social service team (MASH or MARAC or LADO - the name changes have gotten confusing). Do that as well.

Do you have an old phone with recording capability? Stick that plugged in somewhere and record - then you can hand it over and you don't have to listen.

[toppkatz]

When I called about the screaming coming from a neighbour's house, the police came round on the quiet and hung around the corner waiting. When the screaming started up again, they went in. They told them that it had been someone walking past with their dog who had reported it.

[Wife2b]

Ask the police for advice on what to do if it’s repeated several times per day. It’s such a shit situation because if she isn’t prosecuting then the police’ hands are tied. Is it social housing? Could you report to the housing officer? I wonder if it carries on and she doesn’t do anything to stop it either eg call police/support prosecution whether it could be logged as anti social behaviour. Clearly she’s a victim but they doesn’t mean you should have to put up with the noise coming from their property if she isn’t willing to do anything about it either. Could you invite her round for a private chat and see if she needs any support leaving him?

[DoubleYouOhEmAyEn]

Safeguarding adults referral to the local authority , record what you can hear from your house.

[Bortles]

I would move. Never mind the affordability. A smaller, less pleasant place to live, a different area even would surely be better for you both.

[Brideandprejudice]

I wonder if the police would be willing to have someone wait in your home to hear it for themselves?

Probably not as I imagine they're tight on staff but if it really is all day every day then it wouldn't take long for them to hear it.

[Mangofandangoo]

Do keep calling. Threats to life are a criminal offence. Record it if you need to.

The police really will pay attention so please don't give up

[BunsOfAnarchy]

Keep calling. Don't stop. Tell the police its terrifying your child.
Tell the council and go into your call logs and maybe even send them the list of dates/times you've had to call.

[FeckingOvaries]

@Bortles

I would move. Never mind the affordability. A smaller, less pleasant place to live, a different area even would surely be better for you both.

Nevermind the affordability is a shit thing to say to someone in a precious council property they waited a LONG time for and is on a very low wage. I'm going to speak to police and adult safeguarding tomorrow. Thanks everyone.

[Northernparent68]

If she won’t cooperate the police can’t do anything

[Mangofandangoo]

@myyellowcar

Look OP, if I were you, I’d step back and I certainly wouldn’t be ringing the police each time. If you get involved in this and report each and every incident it’s going to take over your life. And for what? You are the one who will end up stressed out in your own home and you are not responsible for other adults.

I'm quite astounded that you would give this advice. Op I'm sorry but please don't listen to this.

[BoodleBug51]

I'd disengage, and start playing loud music when he kicks off.

You can lead a horse to water and all that...........

You can't make it stop. Only she can do that by leaving.

[WonderfulYou]

Honestly there is not a lot you can do.

My neighbours used to be like this and it was not possible to ring up every single time as it would be 10+ times a day.

I used to ring if it sounded like it was intensifying or if it was late at night.
He was the loud one so I always thought he was the problem until I found out she was physically violent towards him but he was all shouting.

I would ring when concerned but otherwise try not to worry too much.

[grey12]

@NeedAHoliday2021

Log everything. Dates, times, what you heard.

This

[Mangofandangoo]

@Northernparent68

If she won’t cooperate the police can’t do anything

Again this Isn't true. Christ people get your facts right.

[WonderfulYou]

I would move. Never mind the affordability.

If you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it.
I’m sure if OP could magic up money she would have done so already.

[Wreath21]

I agree with some PP that it might be worth trying other avenues of support such as social services or (if you're in a housing association) the housing management office. Unfortunately it is also likely, as some PP say, that you could be regarded as a malicious caller or at least a timewaster if your neighbour denies that it's happening.