to want Goosey Goosey Gander banned on the grounds of explicit violence?

[Theperfectmother]

"I took him by the left leg and threw him down the stairs"

I mean, it's not what I want little Peregrine to be hearing in a nursery rhyme. What do you lot think? Shall I delete it from his ipod? And what about Oranges and Lemons? It's okay until you get to the bit about chopping of your head - I think it may traumatise my little angel beyond redemption.

so, tell me, AIBU?

YABU. (I take it that this is tongue in cheek!)Nursery rhymes,fairy stories are proved to be good for children. The sad thing nowadays is that children start school without knowing nursery rhymes.

What about poor Humpty? Talk about lack of help and redemption. Even the Kings horses and all of his men couldn't sort it out. Doesn't bode well does it?

but if Humpty had stuck to a sensible, balanced diet, then he wouldn't have been so fat that he fell of the wall in the first place.

So it's his own fault

True... but if the only fruit you were offered was in a pie with fruit in it and that horrid kid from down the road had a filthy thumb in it... well you could understand the trauma and need to reach for the chocolate biscuits!

At least that woman who lives in a shoe has finally been reported to social services.

fair point, Mars, but he could have had some curds and whey, he didn't have to go straight for the easter eggs!

And yes, the woman in the shoe was reported to SS, who placed all seventeen children in foster care, most of them are ok but Jack is still in hospital after falling down and breaking his crown.

Does anybody know if the children who were row, row, rowing their boat gently down the stream had life vests on? I think we should be told.

I personally worry about those 3 mice. I mean it's bad enough having a physical impairment without the threat of homicidal farmers wives!

they would probably have been better off without their tails anyway. They could have pretended to be hamsters

Apparantly there was not a life vest in sight

...and i have also been told that those cheeky monkeys are still bouncing on the bed, despite numerous trips to a&e.

will they ever learn ...

Humpty is simply eggist and sizist
Goosy goosy ganger is anti catholic (clock that left leg)
Grand Old Duke of york, wedded to the military industrial complex
Ring a ring a Rosy shows scant regard for diversity in living things and shows little estime for the customs and life stye choices of Ysinia pestis
I saw a ship a sailing.....consumerist
Michael Finnegin.....beardist
and lets not even go near Jack Spratt!!!

Janitor - bloody hell, that's a really good point! What is with all the egg stuff then? Is it because of Alice Through the Looking Glass or does it pre-date that?

21 Century reworking of Mary had a Little Lamb

'A young person of the female gender was the possessor of a small immature ruminant of the species genus Ovis, whose outermost covering reflected all wavelengths of visible light with a luminosity equal to that of a mass of naturally occurring microscopically crystalline water. Regardless of the translational path chosen by the aforesaid young person, there was a 100% probability that the aforementioned ruminant would select the same pathway. '

Humpty Dumpty was in fact an unusually large canon which was mounted on the protective wall of "St. Mary's Wall Church" in Colchester, England. It was intended to protect the Parliamentarian stronghold of Colchester which was in the temporarily in control of the Royalists during the period of English history, described as the English Civil War ( 1642 - 1649). A shot from a Parliamentary canon succeeded in damaging the wall underneath Humpty Dumpty causing the canon to fall to the ground. The Royalists 'all the King's men' attempted to raise Humpty Dumpty on to another part of the wall but even with the help of ' all the King's horses' failed in their task and Colchester fell to the Parliamentarians after a siege lasting eleven weeks.

I read a wierd book once which claimed to have the real stories behind nursery rhymes and songs.

Basically, according to the author, each and everyone was about sex and were 'courting' games...

You don't wanna know about Little Miss Muffit....

Well I head that humpty dumpty was Cardinal Wolsey, sitting on the wall (or fence) between Henry VIII and the Pope, then he had a great fall (from grace) and all the kings horses and all the kings men came to get him to take him back to London to be executed but he died on the way, and they couldn't put him back together again (or something like that)

And what about the little piggies? Isn't the house made of bricks a bit crowded with all three of them there... shouldn't the other two be given a council flat?

Isn't Goosey Gander about Catholics or something, from the days when the Pope was sponsoring Catholic invasions of England?

At least the Grand Old Duke of York made sure none of his soldiers were placed in any danger. Probably won an award for health and safety!

Goosy goosy is deffo an anti catholic rhyme

Where shall I wander (seaching for 'papists')
'here I saw an old man who wouldn't say his prayers (Priest in hiding)
'Left leg' 'Left footer' etc

Well tpm... what do you think to the punishment that was meted out to the Piper's son?

Jach Orner was ther RH man of ther bishop of glastonbury and they were involved in some dodgy propert delings

The deeds to 12 manor estates were hidden in a pie (as you do ) to keep them, safe from thieves (because if you were looking for important docs, then a pie would be the last place you's look really)

Th plum was the deeds for the manor of Mells in Somerset, which was the best of the 12.

Or something like that

aah, is that why the four and twenty blackbirds were hidden in a pie as well?

And if you really want to know, the piper's son stole a pig! And he didn't even stick around, away he ran. So he deserved everything he got, my perfect little Peregrine would never steal a pig and away run

YABU. It is a nursery rhyme and children won't even think about it being violent.

I think it's rather excessive to have four and twenty blackbirds in your pie, unless of course it's a mahoosive pie that is meant for the New Year's street party.

And I can't be doing with that black wool. Why can't the sheep produce a nice bright pink or a lovely bright yellow. Far too many dark colours in winter imho!