DH work from home announcement

[fizzypop100]

I have told DH my feelings on him WFH. He's been at home last 2 years and I can't stand it any more. Said there needs to be some compromise, just one or two days a week in the office.
He's just been speaking to his team leader and asked to WFH for the foreseeable future. I have just told him he's being selfish. His answer was "my mental health". I told him it's affecting MY mental health.
This house is totally dominated by his work. He will not move his computer and desk out of the living room. School holidays are miserable as our teenage son can't do anything as dad is working in the living room.
I'm being an adult right now but can feel anger and tears building up.

@fizzypop100 if he wants to be wired he can get these

www.argos.co.uk/product/5742734?istCompanyId=a74d8886-5df9-4baa-b776-166b3bf9111c&istFeedId=30f62ea9-9626-4cac-97c8-9ff3921f8558&istItemId=ixilqwtal&istBid=t&&cmpid=GS001&_$ja=tsid:59157%7cacid:804-627-9544%7ccid:9606825328%7cagid:101858977631%7ctid:aud-641224040337:pla-1141669897587%7ccrid:424817605179%7cnw:g%7crnd:16521414495161223014%7cdvc:m%7cadp:%7cmt:%7cloc:1006688&utm_source=Google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=9606825328&utm_term=5742734&utm_content=shopping&utm_custom1=101858977631&utm_custom2=804-627-9544&gclid=Cj0KCQiA_8OPBhDtARIsAKQu0gaxXblqtg5q-QUacXuYVWJpvEGSAaCp_h70wOhcIVLG0YZwW4VyJgEaAmucEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

One plugs into the router, one plugs in upstairs, that's how my husband has now moved into the attic as his work pc doesn't have WiFi :)

@fizzypop100

The spare room is packed full of his clutter

You have the time to focus on this and take charge Clear it Make it an office

I agree with PP's that he needs to create a home office in the spare room. Anything else is ridiculous if this is going to be a permanent arrangement. My DH has been WFH for two years and he's created an office upstairs. It's much better for him, tbh, as he can have meetings in peace and focus on his work. I have an office (with just me in it) a mile up the road and it's much better having my own space.

@fizzypop100

The spare room is packed full of his clutter

Then he gets off his arse;déposés of his clutter and turns the room into a home office.

@fizzypop100

The spare room is packed full of his clutter

If he insists on working from home then he needs to clear this space so that he can work there and not impact in the rest of the family by constantly occupying a communal space.

I’d give him a deadline to clear the spare room and get a desk sorted and if he doesn’t do it, have a skip arrive to chuck his clutter in myself.

Selfish twat.

Buying a range extender or a router mesh repeater is a lot cheaper than divorce.

learn opera & practices it - its for your mental health op & as you are learning you make mistakes (off key whoops!)

You are definitely not being unreasonable!! I was me furious! My husband has occasional work from home days and video meetings.
Our only computer is a desktop located downstairs, the layout is completely open plan, kitchen, living and dining. I am expected to take DD (17months) out, have her asleep or keep her quiet. The only reason I tolerate this is because we are moving house very soon. You need a long term plan, I agree with getting him in the spare room somehow

as a long standing WFH-er you need to tell him if he wants to be serious about doing it he needs dedicated space and attitude.
Wired connection - problem ethernet cables are dirt cheap or just bag a set of powerline adaptors for 20 quid.
Dedicated space - make one or buy one (like a shed office). For something long term you need to make some investment.
Dedicated furniture - absolute must. again make an investment. nice desk and office chair available at any budget plus quality ones available 2nd hand or even free.
clear boundaries

Move all his crap into the lounge. You can sit around it to watch TV. Clear the spare room. He’s being a total wanker. I can’t bare mine WFH but at least he’s in a separate room with a door that shuts. I swear this WFH nonsense has to stop or marriages are going to end

So he's been working in the lounge for the last two years?? I'd have buried him under the patio by now.

Ultimatum time: clear out the spare room, extend the wi-fi, he moves his desk upstairs and frees up the lounge for you and ds to live in.

What a selfish bellend.

Thing is he does know that it’s not fair, that there’s a room etc etc but he clearly wants to sit in the living room as king of the castle and will block any and all suggestions.
His employer should be ensuring he has a suitable place to work from home including all equipment of course but also suitably conducive to actual work. Im sure he feels able to confirm it’s quiet and no one can hear anything as he rules the roost but I wouldn’t really assume the front room with a stay at home partner and child are suitable- at the least it is unsuitable outside school hours. Is his employer aware of where he works from and how inappropriate it is to work and confidentiality? Be a shame if they found out 🤷🏼‍♀️

He has two choices. He either clears the spare room and works there or goes back to the office.
I would start to use the living room as it's intended purpose and live in it. Watch tv, let you ds play games or whatever he wants to do, hoover (if you want to) but don't tiptoe around him.
He is a selfish person to think he can take over the main living area to work and therefore need silence, when he has a perfectly good office and spare room.

If he works from home he sorts the spare room out and arranges for a phone connection in there. Problem solved.

Your husband is a selfish twat.

Absolutely no way.

It nearly killed my 26 year marriage DH working from home that first lockdown, I’ve always WFH and have been used to having the house to myself.

Suddenly he was there all the time, with all his equipment spread out on the dining table so the house a mess for months.

Talking loudly on calls, every time I turned around he would be there wondering what I was doing or eating.

Rubbing up the wool on the rug with his chair and leaning back on it so the back knackered.

Going out for mid day walks and boring me shitless with how many steps he had done.

Aggggh.

We laugh about it now, but at the time it was murder and I had my own office two floors above him. Communal areas like the living room and kitchen were free.

He was glad to go back to the office and I waved him off a little too enthusiastically.

He is being completely and utterly selfish and unreasonable to expect to monopolise the living room and even more so when he has a spare room.

Fuck that, if he didn’t clear it out I would and the power adapters would be unpacked and plugged in and all his equipment in situ when he came back from golf.

Seriously, this is not ok.

and this is why im sorry to say i find office workers so pathetic in their arguments to even leave the house to actually go to the office . i mean my mental health for gods sake , iv heard this argument before , is a nervous breakdown going to occur the minute their out the door

his shit needs to come out of the spare room so he can work in it and the rest of the house is free for the family to use without having to tippytoe around in silence , once hes closeted up in a room everyday for weeks on end he might even have a rethink about just how crap it is , you never know
but i wouldnt be just putting up with things the way they are though even if it meant a flaming row . if it came to it id be chucking all the stuff out and moving the office up there and if he walked out in a temper so be it , but its your home and life and your sons as well thats what you need to remember , its just not all about what makes him all happy and contented while everyone else is miserable

Hi @fizzypop100 your DH should not be working from the living room and his employers should not allow it as a status quo either. If he is going to be WFH long term he needs a setup that includes proper screens, keyboard, mouse, chair, appropriate environment etc.

I think it is unfair of him to WFH permanently if it's dominating the home space. We had a long period of time when wifi didn't work at the front of the house, and DH was often spending long periods looking for contracts in the open-plan back kitchen/reception, which totally dominated the family space during the holidays and was desperate for him to sort the wifi out. He did eventually and it was revolutionary for our home life!

But if your DH has nowhere else to be at home it's incompatible with family life him being there every day.

So he needs decent wifi, so try and sort that out. If not then he needs to work in the lounge. He is earning an income for your family not playing COD.
Does your ds not have a tv in his bedroom? Can you put a comfy chair in your bedroom. Your family is very fortunate to be able to wfh. It’s selfish to want your dh to waste time and money on a commute not to mention the covid risk.

He's being a selfish prick.

Just start using the living room as intended. Sit in there and watch tv. Do the hoovering. Get your son to do the same. DH can get off his lazy arse and sort himself out a proper office.

The spare room is packed full of his clutter

That's his weekend taken care of then.

I think you need to take things into your own hands here
Sort decent wifi
Tell “d” h that enough is enough and he can work from spare room from Monday
Either he spends the weekend decluttering or your take it to the tip foe him.

Go outside and rip the cables out of the phone socket. He'll have no choice other than to go back into the office and it may take ages to get fixed. Especially if you're out when they call to do it...............

Take some charge here, he's walking all over you.

I suggest he gets a shed and works in that

He's being wildly unreasonable