AIBU to go to friends wedding abroad on husbands milestone birthday?

[isitmean]

Close friend from school is getting married in Wales on the same day as my husbands milestone birthday.
Attending the wedding would mean paying for a trip abroad and we wouldn't be able to afford to also go away for his birthday or do something big on the day.
The wedding is in Wales (travelling from Ireland) so not a sun holiday. He doesn't know my friend that well, she isn't a joint friend. Am I being unreasonable to want to go?
School friends wedding vs big milestone birthday for DH...

To add, another friend and MIL have said I would be very unreasonable to go.

• * [Post edited by MNHQ for clarity - changed the first mention of 'France' to 'Wales'] **

Can you extend the wedding trip into a birthday trip?

I think YABU, sorry.

Can you and your DH both go, stay in a lovely hotel and do something for his birthday the day before or after? Make it a double celebration?

Yeah, I wouldn't be going unless DH is nonplussed by birthdays. So in saying that, I'm one of those nonplussed people so if DH asked if I minded if he went to a wedding on my milestone bday I'd be fine (asked, not informed).

YABu given you won’t be able to celebrate the birthday whilst there

Who is more important to you when it comes to it - there is your answer

What does he think about it?

Yabu, your husband is your priority, and family celebrations for your immediate family are a higher priority for spending money than a friends wedding that only one of you is bothered about.

I would be very upset if my DH did this to me. A normal birthday fair enough but a milestone is a bit different.

Is it France or Wales?
YANBU to want to go but I suppose it depends on how you and your husband normally would celebrate a milestone birthday. What does he think about you going?
Maybe you could make it a combined celebration trip?

YANBU.

Unless your husband is acting like a 5 year old because he won't get a birthday party?

Make the trip to Ireland a thing for his birthday too?

Your friend is getting married in France but the wedding will be in Wales?

Does your DH want to do something for his birthday? Does your DH know anyone at all that will be at the wedding? If I'm honest, I'd be a bit unhappy in your DH's position, though I get that others will feel differently.

I wouldn't be going unless my husband was happy to come and add a couple of days somewhere nice for his birthday. A stay in Portmeirion would do it if I was your husband.

So where does France come into it?

Does DH want to do something for his bday?
Can't you both go and extend trip to include celebrating his bday?

Is the wedding in France or Wales?

I'd be so hurt if DH did that but then birthdays do mean a lot to me.
It would depend on what your DH thought about it but I agree about extending the trip so you can try and do both

Is the wedding in France or Wales?

Only asking as you mentioned it being in both places and that would make a big difference to me as if in France I would turn it into a holiday with dh whilst there…

Id be hurt if dp did that.

I would be hurt in your DH’s place.

I’d rather the wedding if it were my birthday. Hate celebrating my birthday.

I’m totally confused, you’ve mentioned France, Wales and Ireland. Could you clarify about places and travel?

Wouldn't bother me at all (if I was your DH) but I'm not a big birthday fan anyway

It depends really on what birthdays normally mean to you both

Wales or France?
I'm confused

So sorry I will get it edited! I initially wrote a longer post which invoked France; I was thinking of taking him to France for Spain for his birthday which he'd much prefer to wales.

The wedding is in Wales, we live in Ireland.

Re how he feels. He isn't a big birthday person, doesn't like parties. He wouldn't know people at the wedding well.
I don't think he wants to go particularly but I think he would also feel bad saying so as he would feel bad about me missing it.

Whether France or Wales, I would aim to combine the two.

If absolutely impossible, then DH takes priority. Weddings are amazing and wonderful but you don't get much chance to actually talk to the bride or groom, so if your friend does live in another country (France/Wales?) and you don't see her often, I'd save up and aim to have a girls' weekend another time.

If budget wasn't the issue, I'd do the wedding and then do something for the milestone birthday another time. I don't see why people need to be precious about things being celebrated on the actual day when it might be more practical to pick a different date.

Is your DH bothered about having a 'milestone' birthday? (I hate that phrase anyway; it's just another birthday, but that's just me.)

What would he like to do for his birthday? Spend it with you, or spend it with a bunch of strangers he's never met? Have you asked him?

I think you should leave it up to him.