Children playing with water outside in this weather

[Dillpickles]

I received a text from nursery yesterday asking me to bring another coat, socks and shoes for DC to change into when I collect a pick up because the children were playing with water outside and got wet. I always include a spare outfit in DC' nursery bag IE pants, trousers and a top aswell as nappies and wipes but not a spare coat and shoes..

We're not a well off family. I'm a single parent on a zero hours contract so my DC don't own several coats and umpteen pairs of shoes. He has one all-weather coat, a couple pairs of trainers that he's growing out of and his new well fitting trainers that he had on. I don't scrimp when I buy his shoes and coats because I want them to last a good while.

I get there and he's in his spare outfit but his initial outfit is handed to me in a bag absolutely soaked through, as is his coat both inside and out. Dripping wet. His trainers were like bogs. It was as though he'd been jumping in a flipping lake not playing with water in a garden. I'm not exaggerating.

So he had to walk home in trainers that barely fit him anymore which caused a meltdown and made me feel terrible.

I was made to feel bad as though he should have lots of spare coats and trainers in the event of something like this happening. I don't know about you but I tend not to send him outdoors to play in water to this degree in the middle of winter..

His trainers don't let water in when simply walking in the rain or even jumping in the odd puddle so goodness knows what he was actually doing.

He does have a pair of wellington boots but he can't wear them. He's autistic with sensory issues.

AIBU to think the children shouldn't be outside getting soaked in water in the middle of winter when it's blistering cold, or am I just feeling defensive because it has highlighted that I'm an inadequate parent for not having plenty of coats?

@Tarttlet

I'm confused by the posters who think it's fine for children to get soaking wet outside when it's winter - would you all be happy to get your clothes soaked when it's cold? I wouldn't, and I spend a lot of time outdoors (yes, including in winter!)

I agree. We're told 'they enjoy it because they're children'. Most children do enjoy outdoor play in the cold but only when they're appropriately dressed and dry.

I think in some nurseries the staff don't seem able to manage constant outdoor provision for children particularly well. I've heard of nurseries which have essentially moved outdoors due to Covid but the children are only wearing their normal winter coats, no thermals or thick socks. It's fine for children to have constant access to outdoor play in winter but that does mean staff need to be monitoring them closely and checking for cold hands and feet. Cold children should be encouraged to come in to warm up. And of course the clothing required for children who are outdoors for hours at a time goes beyond that required when the children go to play in the park for an hour (where coat, hat, gloves is probably OK) before going back to a warm play room.

Actually, thinking about it, although children are out almost every day in the nurseries, I don’t think they would do water play at all in the winter as they would all get too cold too quickly.

So better let not kids out in the snow then, or are there different rules for that

Not let

@Dillpickles are you getting DLA for your little one ? If not this will help to buy the specialist clothing he needs.

I don't get DLA at the minute no, although I have been urged to apply for it as he should be entitled so that's something i will be doing.

I think playing in the snow is a bit different to being drenched head to toe in water isn't it? The coat he has wouldn't have been soaked through to that degree by playing in the snow even if he rolled in it (yes I am aware snow melts)

@Dillpickles

I don't get DLA at the minute no, although I have been urged to apply for it as he should be entitled so that's something i will be doing.

I think playing in the snow is a bit different to being drenched head to toe in water isn't it? The coat he has wouldn't have been soaked through to that degree by playing in the snow even if he rolled in it (yes I am aware snow melts)

Please do apply for DLA ,my son has been getting it since he was three ,if you are also in receipt of tax credits or universal credit DLA will affect it ,in a positive way .

I would not be happy about this as DC would get sore, chapped skin. I could afford more than one coat but why would I? Each child just has one the body to put a coat on!!

Please apply ASAP. It will help massively!

So better let not kids out in the snow then, or are there different rules for that

They can do but extremities must be well protected. It is actually dangerous to let children get wet and then cold for long periods - isn't character building or healthy. I would withdraw my DC from a nursery that thought getting wet and cold without proper protection was OK and also I wouldn't want this to be a daily activity, no.

Each child just has one the body to put a coat on!

Well you could say that about adults too but we don’t wear the same thing every day! Surely you need different coats for different occasions, toddler DD has a nice dressy coat for going out, a rain jacket, a waterproof puddle suit, a big warm every day coat and a lightweight jacket or two! I probably have about 7, I don’t wear the same coat over and over, so why would a child be any different!

I didn’t realise how lucky we are in that our nursery (school nursery) provides puddle suits, gloves and hats for all the kids. We have to send in wellies at the start of the year to stay in the classroom. And of course a spare set of clothes.

The kids do sometimes get wet and need their clothes changed, but I would not be impressed if they were completely soaking wet through. Especially shoes. I’m also surprised then didn’t have any spare shoes or coats/hoody at all. Maybe I’ve been really lucky but both this nursery and a private one we were at previously did have a supply of spares for this exact situation!

I imagine the other kids were in wellies, but if your DS won’t wear them then they should’ve discussed options with you so that he had spare shoes available for this exact situation

My DD is the same age and autistic. She loves water, it's one of her obsessions and as soon as she sees any, she's straight in there. It doesn't matter if it's a water tray, a puddle or even a bit of spilled water from a cup. She drinks from a sports cap water bottle as every open cup she has, she immediately tips out to make a puddle. She has a 1:1 in nursery but even so she's so quick that she's often knee deep in a puddle before anyone can stop her.

She has so many spare clothes at nursery now they could open a shop. I feel your pain OP. We had the same issue with her shoes as she went through a welly boot refusing stage. Luckily it was just before the summer and I managed to get her to take Crocs to nursery to wear in water. She will now tolerate wellies but it was hard going getting to that point. Before then I had to dry her shoes on the radiator or with a hairdryer and ended up getting her a load of secondhand trainers to wear.

I haven't got any real advice but just wanted you to know I feel your frustration I have been in the same (soaked) shoes.

PS OP if you have advice for getting my DD to tolerate gloves I would be all ears! We have cracked the wellies issue but absolutely no luck with gloves.

@Momicrone - the children play outside daily in the snow here. But waterproof snowsuits are good for snow for an hour or so, not actually submerged in water. If a child sat in a paddling pool in snowsuit they would be soaked pretty quickly, compared to playing in the snow in woods or playground

I also second the DLA application suggestion. We applied when DD was two and a half and it really helps with the extra costs of spare clothes/shoes/wellies/puddlesuits.

@Prinnny

Each child just has one the body to put a coat on!

Well you could say that about adults too but we don’t wear the same thing every day! Surely you need different coats for different occasions, toddler DD has a nice dressy coat for going out, a rain jacket, a waterproof puddle suit, a big warm every day coat and a lightweight jacket or two! I probably have about 7, I don’t wear the same coat over and over, so why would a child be any different!

Well lucky you that you can afford them all! My child who has autism constantly chews he's coats so they don't last long. He also toe walks so shoes don't last either!

The nursery I work in, provides waterproofs which are trousers and a poncho. They usually stay dry through all that. We have spare shoes and coats if we need to loan them out from parents handing in coats when their child outgrows them. We are short of clothing as parents haven't returned it.

But with the correct clothing there is no reason they can't play with water outdoors.

Lidl also have separate water proofs top and bottom. Think they are 6.99 each. The puddlesuit I have is age 4.or I'd send it to you. Tesco also have a massive sale on just now if you don't get in a charity shop. I always had spare coats but because between me and my sister's we all had boys within 6 months of each each time so there were 6 ranges of sizes. Pop a message on your FB page you'd suprised at how many people are happy to donate. I get the sensory shoe thing. Both my nephew's are autistic and one will barely even wear socks and shoes his feet are a mess. It's really difficult. Home start also might be local to you. Don't feel bad, honestly we all struggle at some point x

I think it’s reasonable to have a couple of waterproof coats and at least 2 well fitting pairs of shoes/trainers for a child at nursery (they’re very cheap to buy secondhand and don’t need to be immaculate for messy play).

My son often got his shoes and coat wet/muddy on the way home or in the nursery garden and there was no way I could wash and dry them by the next day, so he’d wear the other coat and shoes.

If he won’t wear wellies have you tried Baby Bogs or flexible type waterproof boots? A puddlesuit is also cheap and keeps a coat dry.

Lots of nurseries do nature walks, forest school and outdoor messy play (mud, water etc) so I think a spare coat and footwear is essential.

OP have you tried waterproof walking type boots? Several children with autism I have worked with will tolerate them better than wellies. They are a very different feel to wellies.
Not cheap but I have seen them on Facebook freebay sites and selling sites often.

@Prinnny

Each child just has one the body to put a coat on!

Well you could say that about adults too but we don’t wear the same thing every day! Surely you need different coats for different occasions, toddler DD has a nice dressy coat for going out, a rain jacket, a waterproof puddle suit, a big warm every day coat and a lightweight jacket or two! I probably have about 7, I don’t wear the same coat over and over, so why would a child be any different!

Well that's lovely for you ,I have one coat and my kids have one coat each ,not everybody can afford lots of different coats and pairs of shoes ,not sure how that's hard to understand ,maybe take your head out of your own little bubble ???

I would raise it with nursery. My son was in a similar situation and came back home with his trainers completely soaked as was his coat. It turned out that both him and his friend decided to empty the contents of a outdoor water table on each other. I realise they can't be watched for every minute of the day but do expect better supervision that that and said so. He does have a spare nicer coat but why would I give it to nursery for limited wear only for him to outgrow it? Ours do actually have wellies for when it is wet and puddlesuits. I've got no problems with kids playing in the rain but if they are soaking each other would expect staff to see and intervene.

Yanbu. x

At my nursery all children bring a bag with at least a full change of clothes and a spare pair of shoes or wellies. Most parents provide wellies and a wet suit if these aren’t provided then the children go out in whatever they came to nursery in. All children need to get the opportunity to play outside, it’s the parents duty to ensure they children are sent to nursery dressed appropriately.

Due to covid we aren’t allowed to keep spare clothes like we used to do and on occasions have had to phone a parent to bring spare clothes for their child to change into.

I got my DC a coat for nursery off of Facebook marketplace. You can get some good condition seconds there, his was £3 and collection within walking distance.
You’re not being unreasonable in what you say. My child’s nursery has an outside area with long grass which is often wet and he comes home in spares regularly because his trousers and socks are soaked. The additional washing and wear is not appreciated but I’m lucky he’ll wear wellies, which saves his trainers. If I was having to wash and dry his coat every other day, I’d be annoyed too.

It's FREEZING outside. I am all for water okay etc in mild/cold weather but MID WINTER???? that's not going to be fun for anyone!