Children playing with water outside in this weather

[Dillpickles]

I received a text from nursery yesterday asking me to bring another coat, socks and shoes for DC to change into when I collect a pick up because the children were playing with water outside and got wet. I always include a spare outfit in DC' nursery bag IE pants, trousers and a top aswell as nappies and wipes but not a spare coat and shoes..

We're not a well off family. I'm a single parent on a zero hours contract so my DC don't own several coats and umpteen pairs of shoes. He has one all-weather coat, a couple pairs of trainers that he's growing out of and his new well fitting trainers that he had on. I don't scrimp when I buy his shoes and coats because I want them to last a good while.

I get there and he's in his spare outfit but his initial outfit is handed to me in a bag absolutely soaked through, as is his coat both inside and out. Dripping wet. His trainers were like bogs. It was as though he'd been jumping in a flipping lake not playing with water in a garden. I'm not exaggerating.

So he had to walk home in trainers that barely fit him anymore which caused a meltdown and made me feel terrible.

I was made to feel bad as though he should have lots of spare coats and trainers in the event of something like this happening. I don't know about you but I tend not to send him outdoors to play in water to this degree in the middle of winter..

His trainers don't let water in when simply walking in the rain or even jumping in the odd puddle so goodness knows what he was actually doing.

He does have a pair of wellington boots but he can't wear them. He's autistic with sensory issues.

AIBU to think the children shouldn't be outside getting soaked in water in the middle of winter when it's blistering cold, or am I just feeling defensive because it has highlighted that I'm an inadequate parent for not having plenty of coats?

I actually don't think it's normal to have a spare coat for a child or spare shoes are runners. We've only ever had one pair of shoes and a pair of wellies (which we would have gotten as cheap as possible and were never a problem) and one coat even when we could afford it. And I'm pretty sure growing up we were the same!!

My son is exactly the same and he gets soaked / filthy no matter what he's doing! I think the outside / water play is good for them but obviously they do need a change of clothes.

I would also see if you could pick up another coat / shoes from charity shop. Primark and supermarkets do relatively cheap trainers for kids too if you can stretch to them as well.

I would also speak to the nursery though and say while you don't mind him outside, getting wet, getting absolutely soaked through isn't ideal for him with his sensory issues, because of him having to change so maybe they could supervise him a little more to ensure he's playing but just not getting soaked.

Your not a bad mum at all either. Your doing your best

Crocs make very lightweight wellies. They were the only ones my autistic DC would wear. Maybe try a pair of those?

I've always kept spares about, second hand / hand me downs, even a think jacket or an extra spare layer like a fleece or even a blanket in a pinch. I'm sure you could have put something together. Kids get messy and soaked and do unexpected things.
If my child has to get home in their clothes and a dressing gown then they do.

I do think most nurseries have decent waterproofs for children to put on. I am surprised they weren't doing that.

My local Facebook page has a free cycle section and ppl are often passing on outgrown coats and trainers-maybe have a look there?

People are just happy things are being used when they are finished with them!!

I would definitely invest on some cheap "nursery clothes" - DD only ever wore stuff I didn't mind getting ruined to nursery and she had a cheap but warm and waterproof second hand coat for nursery and her good quality one for everything else, same with shoes - she had nursery trainers, wellies and a nice pair of shoes.

When I turned up to nursery and the items were all dripping wet I would be asking what happened for my child to get soaked from head to toe and why they weren't stopped from doing whatever caused such a soaking.

I would have no issue with them doing wet/messy play in winter but there is a difference between getting a bit wet from splashing in the water trays or puddles and being soaked to the skin from standing under a waterfall or jumping in a pond. If I turned up and the nursery were apologetic because it was an accident- they were just meant to be having some splashing play but they or another child upended a whole bucket of water over them - I'd let it go as accidents happen, but if they intentionally allowed my child to get so wet without ensuring they were adequately attired then I would not be happy.

Every nursery I have ever had experience with has had puddle suits/wellies etc for children to use if they're going to be doing particularly messy play and they don't have the appropriate clothing to hand.

I love that they encourage this kind of play but they should have offered a solution for this scenario. I’m sure that you aren’t the only one in this position.

I think it's a bit unreasonable of them to expect to have spare coats. DDs often only had one coat when they were little, or maybe one lighter raincoat and a warm coat. We only ever had to leave wellies at nursery and we ended up having a pair at home and a pair at nursery.

Many school nurseries in socially disadvantaged areas are fully aware this is an issue and wash and tumble dry the clothes -knowing that parents have limited facilities.

The nursery should have spare coats or puddle suits. Not everyone can afford two coats. Or the time to scout around charity shops to look for one in the right size.

You can always try freecycle for a cost and even spare shoes. You may not have to pay anything.

In my experience second hand kids clothes are easy to come by. They outgrow stuff so quickly, the charity shops are full of kids clothes. Also do you have friends with older kids? I didn’t buy my kids anything new (other than shoes) till they were about 8. It was hand-downs, charity shops and eBay.
And those saying kids shouldn’t play outside - what about if it snows? Do they have to just watch from indoors and wait for spring?

I would have no issue with them doing wet/messy play in winter but there is a difference between getting a bit wet from splashing in the water trays or puddles and being soaked to the skin

Yes that is how I see it too. I don't mind him getting dirty or playing in water, I purposefully never send him in his best clothes to account for it and always send clean spares just incase.

My issue is the degree to which he was soaked right down to the socks and shoes.

He had on a t-shirt underneath a long sleeved top, then his coat which is waterproof.. I'm assuming he was wearing the coat. Then he had a pair of jogging bottoms and pants underneath. Every item of clothing was saturated.

If I turned up and the nursery were apologetic because it was an accident- they were just meant to be having some splashing play but they or another child upended a whole bucket of water over them - I'd let it go as accidents happen, but if they intentionally allowed my child to get so wet without ensuring they were adequately attired then I would not be happy.

Also this yes.

There wasn't any explanation, just that he'd been playing outside with water (followed by a thinly veiled lecture on how I should have a spare coat and shoes)

I bought puddle suites cheep from lidl, might be worth having a look if they still do them

Also charity shops and vinted have been good for second hand stuff as spares

I also feel your pain with the sensory issues. One of mine would never wear wellies or gloves

The other went through a faze of not wearing anything but snow boots, even in summer with shorts. At 10 he refuses to wear a coat at all. I stick a water proof in his bag so he's at least got something but it never comes out!

If the other kids were wearing puddlesuits and wellies, its entirety possible (and likely) that the others were still totally dry underneath, whilst your little boy was soaked.

I think youve got the following choices:

1. get him a second hand puddle suit and some form of waterproof shoes that he can tolerate. If he's got appropriate clothing for wet play/wet weather, then the spares aren't needed as much (or possibly at all).

2. get lots of cheap spare clothes for him, so thst although he's not appropriately dressed for wet play (ie puddle suit and wellies) he can be dried afterwards.

3. ask the staff to keep him in when the other cyildren play with water.

What you can't realistically do is ask them to play less with water as a group, or for them to make sure he doesn't get as wet. Its not fair for the other children to have their water play reduced because your little boy isnt dressed for it (even if that's for sensible reasons).

Don't feel bad OP. The nursery should really have spare stuff in this situation so kids aren't left in this situation. At my DD's local authority nursery, they actually put their own coats and wellies on the kids for playing outdoors. So the jacket I bought my DD just hangs in the cloakroom from drop off till I pick her up. So IMO the nursery haven't organised for the kids very well if they let them get soaking and then turn around and expect you to magic up a spare coat! Defo agree looking for 2nd hand is a good idea.

@Dillpickles

His coat is waterproof so I don't actually know how it wound up getting soaked inside unless it was unzipped or he took it off.

We often walk places in the rain with that coat and those trainers on and don't have this problem.

Sounds like they were tipping water from a tray- common for them to get overexcited and for this to happen to clothes- puddle suits sometimes avoid. Could be that he/another child just tipped/threw water and it ran down inside his clothes. Preschoolers are hard to predict! Second-hand or freebies for nursery clothes. Never buy anything expensive. Most winter coats from supermarkets will last longer than the child fits them. I recently got two coats, 10 joggers, 5 jumpers and ad hoc tops, for a 3/4yo for £20. Sewed up the ‘hanging up’ loop on one of the coats- other than that: perfect!

I'm definitely going to get him a puddle suit.

Wellies aren't an option because he can't wear them. I've tried several different pairs over the years (high ones, low ones) and he just can't tolerate them.

He has plenty of clothes so spare clothes isn't an issue. He always has an entire spare outfit in his bag incase he gets too messy. Trousers, pants, vest or t-shirt then a top to go over the top in winter.

Coincidentally he did have a waterproof rain mac that could go over his normal coat but he has long since grown out of it.

I took that into account when buying his new coat, it needed to be waterproof and it is.

I'm just a bit baffled how he has managed to soak every layer of clothing despite wearing a waterproof coat and wondering whether it was done up.

We were walking in the rain last week and it was chucking it down. When we got home nothing on his top half behind the coat was wet.

It's as though they were chucking buckets of water over one another.

I don't expect the nursery to stop the other children playing with water btw.

I understand it's annoying but these things happen. If you explain to nursery and it still keeps happening then they are unreasonable but they may just not realise what a problem this is for you as for many people it isn't much of an issue. They are psychic and won't be giving everything lots of thought so just tell them plainly it's a problem.
I have an autistic child who had a period of soaking his shoes at every possible opportunity and it would take days to dry them out so I know how annoying it is. I picked up £5 shoes in Asda as spares - they definitely don't last but are ok for a brief spare. I've also got some hand me downs (including coats and shoes) which are fine as an emergency back up. Can you find some parents to ask for any hand me downs? It's quite common at our school to share things which are no longer needed / ask if anyone has X going spare before buying new. Also there's a local share for free Facebook group. My son tolerates snow boots over wellies and they are usually ok second hand as they aren't very well worn.

Sounds like they were tipping water from a tray- common for them to get overexcited and for this to happen to clothes- puddle suits sometimes avoid. Could be that he/another child just tipped/threw water and it ran down inside his clothes. Preschoolers are hard to predict!

X posted, yes that sounds probable.

‘Waterproof’ is a wide range though, might be an explanation of how water has got through. Some waterproofs are just showerproof (usually supermarket type waterproofs) and don’t have taped seams.

If rain or water is too heavy it will let the water through. Some waterproofs can take heavy rain. For something that is getting heavily wet you’ll need something with a 5,000mm rating or above!

If you can get second hand regatta they are usually 5000mm rated.

Bit odd they didn't put the kids in puddlesuits and wellies. If you could afford to I would invest in some for nursery that way his coat and shoes won't get ruined too much at nursery.

I'm confused by the posters who think it's fine for children to get soaking wet outside when it's winter - would you all be happy to get your clothes soaked when it's cold? I wouldn't, and I spend a lot of time outdoors (yes, including in winter!)

I would get a second coat that’s a thinner water/ wind proof type thing. Then you can use in the warmer months alone, and in winter add thick jumper or two underneath as a back up winter jacket. As it’s thinner you can buy a size bigger and roll up sleeve if needed

But yes to your point, I would be happy they are outside, but wouldn’t be happy in January for them to allow without appropriate all in one waterproof suits on

It’s a bit different as really cold here, but full waterproof salopettes or snowsuit have to be left at nursery here. They will not be allowed outside without one on as too cold . They keep spares if forgotten, and one will be provided full time by them if you need ( for free). Slippers also have to be left