Hairdresser never asked how I wanted my hair cut. Just started cutting and chatting.

[Footgoose]

I have Not been to the hairdressers for 2 years. It’s quite forgiving hair being a bit wild and very curly . It was starting to look a bit like a mullet and I wanted my Bob shape back. I Screen shot a few pictures of what I wanted to show the hairdresser.

I met my hair dresser for the first time ever at the door. She introduced me to the lady who was going to do a hair treatment and I went straight to the wash basins. No consultation. Hair washed and seated and my hairdresser appeared from behind and just started cutting and chatting . She was lovely but gave me no chance to say what I actually wanted. I just couldn’t find the right words to say anything that didn’t sound stroppy / shocked/ annoyed so I said nothing . She chatted / chopped/ applied products / dried all without a single question about what I came in for . Hair was finished and admittedly it looked better but no change to the overall shape. Just a bit neater.
I wondered if she perhaps confused me with a regular client with similar hair but the talking was mostly around me being new to the salon .
I never said a word of complaint. Left happy enough because I didn’t want to say anything that sounded like I was being off . Good enough hair cut and treatment but at 120 pounds later ( I bought some products too ) It doesn’t look much different. I was in and out in 50 mins which included a protein treatment . Never had one before so not sure how long it should have taken. It took about 15 mins I think.
Now, I’ve had an email asking for feed back . AIBU to bring up the fact I was never asked what I actually wanted. I don’t want to come across as complaining but I do think I should have had the opportunity to say what kind of cut I hoping for . How would you word it ?
My husband just laughed and said it could only happen to me.

What did you actually book? If you booked a trim then I, sort of, understand why you came out with the same shape. If you booked a restyle /reshape then less so.

This is why I’ve been cutting my own hair for the last 2 years though. I’m too scared to go back to a hairdresser now my usual one has closed down

I would definitely write that in the feedback. She is absolutely crazy to start cutting your hair without asking what you want!

Did you actually get anything you originally went through the salon door for?

You sat through the whole haircut chatting to her and never made an attempt to stop her or tell her what you wanted! Yes it was off what she did but you have a voice, use it!

I book for a cut and blow dry . I remember saying on the phone , “it needs a really good cut, not been done since before lockdown”. I went on to say it was curly so if they had a hairdresser who liked cutting curly hair book me in . I asked for a pre treatment as I knew it was looking a bit crispy on the ends.
Yes, I sat there saying nothing because once the moment was gone how do you interrupt and ask . I couldn’t find the words. Thankfully, I could tell the scissors were not to far in to my neck so rolled with it . I couldn’t find the right words with the right tone . She was too lovely to raise my voice over and ask her what she was doing. I know I would have sounded shitty without wanting too.

I will never understand people. How can you not find the right words? It is quite easy:" Please stop, I'd like to tell you what I want."
Not rude, just factual. Your hair, your money. Her expertise.

My other favourite is ordering something and getting something else. Never saying a word. why?

oh OP! You really should've just said "ah can I have it a bit shorter pls? Like bob length" while gesturing with your hands

I had booked a taxi which didn’t turn up ( awful parking near the salon) . In the end I drove myself. Parked in a dodgy side street as near to the salon as I could and ran. I wasn’t late but it probably added to my stress levels, if I had opened my mouth I just know I would have sounded snippy.

"I've been wondering what I want for ages and I think I definitely want a bob style today please"

"Oh yes, that's nice, but could I have a bit more off please? I was thinking along the lines of this *shows picture"

But you won't be the first or last person to walk away from a salon unhappy! It can be awkward in person

Will you be going back? I probably wouldn’t. I’d fill their feedback form in and say pretty much what you’ve said here. But mention that you’re shy and couldn’t find the courage to say anything at the time.

Never mind, OP. At least it looked better when you came out than it did when you went in!

Let this be a lesson to you that you need to work on your assertiveness skills. It would not have been remotely rude to politely interrupt the hairdresser to explain what you had had in mind. I get that you didn't find it easy to speak up, so maybe you need to reflect on how you could have made that conversation happen so that you don't get stuck in a similar situation next time.

Your DH's comment is quite telling, I think. You clearly need to learn how to speak up for yourself.

@WhenTheyComeForYou

But you won't be the first or last person to walk away from a salon unhappy! It can be awkward in person

But if you are unhappy you don't walk away. You ask them to fix it to your liking. It is very rare that they cannot. (I got orange hair once. The hairdresser was in knots as it was supposed to be extra dark blue and she obviously made a mistake :) She was in luck, I loved it. Other time, another hairdresser asked me at the end if I liked it. Hated it, asked her to cut it shorter and do a diff style. I am not going to walk out with shitty style if it is within reason to fix it. Why should I?)

Curly cut should be cut dry 🤷‍♀️ Just saying.

if I had opened my mouth I just know I would have sounded snippy.
Best thing to sound in a hairdressers, tbf

As she approaches with scissors: “oh sorry, we’ve been so busy chatting that we haven’t discussed what I want yet. I thought… (blah blah)”.

It’s not at all rude to interrupt chatting to actually ask for the service you’re paying for.

In the nicest possible way, OP:

Let this be a lesson to you that you need to work on your assertiveness skills.

This. The hairdresser absolutely should’ve checked but if you genuinely didn’t feel able to pipe up and tell her what you wanted then it’s definitely something you need to work on. I was like that when was I younger, it takes practice but is totally doable.

It doesn't matter whether you book a restyle or a cut and blow dry a consultation should always been done before a hair cut is started.

How did they know what treatment to use if your a new client to the salon?

I would say in the feed back that you feel you missed out on a full consultation and that the haircut you have isn't of bad nature however it isn't what you were looking for.

@wtfisgoingonhere21

It doesn't matter whether you book a restyle or a cut and blow dry a consultation should always been done before a hair cut is started.

How did they know what treatment to use if your a new client to the salon?

I would say in the feed back that you feel you missed out on a full consultation and that the haircut you have isn't of bad nature however it isn't what you were looking for.

Surely their first response to that will be: “Oh I’m sorry - what was it you asked for?” At which point the OP loses credibility because she didn’t speak!

I actually had exactly this happen to me recently at the salon where I go three or four times a year. She started cutting and I just laughed and said you haven’t actually asked me what I’m after yet! She had the grace to look a bit nonplussed and said oh yeah well what do you want, customer service not. I didn’t leave a tip.

This is unbelievable. Then I remembered my cousin who sounds just like this; never speaks up about anything and she would have done exactly like you. I can’t imagine not saying anything; in fact, I would have been STROPPY for the utter cheek of cutting my hair without a conversation first! Hair is so important to me as well…everything has to be just right otherwise I would be feeling awful.

Try your hardest to speak up next time, OP. It will serve you well. With practice, it will be second nature.

If you didn’t feel you could open your mouth and voice what you wanted at the time- there’s no point doing so now.

Next time; speak up and don’t sit there like a numpty, silent when you know you aren’t getting what you wanted.

Silly really.

£120 for a cut and blow dry??? Even including products that is bloody expensive

misses point

You need to learn to be more assertive.

My hairdresser is a friend and she still sits me down and discusses what I'm wanting done at each appointment.

I ask for the same each time but she still asks. 🤣