Page 3 | Hairdresser never asked how I wanted my hair cut. Just started cutting and chatting.

AutomaticMoon · 24/01/2022 21:19

@stuntbubbles 😭 haha terrible

NinaDefoe · 24/01/2022 21:22

The OP shouldn’t need to assert herself/ be assertive. If the hairdresser was half decent he/she would have talked her through the cut before washing her hair and chopping at it. It’s like any profession- some people are crap at their job.

AutomaticMoon · 24/01/2022 21:22

How are women meant to learn assertiveness skills when it’s never modelled to them as young girls? It’s disheartening to see the blame.

shouldistop · 24/01/2022 21:23

You wouldn't be unreasonable to mention it in feedback

AutomaticMoon · 24/01/2022 21:24

@NinaDefoe I thought I was going mad

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 24/01/2022 21:27

Did you actually want to buy any products or did they just add them to your bill & you didn't say anything in case they thought you were being stroppy?
"Before we get started, can I explain what I'm after/ask your advice/check how much length you think I should lose"

TableLampy · 24/01/2022 21:28

@NinaDefoe

The OP shouldn’t need to assert herself/ be assertive. If the hairdresser was half decent he/she would have talked her through the cut before washing her hair and chopping at it. It’s like any profession- some people are crap at their job.

You’re right, the op shouldn’t have had to assert herself. The hairdresser was wrong. But guess what, there are times in life where people DO need to assert themselves. If they can’t then they will be walked all over which is kind of what happened here

NinaDefoe · 24/01/2022 21:34

AutomaticMoon

All this talk about being assertive is annoying me. If people treated others with respect and consideration (and in this case did the job they are being paid to do properly) there would be no need for anyone to assert themselves.

The blame is entirely on the hairdresser who needs a bit more training it seems.
The situation should never have happened.
The OP should never have been put in a situation whereby she had to speak up.

eldora · 24/01/2022 21:35

£120

I’m much more vocal in my haircuts and they cost £15 for a dry cut and £18 for a wash and cut! The hairdresser even blow dries my hair straight for free if she’s not busy!

NinaDefoe · 24/01/2022 21:37

TableLampy

I’m responding mainly to posters who seem to think this is all the OP’s fault.

HoneyFlowers · 24/01/2022 21:37

I've had so many bad experiences. I asked for a short hair cut, she did a horrible wedge look at the back which was not as per the picture I took in. I left it to grow out and went back and said very clearly... "I hate the wedge look at the back" ... Couldn't believe it, to she did it again!!! Never went back.

Serendip20 · 24/01/2022 21:38

In the kindest way this has made me chuckle! Mainly because it’s the kind of thing I could see happening to me. Thankfully I’m slowly but surely becoming more assertive. Sometimes there never quite seems to be the right time to say something even when you know the situation is getting more and more ridiculous

ShinyMe · 24/01/2022 21:43

I find it utterly baffling that someone can sit there and let another person cut their hair and then PAY them for it, without feeling able to pipe up even briefly to say what they actually want.

Voice0fReason · 24/01/2022 21:44

Why get the hairdresser into trouble just because you are weak

Yes the OP should have spoken up.
BUT
It is inexcusable that the hairdresser didn't ask what she wanted.
That should be an absolute basic requirement every single time without fail.

TableLampy · 24/01/2022 21:47

@NinaDefoe

TableLampy

I’m responding mainly to posters who seem to think this is all the OP’s fault.

I totally understand. I just think it’s naive and essentially quite stupid for posters (not necessarily you) to be basically saying that assertiveness isn’t an important life skill, that it shouldn’t be necessary because everyone should treat us with respect and do the right thing by us. That’s not life and I actually find it sad as well as baffling that a grown woman had no way of speaking up for herself in this situation. I would be gutted if I wasn’t able to model assertiveness to my kids, especially my daughter because I’m not naive and I know it’s necessary

NinaDefoe · 24/01/2022 21:47

I really sympathise with people who hate making a fuss or speaking up if they are not getting a great service.

Getting your hair cut is a personal thing - you are at the mercy of the hairdresser to some extent. It’s a delicate balance- you don’t want to piss them off by being too demanding but at the same time you need them to do what you want.

A good hairdresser understands this dynamic and is a good communicator. They should take the lead, ask questions and find out what the client wants.

NinaDefoe · 24/01/2022 21:51

I do get where you are coming from though table.
Yes, when things go wrong, we should all have the courage to stick up for ourselves.

user1471453601 · 24/01/2022 21:54

Ive been going to my hairdresser for more than twenty years. She still says "same again?" when I sit down. She also always asks if there is any part of my last cut that is getting on my nerves.

She knows my hair and she knows me. I don't think she'd dream of starting without checking with me first.

Get another hairdresser.

UserBot999 · 24/01/2022 22:01

I can see how easily this happens. They always try to lead me to the sinks before I've had a chance to tell the hairdresser what I want done! i have curly hair too. It amazes me that they allow this to happen really, they should be adamant that they get a chance to look at the client's hair and ask her what she wants done before it's wet.

nordica · 24/01/2022 22:04

I can imagine how it happened... I've bought something before without intending to after a similar sort of situation (not involving a haircut though).

Maybe the hairdresser had one of those moments when she just forgot to ask? Everyone makes silly mistakes at work.

As you had brought photos with you, I think I would have said something like oh yeah, I've got some photos here of the kind of a thing I was hoping to get if you wanted to look at these first, when she started cutting.

Joystir59 · 24/01/2022 22:05

This is why I've cut my own hair for years

Ducksareruiningmypatio · 24/01/2022 22:18

I don't bother with hairdressers any more.
£30 or £100 it's the same shitty layered cut.
Did they lose all skill over lockdown or something?
I can do the same with a decent pair of scissors and a YouTube video as I'd get I most of the salons around here. Utterly pointless.

WimpoleHat · 24/01/2022 22:20

Now, I’ve had an email asking for feed back . AIBU to bring up the fact I was never asked what I actually wanted

I hear this sort of thing all the time. Surely it’s less confrontational to tell the lady at the time than to complain about her, effectively formally, afterwards? If that was you, doing your job, surely you’d prefer someone to say “oh - sorry - but that’s not right” at the time than to write to your boss?

loloballlolo · 24/01/2022 22:20

It sounds as though they wrote down you wanted a trim on the appointment book, in error! Or she looked at the wrong person's appointment and thought it was you. But you should have said something.

Hawkins001 · 24/01/2022 22:25

@Footgoose

I have Not been to the hairdressers for 2 years. It’s quite forgiving hair being a bit wild and very curly . It was starting to look a bit like a mullet and I wanted my Bob shape back. I Screen shot a few pictures of what I wanted to show the hairdresser.

I met my hair dresser for the first time ever at the door. She introduced me to the lady who was going to do a hair treatment and I went straight to the wash basins. No consultation. Hair washed and seated and my hairdresser appeared from behind and just started cutting and chatting . She was lovely but gave me no chance to say what I actually wanted. I just couldn’t find the right words to say anything that didn’t sound stroppy / shocked/ annoyed so I said nothing . She chatted / chopped/ applied products / dried all without a single question about what I came in for . Hair was finished and admittedly it looked better but no change to the overall shape. Just a bit neater.
I wondered if she perhaps confused me with a regular client with similar hair but the talking was mostly around me being new to the salon .
I never said a word of complaint. Left happy enough because I didn’t want to say anything that sounded like I was being off . Good enough hair cut and treatment but at 120 pounds later ( I bought some products too ) It doesn’t look much different. I was in and out in 50 mins which included a protein treatment . Never had one before so not sure how long it should have taken. It took about 15 mins I think.
Now, I’ve had an email asking for feed back . AIBU to bring up the fact I was never asked what I actually wanted. I don’t want to come across as complaining but I do think I should have had the opportunity to say what kind of cut I hoping for . How would you word it ?
My husband just laughed and said it could only happen to me.

It sounds like what you wanted was described in the instruction when the booking was made, and then I presume relayed to the hair dresser ?