Are friend and husband BU?

[Blackbootswithredribbons]

Friend asked me to post here as she's not on the site but wants some input.
Friends dd is thirteen and uses an android phone, as do friend and her husband.
However, her dd desperately wants an iphone. Friend has said she's seen quite literally all of dd's friends use iphones. It's apparently it's the done thing and you're not 'with it' if you don't.
Friends DH is extremely anti-apple and will not entertain the idea. Friend is on the fence but learning towards no because of the peer pressure message, but would also be fine with it.
They could definitely afford it
What are your thoughts?
YABU: Her dd should have an iphone if she truly wants one
YANBU: She'll survive without one, it teaches a good lesson

Being a teenager is hard, and fitting in is a big deal, so if she wants one and they can afford it then I’d let her have one. It’s not like she’s changing her personality to fit in, it’s a phone, so I wouldn’t view it as negative peer pressure.

love my iphone, if her dh disapproves of the brand marketing ethos or what ever he should explain that better.
if the current phone can be traded in i'd consider the upgrade but we're an apple totally connected family.

YABU. What lesson is not giving her an iPhone supposed to teach? That people forbid you from having stuff just because they can? It's not going to stop her wanting an iPhone, she's just going to think her parents are dicks.

'Friends DH is extremely anti-apple and will not entertain the idea'
Code for 'controlling dickhead'

I won't give mine iphones because mine is Android and some of the parenting apps won't work across the platforms, plus I don't know how to work iphones so I can't help them if they need me to do something with it. Plus, they currently use old phones of mine which are android. If they want iphones in the future they'll have to contribute to buying them.

Androids shit, just get her an iPhone already. It’s just a phone 🤨

She’s allowed to have different tastes to her parents,

I’m still salty about not getting a Mr Frosty when I was little and I’m 44 now.

That's so weird, he's not going to be the one using it! Why does he get the final say?

I can't imagine not letting my teen choose the brand of phone they prefer just because I don't like them. My teens wear fake tan - I hate that- but I don't try and control their choices. They also prefer certain clothing brands that I think are either overpriced or poor quality. Again, I don't try and stop them wearing these brands. I respect their likes and dislikes.
As pp said upthread, the Dad sounds like a controlling dick.
I wouldn't put up with a man trying to control me like that, and I wouldn't let it happen to my DC either.

I'd get her one as birthday/Christmas present as she has a working phone already. Mine families opposite - everyone has iphones except me but ended up with ipad so I could control kids apps etc

Mine=My

I’d let her have an I phone, but a second hand one. Apple are very expensive.

Not fair for parents to force stuff like that on their children. They are raising individuals, not clones.

I plan only letting mine have our cast offs. We'll see how that goes! We are only at the 'oldest starting to ask for one' stage at the mo. That said, cast off would mean a choice of android or iPhone as we and DH have different.

@Fluffycloudland77

Androids shit, just get her an iPhone already. It’s just a phone 🤨

She’s allowed to have different tastes to her parents,

I’m still salty about not getting a Mr Frosty when I was little and I’m 44 now.

I love my Samsung, but I'll never forgive my mum for not letting me have a Sindy doll because they were 'common'. I'm 66.

I also really dislike iPhones. I will not buy one. If either DD desperately wanted one, they would of course be free to save their allowance and buy one themselves. If i was due to replace another device I had given them, I would give them the option of having that money towards it, and they can top it up. I'm not going to ban them from having one, that's daft. (Almost as much as buying an iPhone! )

Teens where I live all want Iphones and honestly they feel very left out if they have a phone that isn't

@saraclara I got fobbed off with Sindy too! A friends mum bought me a barbie in the end.

Neither really.

I think it would BU to spend money replacing something she has, so really isn't needed, just for fashion.
But, as and when the time comes to replace the phone, then I would consider all the options.
I would also get her to explain why the iphone would be better, and I would get my dh to explain why he thinks iphones are no good.

Even if the parents have the money to buy one, I still think there should be some reasoning behind replacing a perfectly good phone, and perhaps some "sacrifice" by the teen if she feels it that important to her. (By 'sacrifice' I mean that she understand it will be her birthday and Christmas present for that year, or he pocket money for X months, or whatever. Once young people are spending their own money, then the desperate "need" to have something on brand, sometimes becomes less of a need and more of a want. I think that is a valuable thing for all teens to begin to learn.

He sounds like a dick. Your friends sound slide she enables him his behaviour by siding with him.

Can’t they come to some sort of compromise? She contributes some moment towards it, and/or she waits for a birthday or Christmas?

P.S. Dad sounds like a dick, and I suspect everyone dances to his tune, so presumably everyone else’s being reasonable and coming up with possible solutions will all be for naught, while he rages against the machine. 🙄

@saraclara and @Fluffycloudland77 I'm 44 and never did get a Mr Frosty either and wanted one so badly! However I was allowed a Sindy but was not allowed a Barbie due to Sindy being a British doll and Barbie being American 🤣 we are an apple family too as once you have everything with apple its basically a pain in the arse to change but I do remember the last Samsung I had was superb and I loved android.

Strange… if she wants an iPhone then get her one! Being a teenager is hard enough. Why punish DD because DH has an irrational dislike of Apple (that by the way have the best technology products)!!

Really dislike his reasoning here.

Obviously not a fan of peer pressure, but he's just being a jerk to force his opinions on her. Whether he likes it or not, she'll be surrounded by other kids with apple products... MacBooks, air pods, apple watches, iPads, iPhones.

Every single teenager I know has at least one, if not 2 or 3, of these. Is he going to stay firm until she goes to university? I'm not saying she needs any of these things, but this is just the first in a long list of stuff most likely and his reasoning is just rubbish. The peer pressure thing is being added in as cop out I think.

If it were a money issue, I'd get it. They're shocking expensive. But sounds like he's just being a twat. Apple, android, whatever. They're all out to make money and that's that.

I voted give her the iPhone.
I’m with @fluffycloudland77. I see that mr frosty and I raise you a ghostbusters fire station.
That year I was given a comedy big money box so I could save for it myself. Hilarious as I didn’t get pocket money.
It still stings.

@Fluffycloudland77

Androids shit, just get her an iPhone already. It’s just a phone 🤨

She’s allowed to have different tastes to her parents,

I’m still salty about not getting a Mr Frosty when I was little and I’m 44 now.

My kids asked for a mr frosty this Christmas and the one before and I deprived them both years maybe I should correct it next year!