Are friend and husband BU?

[Blackbootswithredribbons]

Friend asked me to post here as she's not on the site but wants some input.
Friends dd is thirteen and uses an android phone, as do friend and her husband.
However, her dd desperately wants an iphone. Friend has said she's seen quite literally all of dd's friends use iphones. It's apparently it's the done thing and you're not 'with it' if you don't.
Friends DH is extremely anti-apple and will not entertain the idea. Friend is on the fence but learning towards no because of the peer pressure message, but would also be fine with it.
They could definitely afford it
What are your thoughts?
YABU: Her dd should have an iphone if she truly wants one
YANBU: She'll survive without one, it teaches a good lesson

Also, I cannot stand android phones. For some reason I just can't use them!!! Has to be iPhones for me. They're so much easier to use.

I don't know. I understand the DH not wanting to buy it himself if he doesn't like Apple, but don't see why the DD can't save up and/or her mother could contribute in some way.

On the fitting in. My parents often said no and I didn't fit in, in so many ways - which admittedly was painful as a teenager, but then I liked many things that my peers didn't so I would have stood out anyway. I sympathize but also don't think "all my friends have one" is necessarily a good enough reason.

So, on the fence a bit.

My daughter wanted iPhone for christmas but I had already got her android I think I'm going to buy her iPhone for her birthday as she didn't moan and has looked after ehat she got. If you can afford it then why not they are only little once if we are able to spoilt them a little then why not I say xx

Not fair for parents to force stuff like that on their children. They are raising individuals, not clones

The irony of this. She wants an iPhone because if she doesn't she's out. I'd tell her to find better friends! Samsung is far superior to iPhones anyway.

Unless apple have personally shat on the dad and his family then his feelings about about shouldn't be a factor.

I'd wait until her birthday and gift her an iphone.

Thanks all- ultimately it's up to friend and her husband, but I shall offer up the opinions here.

Samsungs are shit. I once dropped a new Samsung phone and never bothered picking it up.

iPhone all the way. Plus I have an iPad so have chargers everywhere that can charge either.

@WorriedGiraffe 😯 You DIDN'T! Haven’t you ever seen the “presents I never got” threads on here? It’s up there with the big yellow tea pot and barbie dream house.

Wanting something you don't need just because your friends have it definitely shouldn't be encouraged. But the father imposing his bias against iphone on a teen is inappropriate. How about a compromise where she is given opportunity to earn it, save for it, or forego some other thing (new trainers, trips out etc) in return for it. If it 'costs' her something maybe she will think twice about whether it's worth it just to be the same as her friends.

Disclosure: Android user

So the daughter has a perfectly working phone but is whining for a iPhone? I'm with the parents why does she need a second phone? You don't die if you don't have a iPhone I'm not buying one because I'm not giving money to a company that killed a warehouse full of people and hasn't even paid the compensation to the families

@Fluffycloudland77

Androids shit, just get her an iPhone already. It’s just a phone 🤨

She’s allowed to have different tastes to her parents,

I’m still salty about not getting a Mr Frosty when I was little and I’m 44 now.

I totally agree, not about the Android being shit but the fury of not getting a Mr Frosty only to discover bloody Santa had bought one for my younger brother, I was spitting nails about it for ages, truth be told I still am.

I am an android user. Samsung specifically.

I find it really odd how there's alot of android users with a snobbery around it. Like it makes them superior. Really really weird.

If her friends don't like her unless she has an iphone then I'd be seriously concerned about her friends. She is not being treated badly by her dad for not getting her an iphone just because all her friends have one and she feels left out - if all her friends had a horse should he get her one of those too so she doesn't feel left out? An iphone is hundreds and hundreds of pounds there is no way I would spend that on a child for Christmas or birthday especially when it could make her a target for being mugged. It's not her money that's funding it at 13, it's his. When's she's old enough to work and save for it herself then she has the right to decide for herself exactly what she wants and how much it costs.

The horror on here that a dad wouldn't spend hundreds on a particularly expensive phone for his daughter so she can look cool to her mates is beyond belief.

After being the odd, pickle and outcast at times, i d say if an I phone can be afforded and if it helps the dd, fit in, then iPhone she should have, why make a stand to prove a point when psychological effects could not be worth it, just to make a point of surviving with android ?

Reminds me of the BlackBerry phones when kids were younger and BB messenger being the thing to have ( it was free, but this was when each text had a charge 😆 )

More to do with compatibility with apps and such like, some don't cross over to android.......so if all her mates have apple she'll be left out.

Can't she just get one bit then call it nasty names every morning just to appease her dad ??

She has a phone, does she need another one?

@Fluffycloudland77

Androids shit, just get her an iPhone already. It’s just a phone 🤨

She’s allowed to have different tastes to her parents,

I’m still salty about not getting a Mr Frosty when I was little and I’m 44 now.

Mr Frosty didn't work. Children can't crush solid ice with a plastic handle!!

What message does it give to either bow to peer pressure or Dad pressure? It’s a good opportunity to lean some life skills - e.g. would be a good moment to encourage her to start doing some consumer research - reviews etc; or to learn something about the value of money; as well as about balancing fitting in, and learning to be comfortable with having opinions and tastes that are outwith ‘the cool group’.

well i wouldn't just be going out and going "boom iphone" but i absolutely get the having what the others have thing and within reason would go along with it. I don't see what the father's feelings/opinions have to do with it really? I mean they aren't made from ground up people or anything?

@InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream

'Friends DH is extremely anti-apple and will not entertain the idea' Code for 'controlling dickhead'

No it's not being a controlling dickhead actually. My DH is very anti-Sky, I am very anti-Starbucks, in both cases because we dislike the companies' business ethos.

It's January. Did she ask for an iPhone for Christmas? I would not be buying an expensive present for no reason.

Even if birthday approaching or using own money we wouldn't want dd to have iPhone because we are a Samsung house and I know what I am doing for monitoring purposes and I know apple products can be incompatible with non apple products. If she was 15 or older I would allow her to buy it herself and contribute usual amount as I imagine my involvement in monitoring/sorting phone will have reduced.

I actually think it's good to learn to not have things just because everyone else does & it's ok to be individual but then I was the teenager who didn't want the same as everyone else so maybe that's me!

I’m still salty about not getting a Mr Frosty when I was little and I’m 44 now.

See I was salty till about 25 then realised it was shit

Apple is the only way. Android is not worth bothering with.

BUTTTT my opinion is because I'm an adult and and I pay for it myself.

I would be tempted to say that she should fund the difference - DD that is.

If her friends don't like her unless she has an iphone then I'd be seriously concerned about her friends. She is not being treated badly by her dad for not getting her an iphone just because all her friends have one and she feels left out - if all her friends had a horse should he get her one of those too so she doesn't feel left out?

Good point