To walk alone for 45mins at 8pm?

[imamumgetmeoutofhere]

Just that really.

Told my DH I would be walking home from work tonight, finish 8pm.

It takes around 40-45mins. There are no busses at this time. He feels I should get a taxi, mainly due to the attacks on women that have been published in the media recently. I've said I can't justify the expense and am more than happy walking, usually do if it's daylight. We live in a holiday resort area but it's along 3 fairly busy main roads so won't be in any isolated areas.

He usually collects me but he has covid so can't collect me and I don't drive.

AIBU to think its fine to walk home at this time of the day in the dark or should I follow his advise and get a taxi and claw the cost back elsewhere?

Some women feel perfectly safe walking alone after dark.

Some women do not.

Both are valid feelings. Let's not gaslight the women who don't feel safe as though they're being over dramatic and paranoid. It's sad that we feel we have to take such precautions but that's the society we're living in. Don't make a woman feel bad for taking those precautions when she's not the issue.

Back to OP's question: personally I'd taxi it, but as others have said it's ultimately your decision and up to you if you feel safe or not.

I'd do it. I go out for walks in the evening all the time, when else do I have the time?

Yes I would walk in the circumstances you’ve put. I find the idea of feeling unable to walk along a busy street at 8pm more worrying!

I wouldn’t but I’ve had my fair share of awful experiences when walking alone

in all honesty i wouldn’t think twice at this time of evening at all. I wouldn’t walk through a park at this time but definitely on streets wouldn’t even consider not. Yes bad things do happen, but they also happen in the daytime and in homes where people feel they are safe. I,don’t drive and my life would be ridiculously restricted if I only went out in the dark when someone could give me a lift

@LiveFromNewYork

I do this all the time, though in London. I wouldn't walk country lanes, the countryside terrifies me.

I guess it's not really the length as you could be kidnapped in 5 minutes.

@LiveFromNewYork - certain parts of London aren't as safe as others - where Sabina Nessa in Kidbroke is you wouldn't say it was unsafe. I mean she walked it home.

I happily walk e.g. most of central London but some of outskirts I wouldn't.

I would. I feel much safer/more comfortable walking than I do on my own in a taxi.

Let's not gaslight the women who don't feel safe as though they're being over dramatic and paranoid.

Do people feel obliged to use the term 'gaslighting' in every thread?

No one is gaslighting.

It's completely up to you. I would but I know that there would be a rough area on my route home and I already get a bit nervous walking through there in day light.

For me it's because if I'm being followed in the country, I'm funnelled down a pavement by a road with no streetlights or witnesses. In my town (I live in the centre) there'd be a Starbucks, Costa, three or four pubs and a corner shop I could duck into.

I walk at this time of day every week for yoga, I couldn't do it if I had to taxi. I do walk the main road though rather than my daytime route, I try and be more alert. I would walk personally but only you know the area!

I do it now and again, when i have to. It's along a busy main road. I feel safe enough, but the shouts, stares and comments from men in passing cars/vans is very irritating, and i get self concious. I also wouldn't want a 45 minute walk after a day's work on a cold night if it could be avoided, so unless he was bedridden I'd want him to come and fetch me regardless.

I'd walk, and frequently do. I have spent lots of time walking 30-40 minute distances home at 3 or 4 in the morning.
Not only is it bad for us as individual women to buy into this 'boohoo, the world is a scary dangerous place so never go out alone or at night' bullshit, but more women being out and about as they wish makes the streets feel a little safer.
After all, and never forget: your male partner is, statistically, a much greater threat to you than any random stranger.

I’ve always walked, in my “prime” and now, and so far have only been attacked by random women

• both in broad day.

Mum was nearly raped in broad day as well- by a man- She fought back and was ok Day can be just as dangerous as night - more so IME

Personally I would walk unless the route would take you through any dodgy areas

Its surprising and sad that so many on this thread believe that a woman walking somewhere local alone after dark is a complete no no

I'd walk. It's a route you feel comfortable walking.

I would walk, I regularly walk my dog at that time in the dark. I live in the suburbs of a large city but I'd walk about in the city centre at that time (and later) too. I wouldn't walk through a park obviously but on streets is fine. Its either that or don't leave the house after 4/5pm in winter which is ridiculous.

Yes, violence against women happens but we cannot let it ruin our lives I'm not saying take stupid risks but walking at 8pm in a town along busy streets is not taking a risk.

Actually - having thought about this - just before Xmas I met a friend in a certain part of London (not naming it) - she said when she went home she'd have to walk past a common/park and didn't feel safe. This is a woman who's very savvy and street wise. We met at a bar next to a station where she could easily get a very short train ride home. I think you have to use your judgment.

It's a shame more people don't walk because then roads wouldn't be so empty and people would feel less vulnerable.

In the 70's/80's the streets were full of people walking home from work so as a child/teen I felt safe everywhere even in the evenings

Depends on the area

Let's not gaslight the women who don't feel safe as though they're being over dramatic and paranoid.

Isn’t gaslighting when you try to convince somebody that something the know to be true did not happen, so that hey start to doubt their sanity?

You can’t use “gaslighting” in this context because they are believing a thing that is NOT true. It is not gaslighting to tell them that they are safe, even if they believe that they are not. It is trying to help them understand risk.

I think what you mean is that we should not mock them for their fear, or minimise their feelings.

I would walk, if the route is well lit, along busy roads.

If he isn’t too ill with Covid, could he not just come and get you anyway? He wouldn’t have to be in contact with anyone other than you and you could sit in the back with window open and mask on.

I go for a walk in the dark most days. However, I’m not sure I’ve sent the best message to my DD15 as she tries to do it too and points out that I do when I say no. I’m walking with her 20 minutes to one of her clubs at 7.30 at the moment but I’ve had to really push to make her understand the need to be careful.

I personally wouldn’t walk home in the dark myself. I bet Sarah Everard thought she was safe walking home the night she did it. She walked busy residential and shopping areas.

If it were me dh would put a mask on and drive with windows open to pick me up or I would get a taxi home.