To walk alone for 45mins at 8pm?

[imamumgetmeoutofhere]

Just that really.

Told my DH I would be walking home from work tonight, finish 8pm.

It takes around 40-45mins. There are no busses at this time. He feels I should get a taxi, mainly due to the attacks on women that have been published in the media recently. I've said I can't justify the expense and am more than happy walking, usually do if it's daylight. We live in a holiday resort area but it's along 3 fairly busy main roads so won't be in any isolated areas.

He usually collects me but he has covid so can't collect me and I don't drive.

AIBU to think its fine to walk home at this time of the day in the dark or should I follow his advise and get a taxi and claw the cost back elsewhere?

I'd probably walk if I knew the area well and it was a relatively safe neighbourhood.

But I'd prefer to get collected - not because of safety but after a long day on a cold night I'd be keen to get home ASAP. Does your dh feel really rough and that's the reason he can't collect you? If it's not because he's too ill, then he's driving to collect you but not getting out of the car so that's not a problem, is it? You're sharing a house with him, after all, so if you haven't caught it yet anyway it would be a miracle.

@Classica

I don't feel brave, because it's something I've always done. But I do think there is a lot of unnecessary fear on this thread.

Yes, there probably is. But women's circumstances and experiences differ, and what feels and maybe is, perfectly safe for one woman may not be for another. On a thread like this we have no real idea of the locations and routes other women are thinking of when they say they wouldn't want to do it, nor of the types of people they encounter, or how likely they are to be a target, or their confidence and ability to defend themselves should they need to. Walking after dark may be an entirely different experience for you than it is for me.

@Classica

I don't feel brave, because it's something I've always done. But I do think there is a lot of unnecessary fear on this thread.

What are you really afraid of? Please tell us so we can judge if it’s “unnecessary”.

I'd walk it but then when I was 22 I had to fight off a taxi driver who offered to forget my fare if I did something for him. Said while pinning me to the seat and trying to get his hand down my top so I'm a little less convinced of the safety of taxis than some on this post.

[quote HerculesMulligann]@sillysmiles That’s exactly it. Personally it makes absolutely no difference to me if one random women never leaves her house alone, or after dark, or whatever. But it does make a difference to me, and to my teenage daughters for example, if there is a narrative as societal level that women cannot feel just as safe as men doing simple everyday activities.[/quote]
Women don't feel just as safe, a point made in many a topic

Unless he is very ill, I don't see why he can't collect you..? Covid doesn't leap through cars after all.
Along busy roads then I'd walk it.

@Briony123

Unless he is very ill, I don't see why he can't collect you..? Covid doesn't leap through cars after all. Along busy roads then I'd walk it.

Because he has to self-isolate. It’s irrelevant how ill he feels.

@Snowiscold

"Because he has to self-isolate. It’s irrelevant how ill he feels."

Surely going out in the car to collect his wife is still isolating? As long as he stays in the car. Unless he is trying to keep his distance from his wife to protect her. The OP doesn't want to answer that question for some reason!

Apologies I never came back to this thread

I ended up getting a lift off a colleague who I've found lives near by.

I was feeling fine about walking but they insisted I went in the car with them.

I agree with multiple posters though that is awful anyone should feel afraid to walk alone at night

Also wanted to add, DH wouldn't go out in the car because if he was in an accident (unlikely I know) he would have to come into contact with others and therefore break his isolation

I'd walk without giving it a second thought.

In my city, I’d walk. But it’s a small relatively safe city and after dark I can go by well -lit roads which are still busy-ish.

Thanks for update!

Oh and to those who thought DH wouldnt get me due to the covid risk to me, I had it first

And to those who said about me learning to drive, when I say I can't drive, perhaps I should have stated I cannot drive for temporary reasons. I used to but had a medical incident and have had my license stopped temporarily. I cannot wait till they hopefully allow me my license back, then this wouldn't ever be an issue again

I do walk around a lot in the dark even late at night, but through city streets, with an abundance of caution/awareness, money and cards in my bra, my phone fully charged, and enough money on me for a taxi. I also drive long distances by myself, including late at night with similar caution and breakdown cover.

I probably wouldn't along a main road (even with lots of traffic) but no houses or other open amenities, and certainly not through or alongside woodland or similar. Unless the alternative was worse.

(Although it was expensive, I got a taxi half the way home last night, due to public transport cancellations, and made sure someone knew where I was at each step, waited for the taxi the safest place I could find, etc.)

I know this approach won't always protect me, as things can and do happen anywhere. But there are limits to how much we can curtail ourselves. I'm not going to be confined to my home either, it's a very individual risk assessment. We shouldn't have to risk assess like this but unfortunately, we must.

OP, if once you have analysed it yourself, discussed it with other people (esp women), and still think it's okay, then do it. It's not up to your partner.

I would walk. I would walk listen to music, too, or a podcast but would keep one ear phone out so I can hear a bit. I'm not totally blasé with my safety but nor will I live in fear. Statistically I'm more likely to be abused or murdered in my own home, anyway.

@NotsoNeurotypical

I would walk. I would walk listen to music, too, or a podcast but would keep one ear phone out so I can hear a bit. I'm not totally blasé with my safety but nor will I live in fear. Statistically I'm more likely to be abused or murdered in my own home, anyway.

People always say this, but to individual winen these stats are pretty meaningless. Unless there is an intruder, i know with certainty i will not be abused or murdered in my own home. The fact that this happens to some women in their homes, does not increase my risk in mine. In the same way as I'm statistically more likely to be struck by lightening that win the lottery, if I never go out in a storm and do the lottery multiple times, this does not apply to me.

A lot of behavior is determined by previous experience. Personally, I regular use taxis, and Uber in the US. I've never had anything bad happen, and will continue to use them (in fact I often have no choice!).

In my early-20s, I use to run 2 miles to/from local sports club for training. I really enjoyed it, warm up on the way, cool down on way back home. I was threatened and assaulted by a group of 3 teens/20s, proceeded to sexual assault, and I believe would have went further only for I fought like hell and managed to get away. I was on a busy road, but dragged off within seconds.

I reported to the police at the time, with essentially nothing happening. That really annoyed me, because I think I knew of one them. Looking back I should have been more persistent and demanded follow up.

That experience stopped me running in the evenings. My DD does the same now of running to her local sport club, I fear for her, she knows my story, she thinks I'm silly.