To walk alone for 45mins at 8pm?

[imamumgetmeoutofhere]

Just that really.

Told my DH I would be walking home from work tonight, finish 8pm.

It takes around 40-45mins. There are no busses at this time. He feels I should get a taxi, mainly due to the attacks on women that have been published in the media recently. I've said I can't justify the expense and am more than happy walking, usually do if it's daylight. We live in a holiday resort area but it's along 3 fairly busy main roads so won't be in any isolated areas.

He usually collects me but he has covid so can't collect me and I don't drive.

AIBU to think its fine to walk home at this time of the day in the dark or should I follow his advise and get a taxi and claw the cost back elsewhere?

A taxi is probably only £7/8 but I've had some horrible experiences with them. I'd rather walk on busy lit roads. I go out quite late sometimes but never on unlit roads or paths out of the way, having been assaulted by a man in that environment previously.

Just because it’s the covid rules doesn’t mean it makes sense. Op should do whatever she feels most comfortable with and in my case I would go with the lift. I have had covid and went for socially distanced walks now and again while positive as my mental health was starting to affect me considerably more than the fairly mild dose of covid. Didn’t come close to anyone while out walking. Probably caught covid in the shops not while out for a walk

Impossible to say without knowing where you are to be honest.

I used to regularly run home from central London in the dark, sometimes pretty late. Always felt safe as along busy routes.

But everywhere round here seems to have stayed quieter in the evenings. Not sure if it’s still covid or winter or a combination of the two. But no where round here feels busy enough later at night for me to feel totally safe now. It’s the quietness that bothers me.

@AmadeustheAlpaca

Just because it’s the covid rules doesn’t mean it makes sense. Op should do whatever she feels most comfortable with and in my case I would go with the lift. I have had covid and went for socially distanced walks now and again while positive as my mental health was starting to affect me considerably more than the fairly mild dose of covid. Didn’t come close to anyone while out walking. Probably caught covid in the shops not while out for a walk

She's comfortable with walking. It's her husband who doesn't want her to walk.

I would do this without a second thought. I would make sure I had some sort of light (fully charged phone or hand torch), and might call someone using headphones if I was really worried, stick to well lit roads and just be aware of surroundings. I can see where everyone's coming from with the concern about this, and I appreciate it can happen to anyone etc, but are already getting a bit Handmaid's Tale in this world lately, I'm not going to give up my ability to move about independently whenever I want/need to.

It's so shit that women are having to ask this. I would in my area because it feels really safe but I am starting to question it and in a lot of areas I wouldn't even consider it.

This has made me so angry. And sad.

I walk most evenings in the dark, not very well lit either. There are dogwalkers around and it feels safe. I wouldn't do this anywhere but it's a quiet residential sort of place. I love walking at night and feel that 8pm is not that late.

I used to walk home on pretty much unlit roads in the country at 10pm after getting back from London and going to the gym. I didn't think anything of it as I'd missed the last bus, but when a male friend saw me and stopped to give me a lift he thought I was bonkers, gave me a right telling off.

I'd have no qualms doing it on busier main and lit roads, but I would certainly think twice about walking the route I used to take, having had a few situations on night time dog walks where teenagers were deliberately spooking people.

If it worries him that much, is there a neighbour or friend you could ask to pick you up?

He assumes you're safe with a taxi driver...which is sweet but a bit naive.

Women aren't safe anywhere TBH....I've been attacked by a taxi driver and on a bus in the middle of the day.

That being said I would still walk assuming it's not an especially unsafe area, it's well lit and no weird/spooky bits.

Unfortunately as women if we stayed in the house every time we weren't safe we wouldn't be able to do anything.

(On the other hand I'd get a taxi because I'm lazy and it's cold outside)

I’d walk too.

I'd do it, I hate living constrained be fear.

There are sensible precautions to take as matter of course:

Wear trainers or shoes/boots you can run in
Walk facing oncoming traffic so kerb crawlers can't sneak up behind you
Give alleyways and deep doorways where trouble could be brewing a wide berth
Keep an emergency number on speed dial

Taxi

Isn’t there a work colleague leaving at the same time that you could walk with or have a lift from as a one off? Or another relative that could collect you. If you don’t want to get a taxi. My DH would be exactly the same.

At 8pm I do x

I go out for a walk most nights around 8-9pm after supper - usually get 5000-8000 steps in. If I didn't I'd never get my steps in. But I feel safe where I live and I wear a head torch for the unlit roads and paths

@Roselilly36

Isn’t there a work colleague leaving at the same time that you could walk with or have a lift from as a one off? Or another relative that could collect you. If you don’t want to get a taxi. My DH would be exactly the same.

Perhaps you don't mean it but the 'my DH would be exactly the same' carries a whiff of my 'my manly protective man loves me so much and could not bear the thought of some beast doing something to me'. If I had a DH and he was 'exactly the same', I would be telling him to bugger off, not be smug about it.

If you do choose to walk just let DH know what time you’re leaving and the route so if you start feeling uncomfortable or he gets worried he can come and pick you up.

I go out for a walk most nights around 8-9pm after supper - usually get 5000-8000 steps in. If I didn't I'd never get my steps in. But I feel safe where I live and I wear a head torch for the unlit roads and paths

Same here. I often go out at 9 or 9:30 for my nightly walk. All roads are lit and I never feel unsafe in my neighbourhood. I don't like the idea what women should never be out alone after dark. Every circumstance is different.

I’d walk. I enjoy walking and frequently walk in the dark but only in lit areas. I am also fully aware my iPhone starts blaring a countdown to an auto emergency service call if I press the power button 3 times so I have my hand in my pocket a lot

Get your husband to drive and get you if he’s worried as he’ll be staying in the car!

Isn't this awful. That women are even needing to ask this question and that some of us feel under curfew, unless chaperoned, over the winter months. And even when they do go out walking at night they have to risk-assess constantly, consider what shoes they are wearing, ensure they don't have earphones on, etc etc.

I've heard horror stories about taxis too, but at least where I live these are logged on a central app, with credit card details taken before the journey and would make any passenger easily traceable.

I used to do this without even thinking twice about it but I think we've gone backward in recent years as far as endemic misogyny and a setback in women's rights are concerned. Anecdotally, it seems things have also become worse and felt far more threatening since the lockdowns. I no longer walk alone in the local woods even by day. It makes my blood boil: were this any other social group living under these kinds of constraint there would be an outcry.

It’s a tough call to make.
As a woman who was raped by a stranger, I think I would walk rather than get in a taxi. Wear sensible shoes, talk on the phone if you feel happier and stick to roads you’re familiar with.

If anyone starts to walk behind me I usually turn to look at them and most men back off as they realise I am worried.

If it was a residential area I’d walk quite happily.

I'd walk. I wouldn't even give it a second thought.
I walk to and from work at various times of the day and night thanks to shifts (6am, 10pm, midnight).

I walk through fairly quiet streets and not particularly well lit but it honestly doesn't even cross my mind to be concerned which is maybe a bit naïve.