To be irritated by this wedding invite?

[JukEki]

We have been invited to two child free weddings, both in June. We are going to attend both and are pulling in favours for childcare. However I can’t pretend that I’m not mildly irritated by the wording in one of the invites!

One invite said “Unfortunately bearing in mind we have limited guest numbers we cannot accommodate everyone’s children however this is a golden opportunity for parents to enjoy a night of relaxation and uninhibited revelry!”

The second simply said ‘ Whilst we love your children please note this is an adult only occasion’

The first annoyed me as actually it’s not going to be relaxing for me in the slightest, it’s quite inconvenient and expensive to not be able to bring the children and I’m more likely to be hand expressing in the toilets than dancing on a table.
It is absolutely the couple’s prerogative to have the wedding they want including making a decision to have no children- just own it and say so instead of dancing around it and pretending it’s a night off for me.

Happy to be told I’m unreasonable- first also contained a money poem which may be biasing me 😂

Agreed! We've had similar wording in invites, like they are doing you a massive favour of a child free occasion when actually it can be a pita to organise.
Really they should just own it like you say.

Very simple
Card wishing them well with no cash in it but a variation on their theme

Our life together has already begun,
We have sprogs so our budgets done
With paying for a babysitter to do
The childcare whilst we celebrate with you.
But most importantly, we will come
To come and join you in your day of fun.
Now that we’ve shelled out loads of dosh,
We can’t wait for you to celebrate with us!

@April506

I'm.bored of flash expensive weddings .. all show and no substance. Bring back the old days when you got married local wearing a borrowed frock then walked to the local pub and had a knees up in the back room. Kids sliding about the dancefloor in the spilt beer . The best man then shags one of the brides maids in the back of his old transit van. Pmsl .

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Exactly this!

@DustyDood

We used a poem in our invites to request no children. It seemed the nicest way to do it.

Your children mean the world to you and to us,
But we really don’t want to cause you any fuss.
So don’t bring them with you to our wedding,
And remember, cash please! (We already have bedding etc).

Haha excellent trolling!

Omg that money poem. Why do people do such cringe things at weddings!

can never understand why friends get offended that their children are not invited to weddings. Why on earth would you want to bring children to a good friends wedding.

Both wordings are fine. Young children are a pain in the cards at weddings and why wouldn’t they be? It’s a fucking long day where the expectation is to behave and parents seem rarely these days to actually look after them properly at big events.

I had none at my wedding and it was bliss. And no one, despite living their own children dearly, took issue. They realised that in the lifetime of their child a day off was a good exchange for a babysitter. If anyone had declined on the basis of what the hosts wanted on their day it would have been totally fine.

We all love our kids but shouldn’t expect everyone else to find them charming.

Do t get the problem with either invite, though these money poems are naff.
If people don't want to go to a wedding without their kids, just decline the invite. I can't imagine taking young kids to a wedding - they'd be bored rigid listening to adults talking and drinking all day and night, tired part way through and no doubt moaning to go home. PITA all round.

No children in my family and immediate friendship circle so much to my horror I’ve realised that if I get married, my wedding will be JOYLESS!!! Unless I can hire some kids? Does that count or would my ceremony still be miserable without the presence of very specific under 8s?

Worst wedding I went to was when a group of 6 or 7 year olds ran around helping themselves to food off other people’s plates whilst their parents got drunk and ignored them.

Best was a childfree one where a golden retriever was the ceremonial officiant. (Not invited to the reception as clearly that would’ve ended up like the worst wedding I went to.)

If I’m honest I don’t think I’d be annoyed with this, although I do see your point.

My cousin had a wedding a few years ago and only certain kids were invited, not mine or my sisters but my cousins kids were fine to go. Me and my sister were told that it was an adults only wedding, which we were fine with until we found out other kids were going.

Definitely wasn’t a nice feeling and we, along with many other family members didn’t end up attending.

Yeah I've been to a few weddings where children are around for the evening, parents can't relax, constantly telling their kids off, children complaining they are bored and crying, parents can't drink, have to go home early, puts a drag on the evening for those without children or who have sorted out childcare.

I can understand perspectives of both sides.

I think kids or no kids, either is fine, but brides and grooms need to appreciate more how expensive it can be for people to attend weddings. To imply that they are doing a massive favor by not inviting kids is disingenuous. A simple "Sorry no kids allowed" is fine.

We had a two couples without childcare at our wedding (DHs friends.) DH said bring them, both men said no thanks ‘I want to enjoy myself’ and came alone.

I can imagine their DW’s would be on here moaning about us not allowing their DCs to attend

Not offended by either. First is try to be polite, second is succinct. Wouldn't it be boring if we were all the same?

@MabelsApron

No children in my family and immediate friendship circle so much to my horror I’ve realised that if I get married, my wedding will be JOYLESS!!! Unless I can hire some kids? Does that count or would my ceremony still be miserable without the presence of very specific under 8s?

I thought you'd spent £100s on your friends with children and so they owed you the money it would cost them to get a babysitter...?

@Migrainesbythedozen I’ve always thought weddings were family occasions!
All those things you have listed I do not do,I go out once or twice a year with my husband and that’s it. Not everyone has your lifestyle so please don’t judge people by what you do. Not everyone can have easy access to childcare so if I’m invited to a wedding by someone who knows we have children and there not invited then I won’t go because in all honesty if I can only get a baby sitter once or twice a year then I would prefer to keep that to something that me and my husband would like to do. Were all entitled to our own opinion based on our own circumstances!!

jeez! Some venues only allow 100 guests. If most couples bring 2-3 kids the guest list is suddenly almost halved. I’m afraid to say you friends would prefer to invite one of their family or a friend over a child. Don’t take it personally

[quote skippink]@Migrainesbythedozen I’ve always thought weddings were family occasions!
All those things you have listed I do not do,I go out once or twice a year with my husband and that’s it. Not everyone has your lifestyle so please don’t judge people by what you do. Not everyone can have easy access to childcare so if I’m invited to a wedding by someone who knows we have children and there not invited then I won’t go because in all honesty if I can only get a baby sitter once or twice a year then I would prefer to keep that to something that me and my husband would like to do. Were all entitled to our own opinion based on our own circumstances!![/quote]
Weddings are family occasions, that doesn't mean you can't pick and choose who to invite! Not to mention that friends kids aren't your family anyway.

@MabelsApron

No children in my family and immediate friendship circle so much to my horror I’ve realised that if I get married, my wedding will be JOYLESS!!! Unless I can hire some kids? Does that count or would my ceremony still be miserable without the presence of very specific under 8s?

#prayformabelsapron

So much entitlement seen here. If the B&G want their kids, their siblings kids and some friends kids but not yours then that is their choice.

If they want none it’s their choice.

If you don’t want to go/can’t go, it’s your choice.

For the guests it’s just a day out. I wouldn’t be offended in the slightest if a guest couldn’t make it to my wedding - for any reason - as I understand that everyone has their own commitments.

To the pp who got annoyed that the B&G invited their siblings kids but not theirs, seriously get a grip. Of course they are going to invite closer child relatives than an extended relative’s offspring if they are inviting any.

I have never seen/heard of any angst about weddings in real life in the same way I read about on MN

I have never seen/heard of any angst about weddings in real life in the same way I read about on MN

Neither have I, but I have never been invited to a child free wedding.

I don’t know why people feel a need to dress up the wording. Just say “sorry, no children” and be done with it. My own wedding was not child free and I would have looked like a hypocrite if it was as my own DS was 2 and he was also my page boy. We had my DH’s cousin’s DD as flower girl plus we had 2 babies (our nephew and flower girl’s baby brother)
The children were wonderfully well behaved, even during the ceremony. I think people should give kids a bit more credit. They understand when they have to be quiet and serious even as toddlers.