To be irritated by this wedding invite?

[JukEki]

We have been invited to two child free weddings, both in June. We are going to attend both and are pulling in favours for childcare. However I can’t pretend that I’m not mildly irritated by the wording in one of the invites!

One invite said “Unfortunately bearing in mind we have limited guest numbers we cannot accommodate everyone’s children however this is a golden opportunity for parents to enjoy a night of relaxation and uninhibited revelry!”

The second simply said ‘ Whilst we love your children please note this is an adult only occasion’

The first annoyed me as actually it’s not going to be relaxing for me in the slightest, it’s quite inconvenient and expensive to not be able to bring the children and I’m more likely to be hand expressing in the toilets than dancing on a table.
It is absolutely the couple’s prerogative to have the wedding they want including making a decision to have no children- just own it and say so instead of dancing around it and pretending it’s a night off for me.

Happy to be told I’m unreasonable- first also contained a money poem which may be biasing me 😂

@GertrudeKerfuffle

YANBU!

I don't get the child-free wedding thing either. Weddings are family occasions and kids are a big part of families. I've only been to one child free wedding, where funnily enough they tried to sell it the same way - 'have a fun night off without the kids!' - they went so far as to exclude the groom's SIL who had a tiny breast-fed baby at the time Now, years later, that same bride's sister is engaged and making comments like 'I hope you're not going to have a child-free wedding' now that she's got two kids of her own

@GertrudeKerfuffle What's not to get? Weddings are not 'family' occasions. It's been explained over and over and over in the thread, weddings are adults only affairs. It's about entering a sexual relationship and involves riske' speeches. It's not for children. Plus children and breastfed babies screaming during the ceremony, running around, bumping into people with trays of food etc etc. Would you take your children to a meeting with a bank manager or marriage therapy? After all, they are about family, too. Some things are not appropriate for children, weddings are one of them.

@skippink

I’m not sure why it’s now more common for people to not invite children to weddings. I’ve been invited to a family members wedding but no kids are invited and so I refused the invite

@skippink It's always been common, it's only now that it's more common to invite children.

And I guess you refuse an invite to meet up with friends at a bar or a meeting with the bank manager or counselling with a counsellor, too, and Hens Nights because your children aren't invited and you need to have your children with you 24/7/365.

@GertrudeKerfuffle

YANBU!

I don't get the child-free wedding thing either. Weddings are family occasions and kids are a big part of families. I've only been to one child free wedding, where funnily enough they tried to sell it the same way - 'have a fun night off without the kids!' - they went so far as to exclude the groom's SIL who had a tiny breast-fed baby at the time Now, years later, that same bride's sister is engaged and making comments like 'I hope you're not going to have a child-free wedding' now that she's got two kids of her own

I agree but you're not allowed that opinion on here

It's about entering a sexual relationship and involves riske' speeches. It's not for children

I don’t know what shady weddings you’ve attended with the “riske” speeches but you don’t speak for the U.K. let alone the entire world. Weddings are no more adult occasions than christenings… they are a celebration of a union not some porny sex fest ( or else I’ve just not been getting the right invitations).

@Divebar2021

It's about entering a sexual relationship and involves riske' speeches. It's not for children

I don’t know what shady weddings you’ve attended with the “riske” speeches but you don’t speak for the U.K. let alone the entire world. Weddings are no more adult occasions than christenings… they are a celebration of a union not some porny sex fest ( or else I’ve just not been getting the right invitations).

love this Weddings are family occasions.

@Divebar2021 Weddings are about a couple entering into a sexual relationship. Christenings about about children specifically. A wedding is not. You are being ridiculous saying the two are even remotely alike.

I can't remember our wording but we put that it was preferable adult only as we couldn't make any entertainment for the kids etc but to let us know as your attendance is the most important. Ended up with 4 kids there. Most breastfeeding babies

It's about entering a sexual relationship and involves riske' speeches. It's not for children

Amazing! I feel I've missed out on these 50 shade's of grey weddings! Call me old fashioned but I like to thing my wedding day 23 years ago was more than vowing to have regular bonking sessions.

@cjpark

It's about entering a sexual relationship and involves riske' speeches. It's not for children

Amazing! I feel I've missed out on these 50 shade's of grey weddings! Call me old fashioned but I like to thing my wedding day 23 years ago was more than vowing to have regular bonking sessions.

@cjpark I think you're being disingenuous. Of course it's about more than that. However that's the crux of it isn't it?

Jesus Christ @Migrainesbythedozen I think you and I have attended very different kinds of weddings

I did however attend a church wedding where the father of the groom was the minister and went on in his sermon about a wife's duties in the bedroom as his son and new DIL stared at him in horror, but I'm pretty sure the children in attendance weren't scarred for life (or even listening)

@GertrudeKerfuffle 😂

I got married after 19 years of being together so I think that ship had long sailed

YANBA. Tbh, planning weddings turns most people into self obsessed twits. Uninhibited revelry? Wtf?

[quote Migrainesbythedozen]@Divebar2021 Weddings are about a couple entering into a sexual relationship. Christenings about about children specifically. A wedding is not. You are being ridiculous saying the two are even remotely alike.[/quote]
Well I suspect a good 99% of weddings take place way after the magical beginnings of a sexual relationship these days. Most weddings also manage to neither focus nor mention sex.

They are, however, good opportunities to see family and friends. It's kind of nice if they also get to meet the kids. If I had never been invited to a wedding as a child I'd probably have rarely met any of my parents' cousins, aunts and uncles. That's pretty sad really.

It is sad not to include the kids, but it is the couples choice. (What the blazes is 'hand expressing in the toilets' btw????)

I can see the reluctance to include children, but in my experience kids love being included in the occasion, and they can be quite entertaining particularly for older guests. However, there may be an impact on the catering costs and to offer to contribute to that to some extent may be a nice idea, and also to offer to go off early with unruly kids if there is a behaviour issue.

@GertrudeKerfuffle

YANBU!

I don't get the child-free wedding thing either. Weddings are family occasions and kids are a big part of families. I've only been to one child free wedding, where funnily enough they tried to sell it the same way - 'have a fun night off without the kids!' - they went so far as to exclude the groom's SIL who had a tiny breast-fed baby at the time Now, years later, that same bride's sister is engaged and making comments like 'I hope you're not going to have a child-free wedding' now that she's got two kids of her own

Weddings are only family occasions if you choose them to be. I barely know half my enormous family. If I invited them all and their kids there would be 120 people which is unmanageable. My friends are the ones who are there for me day to day not a random cousin or their kids. Strangely enough it's the couples wedding, they are the host, they get to choose who attends irrespective of what other peoples Ideas about wedding are.

The wording is over thought out! However, i really don't like children at the evening part of a wedding. We had friends babies and toddlers at our church service and for the drinks reception but not at the evening sit down reception.

I’m wondering if you will enjoy yourself or if it is just going to be too painful. My DS is 3 months old, I have been back to work since she was 2 weeks and have to pump every 3 hours for 20 minutes with an electric pump.
You have more milk at night and it takes me much longer to pump with a manual pump, both sides just under an hour. You’ll be spending a third of the time on the loo!
Can you borrow an Elvie or similar?
Das your DS take the bottle?

I'm.bored of flash expensive weddings .. all show and no substance. Bring back the old days when you got married local wearing a borrowed frock then walked to the local pub and had a knees up in the back room. Kids sliding about the dancefloor in the spilt beer . The best man then shags one of the brides maids in the back of his old transit van.
Pmsl .

We used a poem in our invites to request no children. It seemed the nicest way to do it.

Your children mean the world to you and to us,
But we really don’t want to cause you any fuss.
So don’t bring them with you to our wedding,
And remember, cash please! (We already have bedding etc).

@DustyDood

We used a poem in our invites to request no children. It seemed the nicest way to do it.

Your children mean the world to you and to us,
But we really don’t want to cause you any fuss.
So don’t bring them with you to our wedding,
And remember, cash please! (We already have bedding etc).

You didn't seriously send that poem did you?

Migrainesbythedozen

*@Divebar2021*Weddings are about a couple entering into a sexual relationship. Christenings about about children specifically. A wedding is not. You are being ridiculous saying the two are even remotely alike.

Well I suspect a good 99% of weddings take place way after the magical beginnings of a sexual relationship these days. Most weddings also manage to neither focus nor mention sex.

They are, however, good opportunities to see family and friends. It's kind of nice if they also get to meet the kids. If I had never been invited to a wedding as a child I'd probably have rarely met any of my parents' cousins, aunts and uncles. That's pretty sad really.

@mewkins this exactly. Suggesting that it is all about entering a sexual relationship makes it sound like a medieval royal wedding where the guests witnessed the bride and groom having sex for the first time. Perhaps that's why it's strictly adults only.

@Hathertonhariden why yes, we most certainly did!!

And I agree with @Migrainesbythedozen - the reason we didn’t want children attending is because weddings are the acknowledgment of a man and woman finally getting to boff each other. No place for under 18s.