To be irritated by this wedding invite?

[JukEki]

We have been invited to two child free weddings, both in June. We are going to attend both and are pulling in favours for childcare. However I can’t pretend that I’m not mildly irritated by the wording in one of the invites!

One invite said “Unfortunately bearing in mind we have limited guest numbers we cannot accommodate everyone’s children however this is a golden opportunity for parents to enjoy a night of relaxation and uninhibited revelry!”

The second simply said ‘ Whilst we love your children please note this is an adult only occasion’

The first annoyed me as actually it’s not going to be relaxing for me in the slightest, it’s quite inconvenient and expensive to not be able to bring the children and I’m more likely to be hand expressing in the toilets than dancing on a table.
It is absolutely the couple’s prerogative to have the wedding they want including making a decision to have no children- just own it and say so instead of dancing around it and pretending it’s a night off for me.

Happy to be told I’m unreasonable- first also contained a money poem which may be biasing me 😂

Will someone explain why, here in Britain couples are so against children at weddings. They are part of the family. In Spain it would be unimaginable.

Child-free couple nights are just a pain to organise at the best of times. If you want a night out it's easier to go with friends and then you don't have to organise a babysitter. Now DC are older we always take them when we go out for dinner. I know I am missing the point of the post.
I don't see the point in child-free weddings. It's much easier to take them.

@JukEki just to let you know, this has been picked up by the Sun and Mirror online so you may want to ask mumsnet to get rid of the thread if you are identifiable...

When my DC was 1month old, we were invited to a child-free wedding. DH was best man.I was breast feeding so had to express loads the day before.and leave about 9pm. The groom said can you not buy breast milk 🙄. Where from? A medieval wet nurse!

Here

Thing is if kids come host has to put on more entertainment for them. Parents get distracted and leave early. Yes it's costs money but ocassional nights out as a couple should be expected such as work do etc.

Why is it okay to discriminate against someone before of their age? What's next, no over 80s?

YANBU - exH andI had to go to several 'child free' weddings when my DCs were small. We usually left right as the dancing got started.

A few of the happy couples later ended up apologizing to all of their friends for both the wording of the invitations (they were like yours) and for not realizing how hard it is to find babysitters willing to stay so late. This was after the couples had babies themselves and had invitations to weddings they couldn't bring the babies to.

What goes around sometimes comes around.

I'm with you OP - it's wildly irritating to receive a wedding invitation that doesn't include your children, when the B&G then pretend they are doing it for your benefit! Firstly it's massively inconvenient as a parent to sort childcare etc, secondly childfree weddings are nowhere near as joyful as the ones where there are children of all ages playing and dancing at the reception, and thirdly I actually like my children and enjoy these events far far more if they are a part of them. I'm not saying I want to spend every second of every day with my children but for weddings etc I love them being there and enjoy it far more when they are. Luckily most weddings we go to include children, the two that haven't I couldn't wait to get away from as I was bored and just waiting to drive home. We went to one in the summer and my children had a fab time, made friends with distant relatives of the same age and spent time chatting to family we hadn't seen for years.

Don't get me started on money poems!

We didn't have kids at our wedding, we chose not to because we don't have kids of our own, no neices/nephews or little brothers and sisters and we aren't close to our friends' children. We also wanted to stick with a small wedding and a fair few of the party would have been toddlers. But we had a word with all of our friends who had kids (easy done it was small wedding) and didn't have a silly line which was obviously taken from a website - we just said something akin to the second invite

Well said, @Graphista

I disagree - kids hate weddings they get bored and whingey. We’ve tried it twice…it really isn’t fun. They don’t enjoy the speeches, the photos and then get tired. Babies cry. Toddlers complain.
We’ve tried it recently with older kids and DD liked getting dressed up and dancing for a bit, but then was bored.
I really do not understand why people think weddings with kids are better or easier.

I would much rather have a nice night and pay for a sitter.

We had loads of kids at our wedding. Some were well behaved, some were shocking but they were there and shared in the day. We are still in touch with all of them and it's lovely that they remember our day.

As a 2 yr old, in the silence after 'forever hold your peace', I announced loudly ' want potty'.

I always think it’s a shame that children are excluded so often from such a wonderful family celebration.

When I was a child in the 70’s, I had 13 cousins who were older and who all married in the 70’s. My siblings and I went to all the weddings and it was fabulous

Sounds like you don't really like the first couple so save yourselves and them some money and don't go! It's an invite not a royal command performance.

The thing I've learned is on MN anyone who has kids is going to be irritated by a child free wedding, but in reality we had one my friends with kids were quite happy about it, and believe me I have the type of friends who would have said if they have a problem with it.

If you can’t go or it’s inconvenient then just decline your invite. Weddings are hard to organise and I’m sure they just want their day as they have chosen ? I always find childcare a struggle but I wouldn’t want my kids shouting and stealing the show at a friends wedding. I wouldn’t waste my sneaky over the wedding, go or don’t

Waste my time analysing the wording. Not sure where sneaky came from !

I understand your frustration but these are pretty much off the shelf Hallmark notes. Chosen to help them share what can be a difficult message

Don't sweat the small stuff x

Oh fgs s

We’ve been invited to a wedding at the end of this year where children are not included in the invite. I can’t remember how it was worded but it didn’t irritate me, it’s their day, their choice. It’s going to be difficult to attend as our DC are young and we haven’t been away from them for a night before but we’re going to try our best. When my eldest was tiny and breastfeeding I turned down an invite to a close friend’s adult only wedding apologetically saying it wasn’t possible for me to leave my baby with anyone else. She ended up making an exception for me but to be honest, a wedding with a tiny baby either crying or drinking from me wasn’t a barrel of laughs and I would have rather given it a miss.

In short I think YABU to be irritated. If it’s not going to be fun or straightforward for you to go without your children then just decline the invite.

@DockOTheBay

"uninhibited revelry" I reckon they've got that off a website suggesting ways to phrase an adults only wedding. Nobody talks like that.

Uninhibited revelry in the late afternoon with all the dowager great aunts watching?

@JukEki

We have been invited to two child free weddings, both in June. We are going to attend both and are pulling in favours for childcare. However I can’t pretend that I’m not mildly irritated by the wording in one of the invites!

One invite said “Unfortunately bearing in mind we have limited guest numbers we cannot accommodate everyone’s children however this is a golden opportunity for parents to enjoy a night of relaxation and uninhibited revelry!”

The second simply said ‘ Whilst we love your children please note this is an adult only occasion’

The first annoyed me as actually it’s not going to be relaxing for me in the slightest, it’s quite inconvenient and expensive to not be able to bring the children and I’m more likely to be hand expressing in the toilets than dancing on a table.
It is absolutely the couple’s prerogative to have the wedding they want including making a decision to have no children- just own it and say so instead of dancing around it and pretending it’s a night off for me.

Happy to be told I’m unreasonable- first also contained a money poem which may be biasing me 😂

Not rtft OP but I completely agree with you. The idea that the only thing between you and a night of ‘uninhibited revelry’ is a lack of wedding invitations!

@threatmatrix

Don’t go then. Why would someone else’s wishes for their big day be annoying.

Agree, they are paying for the wedding they want, it is the couple's choice for Their big day.