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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find it a bit annoying my mil gave dds golliwogs for christmas?

184 replies

mrsshackleton · 28/12/2007 15:30

Mil is very right wing and hates all political correctness so among other things has presented my two dds with two gollys.She says they're not golliwogs they're jolly gollys and every child loves them, which of course the dds do. We're staying with her in the country now and I am saying to dh there is no way we can take them back to London as we will offend our friends having them lying round the house. He says if we don't take them, mil will be upset (she will). What do other mnetters think? I can see that a black doll on its own isn't intrinsically offensive but I also think it has connotations that could upset people and I know my mil has given them to be deliberately provocative. Ah, merry christmas every one!

OP posts:
Blu · 29/12/2007 10:54

Dejags - Gollies were desigend by white people to deliberately caricature the features that they (the white people) find notable - whites of eyes, etc -and to represent the popular bug-eyed 'minstrel' look. The outfit typically represents the servant look found in those models of black servant children used as little side-tables.

I just wouldn't want one or buy one for DS - but wouldn't immediately assume that anyone who had one was a rabid racist.

stockingfiller · 29/12/2007 11:00

have only read op
i had a golywog as a child never did me any harm!
when away on holiday mil saw them and was going to get one for dd but didnt as she wasnt sure my family would like seeing it lying around!
i was dissapointed that she didnt get it tbh

UnquietDad · 29/12/2007 11:12

It's interesting - I had two golliwogs among my soft toys as a child, and it never evn occurred to me that these were supposed to be caricatures of black people. I'd not even made the connection, even though I was aware of the "w-" insult. They were just soft toys with black faces and fuzzy hair. Totally harmless.

cornsilk · 29/12/2007 15:51

I've just read the link on the first page. I hadn't known about the history etc. We never had any gollys and I don't remember any of my friends having them either, so it was never an issue. I did want one of the Robertsons badges as some of my friends had them, but my mum would never let me send off for them. I wonder if it's cos she felt uncomfortable about them.

MrsSchadenfreude · 29/12/2007 20:25

I have the golly on the page that Kindersurprise linked to - the one with stripy trousers. I also have a black velvet one which is Victorian. And the Enid Blyton book, plus Little Black Sambo. All stashed safely away - do not let the DDs play with them.

minouminou · 30/12/2007 01:31

if your MIL has done this in order to be provocative, then deal with this issue according to the spirit she intended, and stash or lose them, and just don't mention them again.
PC or non-pC aside, she's doing it to be awkward, so don't give her the oxygen, as it were.

fortyplus · 30/12/2007 01:38

I had a golly as a child - I also knew black people but didn't make any connection between the two.

M-i-l bought my children a golly some years ago, but I asked that it stayed at her house as many people now find them offensive. A young child would love it as merely another cuddly plaything with a friendly face, but the image stems from racial stereotyping that is no longer acceptable.

discoverlife · 30/12/2007 01:39

Are you going to tell off any coloured friends you have that you think its insulting for them to have dolls with white skin.

fortyplus · 30/12/2007 01:42

But they wouldn't be snow white with big silly grins and dressed as a servant, would they?

newnamefornewyearbookwormmum · 30/12/2007 01:58

I had a Golly watch and beanie hat as a child which I loved - I was really disappointed when they were dropped as a marketing campaign by Robinsons' jam. I never associated the doll with anyone being black tbh but I must admit in retrospect, it leaves a nasty taste in the mouth to see what the doll was originally based on .

Not sure what I'd do tbh.

MarsyChristmas · 30/12/2007 02:25

discover... gollys don't look like me. White dolls (apart from Bratz, Barbie and the like) tend to look like white babies. Also... I find the word coloured offensive (but that's just to let you know, you've not upset me with it but lots of black people are offended by it).

discoverlife · 30/12/2007 10:50

Can't you tell I live so far in the country that farmers know their cows 'individually', and every single person is lilly white. As a matter of ettiquette what is the best way to describe the different racial groups, please?
I have never lived anywhere that has a racial mix, It absolutly does not bother me the colour of a persons skin, but I do not know the ettiquette. If I meet someone I call them by their name, but this topic has thrown up the question of race etc. so rather than step on toes I would take it kindly if you clarified it for me.

Mommalove · 30/12/2007 11:14

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discoverlife · 30/12/2007 17:18

There I go again showing my age. It was considered a definate no-no when I was younger (about 20 years ago) to call someone black, nearly on par with nigger. So thanks for that.
God the number of times Ive used the word coloured thinking I was being polite. Cringe almighty.

Mommalove · 30/12/2007 20:29

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MaryAnnSingleton · 30/12/2007 20:31

I had gollies as a child and those plastic black dolls with rings in their ears,and collected Robertson's golly badges and figures... however, I'd take your gollies home so as not to upset MIL but put them away somewhere so as not to offend anyone who might be offended...

motherinferior · 30/12/2007 20:34

I would bin them.

I am, incidentally, mixed race but white skinned.

peacelily · 30/12/2007 20:47

Strangely enoygh we had exactly the same situation last year. MIL yurned up with a hand knitted golly for dd. She was only 3 months so she took no notice.

I felt v uncomforatble about it so it now lives behind a book case where it accidentally dropped .

Can't give it to a charity shop either or to another friends child or a local paed ward either so it's just there....lurking

MaryAnnSingleton · 30/12/2007 20:49

i've never seen any since I was little though - didn't think people had them these days

smallwhitecat · 30/12/2007 20:49

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geekymummy · 30/12/2007 20:50

As a black woman I'd be mightily peed off if someone gave DD a "golly".

But if DD was old enough, I'd try to use it as a way to explain why racial stereotypes are wrong.

moljam · 30/12/2007 20:55

if my children had any- i doubt id even think about them.theyre dolls and if my children liked them thats all that matters.

Elasticwoman · 30/12/2007 20:55

It is probably a bit late to convert mil to political correctness. Your dilemma reminds me of when my mil bought one of our dc Little Black Sambo, a vvv un-pc book. Very popular book in its day, from around the time of Rudyard Kipling, it is hard to tell whether the eponymous hero is African, Asian or even Carribbean. I probably ruined the story for our dc by criticising it as I read it!

I don't really see why dark skinned humans shouldn't be represented by toys we give our children. There is no subtext of golliwogs being in any way inferior or subordinate to other dolls and teddy bears, or if there is it has passed me by.

margoandjerry · 30/12/2007 20:57

There's an argument for saying that gollies are no more a stereotype of black people than a raggedy annie type rag doll is a stereotype of a white person. Rag dolls have simplified faces and raggedy hair because they are simple dolls made out of rags. As for the representation of minstrels, aren't minstrels just wandering singers? The B&W Minstrels (as in the tv programme) were offensive because they were white people blacked up and mimicking black people for some reason but minstrels themselves are just singers, aren't they?

But.

I would feel uncomfortable about having one because they are deemed offensive by some. And really, who needs to have an offensive toy when you could just have one that everyone can enjoy innocently?

BTW, I do very much agree with the PC rebranding I discovered today: as a child I had an old and much loved copy of Little Black Sambo which is a fantastic book and Little Black Sambo is the clever hero of the book...but the title is . I found it today under a new name: The story of Little Babaji. Fabulous.

margoandjerry · 30/12/2007 20:59

Sorry, didn't realise so many people had already posted about Little Black Sambo.

But seriously, it's a great story. He turns the tigers into butter - I mean, come on!