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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell my DH that the romantic hotel he booked is a waste of money??

88 replies

Flame17 · 28/12/2007 12:50

My DH booked a 2 night break at a B&B costing £240, I think this is excessive, especially for the place he's booked. We had 1 night there last year and I thought it was a waste of money then!

I have told him that I feel its very expensive for the hotel and we could get a far cheaper hotel, after all its the time together thats important.

He has taken the hump with me, even though I keep telling him I appreciate the gesture and I want to have a break with him, i just feel our limited cash could be better spent on a cheaper hotel.

Have I been unreasonable? Should I just back down and shut up?

OP posts:
Flibbertinseljinglebells · 28/12/2007 12:54

As I have been desperate now for 18 months for even 5 minutes away from my two kiddies and the thought of you having two KIDDIE FREE nights in a posh hotel is making me nearly cry with envy

YES YOU ARE BEING BLOODY UNREASONABLE!!!!!

(But agree it seems a lot of money for a b&b )

chocchipchristmascake · 28/12/2007 12:55

YABU. Give the man a break, stop micro-managing, lie back and enjoy yourself!

cheeset · 28/12/2007 12:55

if its his money YABU if its both of your money then no.

WideWebWitch · 28/12/2007 12:56

Er yes, shut up. He's trying to do a nice kind thoughtful thing, don't throw it back in his face. I also think that's fine for 2 nights (but I am a 5* habitue!)

staryeyed · 28/12/2007 12:56

"lie back and enjoy yourself"

snigger

Original poster
Flame17 · 28/12/2007 12:57

The hotel is far from Posh, It's not worth £100 let alone £240!

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 28/12/2007 12:58

OK, then, let's find you somewhere nicer for that budget. Rough location?

chocchipchristmascake · 28/12/2007 13:02

No, no, no WWW. It's not about us doing anything. Leave this poor man alone!

glaskham · 28/12/2007 13:02

how far do you want to travel?....how much money would you loose if you cancelled?...you could stay in the savoy or imperial in blackpool for less than that....or even the hilton here!!....2 nights kid free would be heaven, but i wouldn't pay for what your dh has!!

cheeset · 28/12/2007 13:03

can you tell us what its called and where it is so we can be nosey

Sorry ladies, I would be annoyed if my dh booked this out of a joint account because i'd be paying for something I wasn't happy with.

Now I'd be dead chuffed he'd managed to book it on his own and organised the childcare but It still wouldn't sit very well.

I could have bought loads of stuff for my dh out of the current joint account for him for crimbo and he would have been pleased but after the big day you/I always reflect....

I'm not twight or skinflint but I do cleaning for 10pound per hour and what the op's dh has just spent, thats a lot of cleaning hrs worked DYSWIM?

VictorianSqualor · 28/12/2007 13:03

I think it's lovely that he has tried, but if it's not worth it then I can understand you wanting to tell him.
May I ask why you were there last year? It could be that the money and the state of the place don't matter and that he is trying to recreate something. Which IMO is mroe romantic and thoughtful than a posh hotel with no meaning.

DaddyCool · 28/12/2007 13:05

he's a man. he threw money at something he thought may cover his arse for christmas. If you're not keen just cancel it. He'll not take the huff for too long as he's probably more embarrassed that he screwed up the present and now looks like a wally. it'll be in his mind until the next shiny thing attracts his eye to distract him or he catches a glimpse of a long leg or bit of boobie on the telly

cheeset · 28/12/2007 13:05

good point VicSqualor

Original poster
Flame17 · 28/12/2007 13:05

Thanks for the offer but I think I have annoyed him too much. I do appreciate the time with him and the break from the kids and I would happily let him spend £240 on a lovely hotel but the place he's chosen is just not upto much

OP posts:
Hulababy · 28/12/2007 13:06

YABU. He has gone to the effort of looking into and booking a romantic break away for the two of you. Why not just go and enjoy it. Feel for your DH.

DaddyCool · 28/12/2007 13:08

don't feel for her DH!!! The whole transaction probably took exactly 3 minutes on the internet!! He probably booked the first one on the search engine list!

WideWebWitch · 28/12/2007 13:09

THe thing is he wants you to be pleased that he's been thoughtful and he wants your approval. And presumably he wants some time with you. And if he's trying to recreate something then as someone else said, that's romantic and thoughtful.

So, agree, we shouldn't find anywhere else, you should apologise imo and tell him you're looking forward to it. I think if you think it's REALLY grotty then you could say you're grateful but would he mind if you looked for another hotel.

Original poster
Flame17 · 28/12/2007 13:09

It's Aphrodites lodge here in the lakes. Looks good on paper but my experience last year was it was tired, in need of a revamp, not very clean and food was poor. We were there last year for the anniversary of when we met and it will be the same this year, I just don't get why he rebooked it!

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 28/12/2007 13:10

Surely it's not thast grotty, £120 a night is highish for b&b (but low for a hotel imo).

cheeset · 28/12/2007 13:10

Desperate to know name of hotel

I'd re-book if I were you. I wouldn't put him through anymore stress on the matter and I would do it all myself. Trouble is, if its crap its on your shoulders

With the savings you make on the hotel, arrange a bottle of bubbly for the room on arrival and surprise him with something for him maybe.

However, you may be up against a bit of male ego and alpha male thing so may possibly be worth going with what he's booked? >>backing down slightly

WideWebWitch · 28/12/2007 13:12

Hmm, tripadvisor reviews

VictorianSqualor · 28/12/2007 13:13

"We were there last year for the anniversary of when we met"
Thats why he booked it!

WideWebWitch · 28/12/2007 13:13

Have to say I don't go a bundle on themed places but as I say I am v fussy.

DaddyCool · 28/12/2007 13:14

oh please cheeset. something for him? back down at the sign of male childishness? c'mon, it's her present! if he's anything like me, he probably ended up with a pile of lovely things that suited him perfectly. I alway struggle at xmas as I know DW will get me some fantastic and imaginative stuff. She's the 'present-master'.

Hulababy · 28/12/2007 13:15

Why not think of it as not the hotel being worth it, but he thinks YOU are worth it.