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AIBU?

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Original poster

Child safeguarding- who is right?

273 replies

sparkycats · 22/01/2022 19:20

Who is right in this situation?

My DH is one of the coaches for a children's sports team which DS attends. The coaches are all volunteers giving up there own time to coach the teams which all their dcs attend along with other dcs. It's busy up at the venue with lots of other teams playing of all different ages with matches against away teams too with other parents and dcs.

On the coaches group they get a message from a disgruntled parent saying that her DH arrived to pick her child up at the venue afterwards and no-one was there, they were worried about where their dc was and when they went home they found their dc9 had walked home alone. The dc had said everyone left and he was all alone so decided to walk home.

Discussions happen on the group and it turns out several of the coaches were still there 20 minutes after pick up time, and had not seen this child. More coaches comment that they saw this child on their way out at the end when coaches etc were all still around. They stopped him and asked if he was ok, he said he was, they assumed he was allowed to walk home alone. Turns out he had been dropped off unattended and the parents were late to collect.

The club is very lax on safeguarding, parents aren't told implicitly that they have to stay but all other parents do. There is no sign in/sign out procedure. Coaches keep an eye out for the kids during/after the matches as much as they can. But it's not an official club, it's run totally by volunteers and payment for membership is paid annually.

This parent/ child has form.

Who is right?

OP posts:
CrapDrawer · 22/01/2022 19:46

A nine year old child cannot be held responsible in this situation. To say they could have told a coach is pointless. The adults should be making sure all the children are safe!

RepentMotherfucker · 22/01/2022 19:49

9 year olds say all sorts though don't they?

The club is responsible and AFAIK if something happened to that child(hit by car) the individuals responsible would be personally liable i.e. they could go to prison. Which is the sort of information that usually sharpens people's view of things I find.

'But his parents are shit' wouldn't be an amazing defence.

callycustard · 22/01/2022 19:49

The parents should either stay for the coaching session or arrive on time to pick them up. Coaches do have a duty of care but they aren't babysitters. The parents have a cheek complaining when they were the ones late for their own kid!

Littleducks · 22/01/2022 19:50

If its not stated explicitly just assumed/implied that parents stay maybe easiest for everyone if it is just stated explicitly from now on. Children remain parents responsibility and either parent or nominated other person must remain onsite.

fishonabicycle · 22/01/2022 19:52

The parents - the volunteers are giving up their free time to train a youth team. They are not babysitters. The parents need to either stay and watch, or make sure they have arranged for their child to get home.

Original poster
sparkycats · 22/01/2022 19:52

@FawnFrenchieMum

Child definitely shouldn’t have been allowed to leave alone with a coach having express permission from a parent.

The whole safeguarding policies need reviewing.

They wouldn't have been. At the end of the match the dcs normally have a pep talk and then go to parents on the side line and go home. They would have assumed he had gone to a parent and gone home. This isn't monitored really, all parents except them stay.

Yes- the people who saw him walking home alone probably should have questioned it. This child has form for lying though so I wouldn't have been surprised if he'd lie anyway and say he had permission.

OP posts:
GingerAndTheBiscuits · 22/01/2022 19:54

They would have assumed he had gone to a parent and gone home.

This is their mistake. They cannot assume. They need to SEE a parent collect the child.

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 22/01/2022 19:55

All the coaches need to do is agree which of them is responsible for seeing everyone off at the end of each session. That person then has to make sure that all kids have been picked up and are accounted for before leaving.

Any parents who are late to pick up get 1 warning. If they're late again the kid is suspended for an agreed amount of time. Make it clear to all parents that that is the rule and stick to it.

SNUG2022 · 22/01/2022 19:55

The club is responsible for this child and they need systems and procedures putting in place. They need safeguarding training and parent's contact details.

LIZS · 22/01/2022 19:56

Yes- the people who saw him walking home alone probably should have questioned it. This child has form for lying though so I wouldn't have been surprised if he'd lie anyway and say he had permission.

Safeguarding is everyone's responsibility, so the parents were correct to ask.

Datsandcogs · 22/01/2022 19:56

Both are wrong.

The club needs to be explicit in whether children are to be supervised by parents or if the volunteers are ‘in loco parentis’. If parents can leave their children at the club then they need a system to sign children in and out that everyone understands and agrees to.

Quartz2208 · 22/01/2022 19:56

You cannot assume. This is totally the clubs fault - you are taking a yearly membership as well and has coaches so I am not sure what you mean by official because it sounds like a locally run sports team.

They need proper procedures in place

Original poster
sparkycats · 22/01/2022 19:57

@FawnFrenchieMum

Not sure why anyone’s saying the parents are wrong (unless they are late every week), I assume it was a one off. Can’t quite understand why the parent didn’t come in and ask where the child was though and would just go home. All sounds a bit odd.
The jist i am getting is that they were so late everyone had left. If this child has hung around and said he's parents weren't there the coaches or another parent would 100% have stayed with him.

This child and parents do have form for thinking that the rules don't apply to them. The child lies a lot and the patents take his word for it in any situation. The parents routinely leave him unattended, all other parents stay routinely.

OP posts:
GingerAndTheBiscuits · 22/01/2022 19:57

Club also needs a policy for late/non-collection by parents, as most schools and childcare providers have.

Original poster
sparkycats · 22/01/2022 19:59

@CrapDrawer

The parents were silly to leave their cubism without ensuring someone was taking over their care but the club should have far more robust procedures in place.

Are these volunteers all DBS checked?

No, my DH wasn't. But the kids are never left alone with the kids. Parents always watching nearby.
OP posts:
GingerAndTheBiscuits · 22/01/2022 19:59

Then someone needs to tell the parents the expectation is they stay to watch in future or the child will not be allowed to participate

underneaththeash · 22/01/2022 20:01

they need to make patents sign to say that they understand that this activity is coached but not supervised and a parent must stay on site at all times.

LowlyTheWorm · 22/01/2022 20:01

This child and parents do have form for thinking that the rules don't apply to them.
The issue is there are no rules? The club cannot blame the child and if the parents drop and leave the child when they have been explicitly told to stay then 1. Ask them to not bring the child again or 2. Call the police and say the child has been left unattended.

LIZS · 22/01/2022 20:01

Are any volunteers dbs checked? What happens if dc need the loo, for example, especially if facilities are shared with other groups?

Original poster
sparkycats · 22/01/2022 20:02

@radishandbrie

I think the group should get urgent advice on how they run the group. This issue has highlighted that they don't have a clear plan Sport England give plenty of advice to volunteer led sports groups about safeguarding procedures.
Yes thanks. I am going to ask dh to comment on the group and suggest they put some safeguards in place. It seems the only thing they are planning on doing is emailing parents to say that parents must stay.

Are the club still responsible if parents are staying? I don't think it's ever been explicitly said they have to stay but as I said all parents do.

OP posts:
Peas252 · 22/01/2022 20:02

Parents always watching nearby
Well, that's untrue. This child's parents were no where nearby.

Fucket · 22/01/2022 20:02

My ds attends a similar club, in fact you could’ve been talking about my sons sports club. When I signed him up I went along and asked them who my son should report to and who was responsible for Ensuring kids got back to parents at end of session (I wanted to go shopping). It soon became apparent there were no real safeguards and I will never leave my child unattended as often training is outside in a public park.

I get the same response, “we’re all volunteers.” That’s not going to stand in a court of law. I volunteer to help with my dd’s dance group as a chaperone, but I will never volunteer for my sons club, as I wouldn’t want to be legally responsible for the children when there is no safeguards in place.

UpDownRound · 22/01/2022 20:02

I really don't think you're getting it OP. The parents can be as shit as you like but it doesn't matter. Parents need to be told explicitly they must stay with their child. Otherwise coaches need to make sure every child is accounted for, even if that means parents that are there watching have to tell a coach they are taking their child home. Child lying etc is irrelevant - they're 9. Fact it is busy is also irrelevant - there needs to be a system in place that works in spite of the fact it's busy.

BringBackCoffeeCreams · 22/01/2022 20:03

All of my son's clubs are like this. The kids are just released en masse. The coaches have no idea if parents are there or not. I've drilled it into DS that if I'm not there he goes back inside and tells his coach that nobody has collected him. The parents know the set up and put their son in this situation by turning up late and not teaching him what to do if that ever happens. This is on them.

UpDownRound · 22/01/2022 20:04

Typed my post before reading your most recent update.