Horrified at 7month old in pizza express with screen

[MadeinSW3]

I went for lunch today at pizza express, there was a couple giving their ?7month old a bottle with a screen propped up with something Disney to watch. They then plopped baby into high chair and put something else on during whole time at the stable. How can people be so stupid! The baby was looking around elsewhere for something more interesting.

@Giraffesandbottoms it’s not common sense at all.

Of course it’s right to delete the comment saying there is a correlation if there isn’t in fact a correlation, you just make up stuff to suit yourself. There’s no research to back this up at all. There might be a correlation over a certain number of hours a day but 30 mins screen time here or there, I would bet money on, has absolutely no correlation to ss involvement whatsoever. Unless you can find a study to back it up then it’s just your opinion.

*you can’t just make stuff up to suit yourself

@TameDucksAtChatsworth

I think we do, as a society, have to grasp the nettle of being judgemental.

We can't explain all bad behaviour away by saying it might only be a snapshot and we don't know what is going on in people's lives.

Sometimes, we have to say that we don't give a shit what is going on in people's lives if they are being neglectful or cruel to their children.

Children's rights have come before their parent's rights to being understood and I don't think Social Services should bend over backwards to keep children with inadequate, neglectful or cruel parents. The child's physical safety comes first or it should.

Do I think giving a screen to a baby is neglectful or cruel? No, I don't.

But none of us should ever be afraid of poking our nose in.

There is, very obviously, a world of difference between having valid justifiable concerns about a child's safety and being a goady fucker on an internet forum.

At least, there is to anyone with an ounce of sense which seems in pretty short supply on this thread.

@Hospedia

it’s outrageous your comment was deleted. It’s pretty bad to censor an opinion like that

1. It was conjecture not fact

1. It was not censorship, it obviously broke the rules otherwise it wouldn't have been deleted

1. I saw rhe deleted post before it went and it was vile, not to mention classist

It was fact based on my personal experience - there was no basis for its deletion.

It was fact based on my personal experience - there was no basis for its deletion.

It's a personal opinion then, not fact! No research other than yours.

I'd have been horrified too. I always used to prop a Shakespeare play up in front of my DCs when they were little.

If the baby was looking around for something more interesting then they probably found something more interesting to look at, didn't they. And the parents got to have a bit of adult conversation and a lunch they didn't need to cook or clear up. Sounds like everyone won.

It was fact based on my personal experience - there was no basis for its deletion.

Personal experience is not the same as general fact. It is YOUR experience. Nothing more.

@BABAHOTEL

It was fact based on my personal experience - there was no basis for its deletion.

It's a personal opinion then, not fact! No research other than yours.

Not sure what your point is. I was not professing to have undertaken a 20 year longitudinal study! My point was simply that in my experience there is a correlation between screen time and neglect - it is really not difficult to grasp. It should not be seen as innocuous in all cases (which is what PP suggest which is simplistic and driven by their own defensiveness).

[quote Piglet89]@FOTTFSOFTFOASM

Um... I don't feel in the slightest bit judged by any of that.

Ah, I see: presumably, you’re saying, “I don’t care what you think about my life choices”.

Right back atcha.[/quote]
@Piglet89

Not so much "I don't care what you think about my life choices", as that's a kind of aggressive way to look at it (and I have no doubt that I've made some pretty crap choices, but they have on the whole been accidental - hence I've tried to eliminate the deliberate ones!) More that I, calmly and without any kind of stroppiness, don't feel judged.

This kind of discussion on MN is nothing new, though. It was the same 20 years ago, but then it was about "TV time", rather than portable screens (and, obviously, nobody was taking their telly to Pizza Express).

I know people have all kinds of reasons for making their decisions, but I very strongly believe that our job is to model the kind of behaviour we want them to demonstrate as adults. You can't give a baby a screen at the dinner table, then feel fed up years later when you have a teenager who can't get through a meal without looking at their phone. Anyway, those are just musings.

Eat your dinner and mind your business 😊

@Fhjutftjvddww not defensive, mine were too old for screens (they weren't around when babies), but I'll stand up and fight for others not to judge. You state it as fact, it is not, it's your opinion and quite rightly it was a vile comment that's been deleted.

Letting a baby watch a screen while parents eat for 20 minutes a day is ABSOLUTELY FINE.

@Fhjutftjvddww

Well just the same that it can be the one 30 mins a day that a child is not lavished with attention, in other cases it may be the tip of the iceberg. As someone mentioned upthread why are we demanded to think the best of those who do this, but only think the worst of those who criticise it. We all need to be vigilant and put children first.

No. You need to get yourself some sort of hobby and stop talking shite on the internet.

Agree OP. It’s so rough. I can’t bear lazy parents who use screens, I definitely judge them.

[quote BABAHOTEL]@Fhjutftjvddww not defensive, mine were too old for screens (they weren't around when babies), but I'll stand up and fight for others not to judge. You state it as fact, it is not, it's your opinion and quite rightly it was a vile comment that's been deleted. [/quote]
Read my posts - I went to a session where I witnessed a discussion on this. What do you want a signed affidavit? A part of neglect is failing to give your child adequate attention. I have worked in this field, but it not difficult for a lay person to understand.

Theres no way I'm reading this entire thread but I might think it's a shame from a joint attention angle. Depends on how often the parent do it which no one knows.

But I hate it when anyone listens to their phone without headphones in public places. It's the hight of selfishness. I dont want to listen to your kids shite or football or anything and I always moves far away as possible. I had someone sit next me in with the phone on full volume. How can anyone be so unaware. Mind boggles.

I agree with you OP!

@DynamiteFilledRadish if you dismiss my comment you are part of the problem.

Jesus get a life 🤣 you're so judgemental, I can't stand people like you, so superior in every way 🙄

Catch a grip

@Thewiseoneincognito

Agree OP. It’s so rough. I can’t bear lazy parents who use screens, I definitely judge them.

🤣🤣 judge away, we don't care 🤷‍♀️ parents who don't use screens aren't better parents than those who do.

I always let my little children watch screens when we were out. Yes, I'm one of those parents. Both are currently in top set of Math and English, swim competitively, had larges roles in their school drama productions ... The "horror" of a littles screen time while we eat is hilarious. I just had to buy my two new screens because everything school related in on a screen.

Personally I'd never give a 7 month old a phone. Mainly I'd be worried they'd drop and break it and it's not something I can afford to replace but sitting in a restaurant as another customer id just be glad the baby wasn't screaming. Doesn't sound like they were watching it anyway so where's the issue. Just looking around is great for them .

I'd have preferred to do that as a) a parent so I could perhaps get a break to eat and b) as another customer not being disturbed by screaming baby!

Read my posts - I went to a session where I witnessed a discussion on this. What do you want a signed affidavit? A part of neglect is failing to give your child adequate attention. I have worked in this field, but it not difficult for a lay person to understand.

Take it up with MNHQ, I'm sure they'll happily explain exactly why your post was deleted.