Horrified at 7month old in pizza express with screen

[MadeinSW3]

I went for lunch today at pizza express, there was a couple giving their ?7month old a bottle with a screen propped up with something Disney to watch. They then plopped baby into high chair and put something else on during whole time at the stable. How can people be so stupid! The baby was looking around elsewhere for something more interesting.

@Fhjutftjvddww

What precisely is wrong with me saying that a parenting course I attended was focused on addressing the very parenting techniques that are being defended on this thread, for the precise reason that it results in poor outcomes and can be indicative of other deficiencies in parenting that result in SS intervention is utterly beyond me. Give the terrible reports about neglect and abuse in this country I find it seriously concerning that a reference to this correlation has been deleted.

Because you're somehow linking babies having a bit of screen time and the people defending it as parents who are borderline abusive or need reporting to SS.

But you already know that. Your comments are vile. Otherwise MN wouldn't have removed them.

@Fhjutftjvddww

What precisely is wrong with me saying that a parenting course I attended was focused on addressing the very parenting techniques that are being defended on this thread, for the precise reason that it results in poor outcomes and can be indicative of other deficiencies in parenting that result in SS intervention is utterly beyond me. Give the terrible reports about neglect and abuse in this country I find it seriously concerning that a reference to this correlation has been deleted.

Because it was a ridiculous and insulting comment.

HTH

Well just the same that it can be the one 30 mins a day that a child is not lavished with attention, in other cases it may be the tip of the iceberg. As someone mentioned upthread why are we demanded to think the best of those who do this, but only think the worst of those who criticise it. We all need to be vigilant and put children first.

@Fhjutftjvddww

Well just the same that it can be the one 30 mins a day that a child is not lavished with attention, in other cases it may be the tip of the iceberg. As someone mentioned upthread why are we demanded to think the best of those who do this, but only think the worst of those who criticise it. We all need to be vigilant and put children first.

Stop projecting and stop judging other parents, it's unpleasant and you don't come across as oh so caring, you come across as judgemental and thinking you're a better parent.

Do you think Arthur was given screen time? No of course he wasn't he wasn't allowed anything. So your "analogy" fails there doesn't it?

@Fhjutftjvddww

What precisely is wrong with me saying that a parenting course I attended was focused on addressing the very parenting techniques that are being defended on this thread, for the precise reason that it results in poor outcomes and can be indicative of other deficiencies in parenting that result in SS intervention is utterly beyond me. Give the terrible reports about neglect and abuse in this country I find it seriously concerning that a reference to this correlation has been deleted.

Will you get a grip.

@TimBoothseyes

This thread feels like a council-run parenting course when they go around the circle and people say what they do and the trainers makes neutral sounds of acknowledgement. It is grim and depressing like most of MN

How would you know that a council-run parenting course is actually like this? Unless of course you've either been on one or you were on of the trainers.

I assumed the poster had been on such a course. Not sure why that's an issue!

@sarah13xx

I think the main reason it won’t be popular on here is because screen time is now so normalised for babies/children. I totally get that some days maybe someone just can’t take another second of tantrums etc and needs a breather but I do think it’s now almost expected that you’ll give your child a phone or tablet rather than expected that you won’t which is bizarre 🤔

I’m an infant teacher and I’ve noticed a HUGE change in children’s behaviour/attention span in the last few years since iPads etc have become so popular for young children. So many teaching staff are on their knees because the job is just becoming impossible now. We occasionally use them as part of a lesson and a worrying number of the children almost become possessed whenever they see the iPads or laptops are out. They need the iPad and can’t concentrate on anything else until it’s their turn. Before ever having my own child this made me so determined to never let this be my child when they’re older. At uni I studied the fact screens actually change your child’s brain if they are given them before age 3.

Realistically why would a child have any interest in what a teacher at a board has to say if they’re used to flashing lights, songs and instant access to almost anything they want at their fingertips? A teacher just can’t compete with that when so many children have their iPad for the entire time they aren’t at school. Now I have a baby of my own and I’m very much anti-screens but I have to be very subtle about it so as not to offend any of my friends who do allow their child screen time. I think the awkward moment may come when we go out for dinner with another couple with their child 🙈 He will be allowed time to watch tv etc as he grows up but there are so many more interesting things we could do rather than sitting staring at an iPad all day.

As I say, each to their own and maybe these parents just needed a breather (although for a baby of that age I doubt it would work) but personally I don’t agree with how normal it has all become over the last few years. I think the full effects of it might not be felt until this generation of children reaching working age 😬

But there's a huge difference between saying screens for children are a problem for society in general and judging a family you know nothing about because their baby had a screen in a restaurant.

I think we do, as a society, have to grasp the nettle of being judgemental.

We can't explain all bad behaviour away by saying it might only be a snapshot and we don't know what is going on in people's lives.

Sometimes, we have to say that we don't give a shit what is going on in people's lives if they are being neglectful or cruel to their children.

Children's rights have come before their parent's rights to being understood and I don't think Social Services should bend over backwards to keep children with inadequate, neglectful or cruel parents. The child's physical safety comes first or it should.

Do I think giving a screen to a baby is neglectful or cruel? No, I don't.

But none of us should ever be afraid of poking our nose in.

@TameDucksAtChatsworth

I think we do, as a society, have to grasp the nettle of being judgemental.

We can't explain all bad behaviour away by saying it might only be a snapshot and we don't know what is going on in people's lives.

Sometimes, we have to say that we don't give a shit what is going on in people's lives if they are being neglectful or cruel to their children.

Children's rights have come before their parent's rights to being understood and I don't think Social Services should bend over backwards to keep children with inadequate, neglectful or cruel parents. The child's physical safety comes first or it should.

Do I think giving a screen to a baby is neglectful or cruel? No, I don't.

But none of us should ever be afraid of poking our nose in.

So would you deem the parents that OP is referring to as being cruel or neglectful?

So you wouldn't deem, that should've said. I think OP referring it as being horrified is ridiculous. The case of Arthur was horrific, but not this.

I think I've clearly answered that in my penultimate line, @BABAHOTEL when I wrote:

"Do I think giving a screen to a baby is cruel or neglectful? No, I don't"

@Fhjutftjvddww

What precisely is wrong with me saying that a parenting course I attended was focused on addressing the very parenting techniques that are being defended on this thread, for the precise reason that it results in poor outcomes and can be indicative of other deficiencies in parenting that result in SS intervention is utterly beyond me. Give the terrible reports about neglect and abuse in this country I find it seriously concerning that a reference to this correlation has been deleted.

Anyone with an ounce of sense would see your comment for what it was, factual

I always wonder why so many think MN is middle class when all I see is terrible parenting being cheered on and don't even get me started on the poverty olympics

It's never ok to sit such a young baby in front of a screen and leave them to it. Never.

when all I see is terrible parenting being cheered on and don't even get me started on the poverty olympics

The accuracy!

I assumed the poster had been on such a course. Not sure why that's an issue

It's not an issue at all. The original post has been deleted as that poster made some vile comments about those who attended such courses.

Very ridiculous to compare Arthur to giving a baby some screen time. Anyway, bein judgemental is not helpful in either scenario anyway, Arthur needed someone to actually intervene not just judgementally sit there thinking but not acting. So to say that we all need to be more judgemental is IMO not helpful at all. We need people to recognise and understand the signs of abuse and to know how to report it. We do not need mums judging other mums from a distance then coming onto mumsnet to say how abhorrent you think it is. That’s not actually helping anyone. The two scenarios are so incongruent it doesn’t make any sense to even mention it on a thread about screen time.

I always wonder why so many think MN is middle class when all I see is terrible parenting being cheered on

I thought this to myself earlier!! And @Fhjutftjvddww it’s outrageous your comment was deleted. It’s pretty bad to censor an opinion like that, it might have offended a few people but it made a valid point and it wasn’t racist, sexist, homophobic etc it was just suggesting correlation between parents with SS involvement and parents who overuse screens. Which is factual. Might not be popular, but it’s factual. Same as correlation between not bathing your children and SS involvement, or feeding your children junk and SS involvement.

@Giraffesandbottoms can you post a link to back that up as if that’s true I’m sure many people on the thread would be interested to read a study about it.

I always wonder why so many think MN is middle class when all I see is terrible parenting being cheered on

So you think that that middle class parents can’t be terrible parents?

I do despair.

Surely it’s just common sense? Because those things, in excess, are all related to negligence?

I am not at all saying that that’s what is going on here or with anyone on this thread. I’m just saying deleting a comment saying there is a correlation is not right.

it’s outrageous your comment was deleted. It’s pretty bad to censor an opinion like that

1. It was conjecture not fact

1. It was not censorship, it obviously broke the rules otherwise it wouldn't have been deleted

1. I saw rhe deleted post before it went and it was vile, not to mention classist

JigglyPiggly

ItIsABumperCropThisYear
I always wonder why so many think MN is middle class when all I see is terrible parenting being cheered on

So you think that that middle class parents can’t be terrible parents?

I do despair.

Nope

Maybe you can take a basic reading class this year, there is always time to learn a new skill

Could you explain since I have misunderstood? I would genuinely like to know what you meant.

@Thatsplentyjack

How do you know that not the only thing that will keep the child entertained while they get an hour or less to have some lunch. Get over yourself!

You wonder how we managed for thousands of years without them.

We managed 1000s of years ago without washing machines but I wouldn’t want to go back to that now either!

@TameDucksAtChatsworth

I think we do, as a society, have to grasp the nettle of being judgemental.

We can't explain all bad behaviour away by saying it might only be a snapshot and we don't know what is going on in people's lives.

Sometimes, we have to say that we don't give a shit what is going on in people's lives if they are being neglectful or cruel to their children.

Children's rights have come before their parent's rights to being understood and I don't think Social Services should bend over backwards to keep children with inadequate, neglectful or cruel parents. The child's physical safety comes first or it should.

Do I think giving a screen to a baby is neglectful or cruel? No, I don't.

But none of us should ever be afraid of poking our nose in.

So what would you do if you saw a child in a restaurant with a screen? Report it to SS?