Am I selfish?

[sploshsplash]

H has decided that Jan- March Sundays are his to do practice runs for a marathon he has in April.
He has said no late nights out for me and none for us a couple on a Saturday so he can sleep well for Sunday and no Nights out with him on a Friday because he has work Saturday mornings... but it's ok to go out for dinner on a Sunday evening if we want as he can have a drink.
I don't drink Sundays as work is in the morning.
We had a big argument (instigated by me) before Christmas about lack of couple time together away from the home. It was because I have said many times he doesn't see us doing things as a couple as being important to him... not much came from the argument.
He's called me unsupportive and selfish for being annoyed at claiming the first 3 months of the year to himself.... am I selfish and unsupportive? I just don't feel important to him.
2 children... been together nearly 20 years.
Thanks

I have no issue with him doing a marathon and training for it but he can't dictate what YOU can and can't do on Friday and Saturday evenings! Fuck that

He's a dickhead.

Go out on your own instead.

Are you allowed to claim 3 months to yourself where you get to dictate the rules? Bet he won’t let you do that

Yanbu

Why can’t you have a late night?

Could you talk to someone (maybe on here) who has run a marathon and ask them did they need to restrict their (and their spouses) life to this extent for 3 months to be able to run a marathon?

If he was in the olympics, maybe but a marathon? Come on.

Maybe a ‘couch to marathon in 3 months’ but if he is a runner already then maybe he should stick to the smaller runs this year if it is going to take that much out of him.

I would invite a fitness coach to talk to him about his goals and be more realistic. All the best.

Why aren't you allowed out? He's being ridiculous.

He is being a twat.

What day is yours to do whatever you want?

He is a dickhead. HTH.

Why on Earth can’t you go out? I can sort of understand him say he doesn’t want to go out, but why would your life be suspended.

And I also think claiming all of every Sunday is out of order. Does he have Mondays off? If your children are school aged surely that’s the perfect time to train?

Fuck that!

I ran a marathon. Most of my long runs were done super early on Sundays (like going out at 5.30) so it didn't impinge on the whole day. If my dh wanted to go out on a Saturday (or any other night) he was perfectly welcome to and, being a grown up, he was allowed a drink whenever he wanted.

Your husband is the selfish one, not you!

I'm so glad that am not going crazy! I really came away from our argument questioning myself!
Thank you

Anything I had to say was met with... you're so unsupportive.

I’m really not understanding why you (singular you) can’t go out, though? How does that impact on his ability to get up?

This is very confusing. So you're not allowed to do anything .... in case it disturbs him on Friday or Saturday nights? And presumably every Sunday he will be training. What about childcare or other family responsibilities - if your DC are little, who looks after them? if older, does that mean you're the only one doing the late night lift clubs or whatever now? All Sunday activities are now your problem?

The only thing I can accept is him not wanting to drink on Friday or Saturday nights and him not wanting an actual late night on a Saturday. But I'm not sure why that means you can't? Or why can't you go out for an early dinner and he just doesn't drink on a Saturday? What am I missing here?

Don't be silly: OP's job is to sacrifice everything in support of Her Man.

Fine if he doesn't want late nights but he can't impose that on you too. DH has run several marathons and apart from the night before, he has never imposed such restrictions on me!

@Saysama

I’m really not understanding why you (singular you) can’t go out, though? How does that impact on his ability to get up?

I wondered if it's in case she disturbs him when she gets home, or because he can't possibly be expected to get up with the kids first thing when he's got such an important man hobby.

Absolutely ridiculous!! My Oh is also training for a marathon and he does his biggest run on a Sunday so HE doesn’t drink Saturday night. We are out this Saturday and he’s going to drive (woo hoo for me) as isn’t driving. He’d never dictate to me when / if I can go out. That’s so bizarre

What a prick.

@girlmom21 Ah, of course. Silly me!

OP, your husband sounds rather unpleasant.

I did a half a few years ago. Saturdays were my long-run day. I never restricted DP's movements on the Friday. OK, so I didn't have a child then but, even so, I can't see now to have to impose any such thing were I to start running again.

He's definitely being ridiculous!

Why can’t you go out on Friday and Saturday?? If you are North Wales way I’ll come out with you . Your grumpy arse husband can get an early night!

He’s being a duck.

OP where are you? Fancy a night out tomorrow?

Ha I missed your post @XmasElf10.

Why can’t you go out? When I have done marathon training I got up and did my longs runs at 5/5.30am. I still went out with my friends, I just drank less. I did run a lot and my DC especially kept asking why I was running so much but I re arranged my life more then theirs.