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Shocked by revelations , no contact ever again (TW mentions incest)

126 replies

Fridaychangename · 21/01/2022 14:18

Name changed
I am writing this as I am in complete shock and not write sure who to tell . Need to try and be vague in case I am recognised and also I don't want to get into graphic details .

I am the youngest of my siblings by quite some way . They were teens when I was born . Quite a split family. Our parents have no contact with each other or any of my siblings for various reasons (none related to this) I am the cog in the middle and speak to everyone

Before my teens my brother had a child with his wife so I became an aunt very young. Lots of time spent with the child as our parents provided childcare. Eventually my Brother split from the mother she moved away and we all lost contact with the child... my brother didn't see her after about the age of 11 .

Shes now an adult with her own family and they have re established contact . I haven't seen her since she was a young child. She started following me on social media a while back but thats been it

I have arranged a shirt break with my brother in the summer. He's mentioned his daughter will be coming. No problem.

This is where it all changed

Now a year or so ago he came back to this country (works and lives abroad) and we met up. Went out he stayed with me . I gave him my room as I don't have a spare room or sofa bed. I was in bed next to him (both clothed) and he rolled over and cuddled me and put his hand on my bottom. I moved him away with a jokey what the fuck. Assumed he was half asleep and thought he was next to his partner. I mentioned it to someone and they thought it very strange. I put it to the back of my mind. Had no reason to think it untoward

On this holiday he's told me it's just him and her going and they are sharing a room and will be 'partying' but I was welcome to join. Things in these messages took a sinister turn and hes basically confessed they do this from time to time when their partners aren't around . That what happens on this weekend away stays on it and he began asking why that night when he stayed I didn't start playing with him as he 'expected me to' and asking what I would have done if he had to me as I scrub up well

I am in absolute shock I feel physically sick. I won't be going on this break . I have no plans other than this to see him or her. Neither of them have contact with my children.

I was so close to him growing up, lots of my childhood memories etc. Nothing strange inappropriate at all. I have to go no contact , block every where , delete everywhere. I have already deleted all photos of us off my social media qs it feels tainted and dirty .

Essentially he's dead to me from now and I need to grieve. I just feel stunned.

Sorry I just had to get this out written down somewhere. I posted here as its busy I know I am not being unreasonable . Thanks

OP posts:
PomPomSugar · 21/01/2022 14:58

So he has sex with his daughter and has tried to initiate sex with you, his sister?

Christmas1988 · 21/01/2022 14:59

What?!

So your brother is having sex with his daughter?
How old is she?

Mooey89 · 21/01/2022 15:00

Sorry I’m just trying to get my head around that. Are you blood relatives?

Christmas1988 · 21/01/2022 15:00

You need to tell someone, this could’ve been happening whilst this poor girl was younger. Incest is against the law for a reason.

HollowTalk · 21/01/2022 15:04

Ugh that poor girl. Which country does he live in now? Within Europe or elsewhere?

Sceptre86 · 21/01/2022 15:08

Report to the police.

m00rfarm · 21/01/2022 15:09

You are being unreasonable actually, as if you are in the UK you should be reporting this as it is a crime. But I do feel for you - what a dreadful situation.

PossiblyDreaming · 21/01/2022 15:12

Fucking hell. You need to report this to the police. If you have no intention of ever seeing them again then you have nothing to lose by doing this. Please report, she may be an adult but is clearly very vulnerable.

Fridaychangename · 21/01/2022 15:12

Hes a half brother
We are all adults by some significant margin

Yes him and her when their partners aren't qround. And they want to with me on this break away . I feel physically sick

Hes in Europe as are me and her sorry have to be vague in case they were to read here (unlikely I know )

OP posts:
HeadToToesNo · 21/01/2022 15:15

What a shock for you OP, can you speak to a professional about this? A counsellor maybe?

Pyri · 21/01/2022 15:19

Shock this is not normal in any way

Isaw3ships · 21/01/2022 15:21

Sorry, to be clear - this man is having sex with his daughter?

RudeAF · 21/01/2022 15:23

Your half brother is having sex with his long lost daughter and wants you to have a threesome with them?

Fridaychangename · 21/01/2022 15:23

I have been thinking and thinking over and over so many things but there was no signs of this . Its not a wind up and its not someone messing about on his phone as a wind up either . I was half hoping it was but some of whats been said uts him definitely.

When I was around 9 years old I recall saying to him I can see why your popular with women (he always had a nice car and suits money had all the talk, could charm the birds from the trees) He's made reference to this comment and seems to think it means I fancy him and want to sleep with him . I feel my entire childhood memories have been dirtied and tainted in a 24 hour period . I am literally stunned with shock

OP posts:
Toottooot · 21/01/2022 15:25

Your brother and his daughter - also your niece want to have a threesome with you? Has she also told you this?

Fridaychangename · 21/01/2022 15:25

Yes that's what is being suggested. Sorry I can't even bring myself to type it out. I don't want people to think I am a troll or getting a kick off this.

OP posts:
billy1966 · 21/01/2022 15:30

You poor woman.

What a truly stunning shock.

So sorry.

Flowers
astoundedgoat · 21/01/2022 15:30

Does SHE know about this narrative or consent to it? One wonders why her mother separated him from her from 11.

You have to report. It seems very possible that he has been raping her her whole life.

Lottapianos · 21/01/2022 15:33

Jesus OP, that's so horrible. Not surprised you're feeling sick and in shock

Miri13 · 21/01/2022 15:34

Not only is this taboo in cultures and religions around the world, it is also illegal. You need to report this. I do feel for you, it’s shocking Shock

user1481840227 · 21/01/2022 15:35

He must have been abusing her as a child.

Incest just doesn't happen this way. Daughters aren't sexually attracted to their fathers. That only happens when relations only meet for the first time in adulthood. (Genetic sexual attraction GSA) but that is not the case between them.

I have previously heard about abuse cases where the woman keeps going along with it after she's grown up, but that's as a result of the previous abuse and grooming, it's not willing, mutual sex.

BlueJag · 21/01/2022 15:36

Unfortunately it happens a lot when contact with a child is lost for a long time. It happens more with adopted children but it can happen after separation. The strong feeling get confused with sexual attraction and many people act upon those feeling. It's called genetic sexual attraction. It's absolutely abhorrent but not uncommon.
It also sound like your brother and his daughter weren't prepared for the feelings and are in an incestuous relationship.
I am incredibly sadden all round specially because you discovered an utterly shocking and illegal relationship.
I can only recommend you tell your brother that what he is doing is illegal and inappropriate and you found it wrong specially because he is the parent.
Poor you this is just awful.

thenewduchessoflapland · 21/01/2022 15:37

Christ

He has sex with his daughter,tried to initiate sex with you,his half sister and wants you to have a threesome with him and his daughter who's your niece.

He's a sick disgusting man.With these lack of boundaries I'd wonder what else he gets up too.

I'd say just cut all contact but I'd also consider talking to the police;my main concern is that he might be committing other sexual crimes against vulnerable people.

CustardySergeant · 21/01/2022 15:40

I wonder if the brother's ex-wife knows what is going on between him and their daughter.

MrsGinnyM · 21/01/2022 15:41

That seems unusual for you both to remember from when you were 9. However if this thread is true then it is important that you report it to the police as soon as possible, especially to protect others as you say his adult daughter now has a family of her own.