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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

‘Sorry the colour doesn’t suit my baby’

491 replies

Laughingstock91 · 21/01/2022 12:07

Sent a friend with a new baby some clothes - one thing was a really pale pink and the other thing was a really pale yellow. It was like a T-shirt and joggers set thing that I got in a small independent shop.

No Thankyou - just a comment that the colours weren’t right. The baby is 3 months old.

Aibu to think I would never have dreamed of making such a comment. I had some really unusual colours but I smiled, said Thankyou & the kids wore them as I was grateful to receive gifts.

I feel really offended- they weren’t cheap either 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
foggygreyday · 21/01/2022 13:58

Like you said op, if given a gift of baby clothes not to your taste the polite thing is to say thank you. In fact I'd put baby in them and send photo wearing the clothes to say thank you and then just donate them to charity shop. Your friend is rude.

LoisWilkersonslastnerve · 21/01/2022 13:59

I have a hilarious picture of me as a baby wearing a turquoise hawaian shirt and red dungarees. I wonder if they were a giftSmile She's missing out on one of the experiences of parenthood, opening gifts others have picked. Why does everything have to be curated and perfect?!

Cheekypeach · 21/01/2022 14:05

@LoisWilkersonslastnerve

I have a hilarious picture of me as a baby wearing a turquoise hawaian shirt and red dungarees. I wonder if they were a giftSmile She's missing out on one of the experiences of parenthood, opening gifts others have picked. Why does everything have to be curated and perfect?!
Spot on.

I thought my baby was so impossibly gorgeous that she looked fabulous in everything! Grin

WombatChocolate · 21/01/2022 14:08

So odd that lots on this thread have said the chosen outfit is horrible.

It misses the point that the gift giver chooses and gives what they think is nice. Surely people can see there is no correct answer to ‘what is nice for a baby’ and people might like different things.

And also isn’t it obvious that it’s not necessary to love every gift your baby is given in order to say thank you for it, or to even use it, even if not frequently.

I would dress my child in the outfit a friend or family member had given them, when that friend came over. I would do it even if I didn’t like it. Would this hurt me? not at all. Would it give pleasure to the gift giver - yes. And that’s what a polite recipient with manners does.

Yes of course it’s great to receive something you love. But people with new babies receive multiple gifts and it’s precious and self absorbed to think it’s necessary to love each one or to expect people giving something you don’t love should return it and buy you something else.

Some people might choose to include a gift receipt or the receipt. That’s up to them. It’s not a requirement. Others might not. Some might say that if the size isnt t right or item not to taste, to say so. That’s fine. But unless you are asked to do this, you just smile and say thank you for the gift regardless.

And what if you don’t like it? Well, just pass it onto a friend, or sell it if you really need to feel you’ve ‘had something you like’ or possibly just out your baby in it and cope with them wearing something you don’t love. It’s hardly a big deal is it…unless you’re very princessy.

And this kind of text that Op received is the worst kind of princessy behaviour. It’s entitled and horribly rude.

Honestly what kind of manners or behaviour is such a person going to teach to us child.

The OP doesn’t need to be rude back, but simply asking the recipient to return the item so it can given to someone else who will like it, seems fine. There is absolutely no need to be offering an alternative. A kind thought and gift has been given. When it’s thrown back at the sender, there’s no need to send another.

CentrifugalBumblePuppy · 21/01/2022 14:10

I was given some truly horrific frilly dresses when my daughter was born, but we did the diplomatic thing of popping our DD in the clothes, taking a photo, then sending it to the relative in question (this was before the days of camera phones).

Then the clothes would be squirrelled away into the back of her cupboard. If seeing the relatives, I’d just say the clothes were too beautiful to be used on a day to day basis & were being saved for a special occasion.

And of course there’d be lots of, “How wonderful! Thank you so much!,” because it’s the kind thing to do to someone who has gone out of their way to buy (or make) something for you.

Your friends are horrible. I’d get them to send the clothes back, or tell them to donate them so someone could have the use of them. If they want the money, I’d be punting that friendship into the sea.

thisplaceisweird · 21/01/2022 14:11

@Laughingstock91

Thing is- it wasn’t even a horrible set- the closest I can find is this pic from next which is similar
Ok I've changed my mind. This is hideous! Go round and give her the receipt.
takingmytimeonmyride · 21/01/2022 14:13

It's not my taste (I'm not a fan of pastel colours) but if I'd have been given it I would have said thank you and the baby would have worn it, because baby doesn't care what it's wearing and I would be grateful someone had given baby a gift.

I'd ask them to return it and then not bother sending anything else. I can't believe they didn't even say thank you. Confused

HelloBunny · 21/01/2022 14:15

Crazy... My baby wore hand-me-downs for the first 18 months (still is) as the shops were closed with Lockdowns / friends were clearing out their houses, as well. He wears anything, except dresses. And I only buy Sale items online, don’t care what colour it is!

oakleaffy · 21/01/2022 14:16

[quote Laughingstock91]@betwixtlives yes! ‘We got your parcel today. Sorry the colour doesn’t suit little xxxx. Could we change them please’[/quote]
Get a refund if you can...and spend it on someone more deserving..Like yourself!

That is just so incredibly grabby.
If they were too small, I could understand, but ''Colour doesn't suit?''
The mother sounds insecure about her baby if she's fussing about clothes.
It's a baby.
One of billions.

solbunny · 21/01/2022 14:18

I'm a new mum and I was lucky to be given loads of baby clothes as gifts. If I think about it, the vast majority are not to my taste at all - lots of the Disney character type stuff you tend to get in Primark which is just not my thing. But I was still very grateful for the gifts and my baby wears all of them - he's a baby, he doesn't care so why would I care?! Honestly that's truly bizarre imo.

Similarly my baby boy has a decent amount of pink clothes as a relative gave me a load of hand me downs from her baby girl. Some other relatives make snide comments sometimes but I honestly couldn't care less - he's a tiny baby, I'm fairly sure I'm not going to give him a gender complex because he wears a pink baby grow to bed from time to time!

Maybe when he's a little older I'll start caring about what he wears. But right now getting us both changed into clean clothes every day is a victory, who cares what those clean clothes look like?!

GolgiZombie6 · 21/01/2022 14:18

Wow that's so rude of your friend - I would feel upset too. I have received clothes for my son that weren't to my taste, but I always say thank you and send the gift-giver a photo of him wearing them. I think if someone has made an effort to do something nice for my child, I will always be grateful as they have thought about him.

Owlink · 21/01/2022 14:18

"Do you want the receipt? A thank you would have been nice." And goodbye, miserable bugger.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 21/01/2022 14:23

There are some extremely rude people on this thread telling the OP that the outfit pictured, which is not the one she sent, just the nearest equivalent she could find for illustrative purposes, is hideous. It isn't. It looks comfortable and practical.

Your 'friend', OP, as almost everybody has told you, is a rude and ungracious person.

Leslienope · 21/01/2022 14:24

YANBU that would be rude if you'd given her something to wear herself. Just say thank you and accept it - it's a gift! So rude.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 21/01/2022 14:26

@iklboo

Go and collect it. Apologise for not including a gift receipt. Gift a voucher/cash instead while you’re there.

then kiss her boots and flagellate with some birch twigs

Don't forget to wear your hair shirt and bind your feet as well. Get DH to walk in front of you, ringing a bell ABs shouting 'SHAME'.

@MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake and @iklboo, I hope you two are proud of yourselves. I've been sitting here sniggering at your combined efforts for several minutes.
Ciaram55 · 21/01/2022 14:27

I've never heard of a colour not suiting a baby. How odd.

Winterflower84 · 21/01/2022 14:27

Hope you've got the receipt. Ask them back, refund and go no contact with her. Unimaginably rude!

EmbarrassingHadrosaurus · 21/01/2022 14:27

@Cheekypeach

‘No problem, if you return them I’ll get them refunded’.
This would be my response.
solbunny · 21/01/2022 14:27

Each to their own and maybe this is just a 'me' thing but my baby is not a doll... I don't understand caring about how attractive his clothes are. Yes I have a few items that I think are particularly nice, and when I put him in them I think "oh that's nice" but then it literally never crosses my mind again for the rest of the day. He's probably going to get bodily fluids all over it at some point in the day anyway!

WonderfulYou · 21/01/2022 14:30

Exactly...
Mine spent the first 6 months if not longer in babygrows and cardigans usually white so they could all be bunged in the wash together. Not dressed in multicoloured sweatshirt sets.

@RegardingMary I’ve never heard of anyone dressing their baby in only white for the first 6 months.

Mine was wearing anything but white. I think I had a few baby grows that were white but I never saw much white baby clothing else they’ll stain and look dirty.

Silversprinkles · 21/01/2022 14:32

@EmmaH2022

Beyond rude. They're just fishing for the cash to spend on themselves.

Are you able to collect the gift? If not, I think you have to let it go as you can't ask them to post them back really...

Oh yes she can ask them to post back. And then get the refund and avoid her rude "friend" from now on.
Silversprinkles · 21/01/2022 14:33

@DrSbaitso

Dig up one of those old Colour Me Beautiful seasonal colour chart thingies and photoshop a red screaming baby face into each section.
Snort GrinGrinGrin
oakleaffy · 21/01/2022 14:35

@Laughingstock91

Thing is- it wasn’t even a horrible set- the closest I can find is this pic from next which is similar
What did they dress their baby in, to find this ''Offensive''? Vampire baby stuff?
‘Sorry the colour doesn’t suit my baby’
DoNotGetADog · 21/01/2022 14:38

I don’t think YABU, OP. You did a nice thing and your friend was a bit rude in her reply.

However…

I completely disagree with all these people who say “babies are babies, it doesn’t matter what they wear.”

Both my babies had tanned-looking skin and loads of very dark hair. They looked really beautiful in bright colours, and even black. Pastel colours didn’t suit them nearly so well, and I don’t like pastel colours anyway.

It’s perfectly ok to only want to dress your child in clothes you like and you think suit them.

It is rude though to say you don’t like something. I would have just said “thank you very much, it’s lovely.” I wouldn’t have asked to change it, but neither would I dress them in it, even for a photo.

Blueeyedgirl21 · 21/01/2022 14:40

So rude !! It’s a baby! People must have unlimited cash and fucks to give these days if they’re worried about what clothes their tiny baby vomits poops and pees on, on a daily basis