‘Sorry the colour doesn’t suit my baby’

[Laughingstock91]

Sent a friend with a new baby some clothes - one thing was a really pale pink and the other thing was a really pale yellow. It was like a T-shirt and joggers set thing that I got in a small independent shop.

No Thankyou - just a comment that the colours weren’t right. The baby is 3 months old.

Aibu to think I would never have dreamed of making such a comment. I had some really unusual colours but I smiled, said Thankyou & the kids wore them as I was grateful to receive gifts.

I feel really offended- they weren’t cheap either 🤷🏻‍♀️

That's a really lovely outfit OP, soft and comfy looking.

I'm sorry your friend is rude and grabby.

Your thread made me remember that when I was looking through baby photos of my brother and me, I noticed that about 75% of our clothes were pink. Wow, I said to DM, you must have really loved pink! She sighed and explained that DDad had decided to take over the laundry when we were tiny and had an unfortunate tendency to put red items in with the whites . In his defence he's colour blind but even so!

@WombatChocolate

VioletPetals - I like your response. It seems appropriate.

The giver chooses the gift, not the recipient. This isn’t a wedding list!

Honestly, why someone can’t show some gratitude and smile and either put their baby in the outfit, or just say the right things and keep it and pass it onto the next person to have a baby, I don’t know. It’s the entitlement to a gift OF THEIR CHOOSING which misses the point, and particularly the failure to even say thank you. Shocking manners.

This sums up what I wanted to say. It's the entitlement of thinking you can demand exactly what someone gives you as a gift.

I don’t think I could be bothered with the hassle of finding the receipt or getting them back to change. I would probably just say ‘sorry you don’t like the clothes, don’t think I have the receipt but if you can’t just use for bed or a spare outfit in the changing bag then feel free to pass them on to a friend or charity shop’ and then I don’t think I’d ever send a gift for that child again.

The only thing I ever took back to a shop that someone gave me was a horrid dark grey all in one with ‘cold shoulder’ cut out bits. I just couldn’t bring myself to put my baby in it! But of course I thanked the giver very much and quietly took it back to the shop (which was River Island and none of the baby clothes were to my taste but I had to do an exchange without a receipt so I exchanged for socks!).

Honestly, I was blown away by people's generosity when our baby was born. People we hadn't seen in ages or only know tangentially sent gifts, mostly bought, but some even hand knitted/crocheted. I couldn't believe the number of people that had cared enough to send something. To me it was a lovely example of all the good in humanity.

Even if some things were really not to my taste, like pp's, I thanked everyone profusely (and genuinely!). Anything that was definitely not going to be used was donated to charity, but most things that fitted and were comfortable got used, because she's a baby - not a fashion item!

Especially gobsmacked at the story above of people returning HAND CROCHETED items to the givers. Some people need a strong lesson on manners and gratitude.

@PartyOnKale

That sort of outfit looks so comfortable though I really don't see how I couldn't have used that with all the changes young babies need.

Pull off the trousers, change, pull trousers back on.

There's nothing wrong with that outfit you picked OP, and honestly, when my baby was 3 months I didn't have the time or the energy to consider whether they were wearing the right shade of aquamarine for their skin tone. Who really cares? People need to get a grip!

I can’t understand this. It’s so entitled. They should be grateful you put thought, time and money into buying a gift at all, say thank you then privately give it away if it’s not to their taste. I would never bother buying anything for her/her child again!

@DrSbaitso

If you hate the clothes someone sent you, you put them on the baby, send the giver a photo and say thank you, then give them away. I thought everyone knew that.

haha!

Whilst her reply is rude, I do always include a gift reciept when I buy a baby gift OR if it's the 2nd/3rd baby quite often I get the parents a voucher, as you just don't know what baby has/needs and there's such waste.

I hate for people to waste their money and things to go unused.

What I have done with some unsuitable baby giftsI have received is either:
-exchange in the shop myself without telling them (some places let you do the without a receipt e.g. marks and spencer)
-regift to someone else
-just wear it once or twice, although not a fan of this due to waste
-given to charity bag/shop (only did this twice for two things that I really disliked and knew I wouldn't use)

It's a shame as some lovely and expensive stuff we received is just the wrong size/season- e.g. baby was on small side, so by the time they fit into the snowsuit it will be summertime. In these cases, if I know the purchaser well
enough to know they won't be offended I ask if I could have the receipt to change for a different size.....maybe your friend should have phrased it like this.

Maybe some people have a neurotic need to be Instagram ready at all times. To the point of rudeness to their family and friends.

Can't say I'd be going out of my way to hang out with those people!!

@ScrambledSmegs you seem a really well adjusted adult considering that poor you were forced to wear a non approved accidental colour as a baby. After all, I'd gather from some of the posters, babies can suffer by ack of colour coordination.

@TyrannosaurusRights

When I buy a gift it’s because I want to give the recipient something they will like and enjoy using. So I include a gift receipt in case it isn’t to their taste.

Obviously that isn’t the case for many on this thread including the OP.

And the picture example outfit is absolutely not to my taste. It wouldn’t get used here, so would be a complete waste of money. And no I wouldn’t be posting it back to you. She’s got a tiny baby. She doesn’t need extra errands from someone who is meant to be a friend.

Go and collect it. Apologise for not including a gift receipt. Gift a voucher/cash instead while you’re there.

And should OP get "doormat" or "mug" tattooed on her forehead at the same time? Jeesh. People pleasing to the extreme.

Wait is it because the outfit has tones of pink, and the baby is...a BOY?

Everyone knows boy babies should never wear pink...in case someone thinks they are, in fact, a GIRL BABY!

@RegardingMary

Oh god that outfit is awful OP. Especially for such a small baby.

She could have been politer but I'd have kindly requested a swap too if you didn't include the receipt.

This is not kind.

I don’t get what’s wrong with a plain pastel top and joggers?? How can it be that offensive to some of you?

Also ‘we don’t really do pastel colours’ - wtf other colours are there really? White and grey?

@tvcc I see I should have paid more attention to punctuation:
"That outfit looks so comfortable though!"
Sorry for the misunderstanding.😂

Bloody hell it’s freezing atm so it will keep the baby warm? Surely it doesn’t matter what colour it is when at 3 months they are probably going to throw up all over it anyways?

Wow this is crazy rude and ridiculous of her.

@nansbigpants

Definitely incredibly rude- but unless she's been like this about other things I'd try not to take it personally (but would return the clothes and get yourself something nice instead). I think some people temporarily lose all manners/grip on reality when their first born comes along.

I have a good friend who at all other times has been lovely/polite/grateful etc. But when her her first baby was born sent a message to all her friends which was nicely worded but basically said 'If you want to give us a present that's lovely but remember that we are a cut above so make sure you buy it from [list of expensive acceptable shops/websites] and ask for a gift receipt. If you can't afford to do that just don't bother. We know we've bought some of you supermarket baby clothes in the past but that's because we know you're a bit rough and wouldn't appreciate the good stuff. If you can't afford anything decent just don't bother. And don't bring any home made food- we know how grubby some of your kitchens are'. (Actual wording more like 'We have tried to match the gifts we have given you with your usual style so that no-one feels uncomfortable- we'd love you to do the same')

She is adamant now that this never happened, but does agree that she went a bit bonkers for a while.

@nansbigpants

ok - this could've been baby blues, PFB etc and now your friend denies this but how on earth you could have received her message in anything but rude terms is beyond me.

I might not have ditched the friendship with her if I were you but I'd certainly have backed off with a bit of a look on my face.

[quote Laughingstock91]@betwixtlives yes! ‘We got your parcel today. Sorry the colour doesn’t suit little xxxx. Could we change them please’[/quote]
Not even a thank you!

@Blueeyedgirl21

I don’t get what’s wrong with a plain pastel top and joggers?? How can it be that offensive to some of you?

Also ‘we don’t really do pastel colours’ - wtf other colours are there really? White and grey?

@Blueeyedgirl21

well now you say that:-

www.riverisland.com/c/baby?f-colour=grey&f-type=sets-and-outfits&msclkid=042f5d906d191b6fb07e3c7aa67ddd1a&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Newborn%20%3E%20Outfits%20%3E%20E%20%3E%20KW&utm_term=grey%20outfit%20for%20baby&utm_content=Generic%20%7C%20Grey&gclid=042f5d906d191b6fb07e3c7aa67ddd1a&gclsrc=3p.ds#search_redirect:newborn

She probably has one of those in store fashion and colour advisers, that are very adept at knowing what colours and styles suit 3 month old babies., so will obviously reject all clothes that she finds unsuitably unfashionable !!

@tvcc read it again. You've picked it up wrong. That's exactly what the poster means - so easy.

@NewYearEveryYear

Wait is it because the outfit has tones of pink, and the baby is...a BOY?

Everyone knows boy babies should never wear pink...in case someone thinks they are, in fact, a GIRL BABY!

My first was born in Southern California, His name is Robin (usually for girls in California but quite normal for boys in UK. As he was often dressed in strawberry pink babygros (handed down from a cousin, we had very little money and were very grateful for any help we could get!) people would ask "What is your baby's name?" then say "What a lovely little girl!" I got some very strange looks when I replied, "No, it's a boy". He's now in his 30's and it doesn't seem to have dented his masculinity in any way!! Babies really don't care what they wear.

Unbelievably grabby and entitled.