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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

‘Sorry the colour doesn’t suit my baby’

491 replies

Laughingstock91 · 21/01/2022 12:07

Sent a friend with a new baby some clothes - one thing was a really pale pink and the other thing was a really pale yellow. It was like a T-shirt and joggers set thing that I got in a small independent shop.

No Thankyou - just a comment that the colours weren’t right. The baby is 3 months old.

Aibu to think I would never have dreamed of making such a comment. I had some really unusual colours but I smiled, said Thankyou & the kids wore them as I was grateful to receive gifts.

I feel really offended- they weren’t cheap either 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
EmmaH2022 · 21/01/2022 18:08

[quote MabelsApron]@EmmaH2022 Agree. A friend was very insistent that there be no gendered colours and no plastic rubbish. For her kid’s 1st birthday, I bought a gorgeous wooden pale grey carousel toy that had pieces to be assembled. Took me ages to find it and it wasn’t cheap. Didn’t get a thank you. Next time we met up, friend complained that child had been given too many toys and she’d given most of them away. Said she’d rather have had people do chores around the house to give her and her husband a break![/quote]
Another jaw on floor moment

Are you still friends?

Westerman · 21/01/2022 18:11

Clearly your 'friend' has an accessory rather than a baby. What a snotty, rude cow she is. I'd be bloody offended, too.

PartyOnKale · 21/01/2022 18:13

Gift giving is a two way street. Choosing and making or buying a baby outfit is a pleasure for many. It's a gift for the baby really.

Tsuni · 21/01/2022 18:58

@Diggersaursarethebest

I really like choosing clothes for my child. I’m grateful my husband isn’t bothered and lets me pick all his clothes. When people buy him things I don’t like I smile and say thank you but I then shove them at the back of the cupboard and only bring them out if everything I do like is filthy. Your friend was rude OP, but I do understand the hating all the things other people want your child to wear problem. At 3 months sometimes it can feel like it’s not your baby when they are dressed wrong. Smelling wrong is worse though. That always required an immediate bath.
Are you alright? That doesn’t sound normal or healthy.
Cheekypeach · 21/01/2022 19:13

At 3 months sometimes it can feel like it’s not your baby when they are dressed wrong.

And when they’re teenagers and you can no longer dress them like a doll? Does your shared DNA erode away as they defy your wishes and wear crop tops and daisy dukes?

elbea · 21/01/2022 19:16

@PartyOnKale do you wear whatever clothes are handed to you, irregardless of whether you like them?

I dress my child in clothes I like, why wouldn’t I? If somebody gives us clothing in garish prints, with cartoons on or slogans I don’t put my child in them. That doesn’t make her an accessory.

Blossomtoes · 21/01/2022 19:19

the best gifts are gift cards, frozen meals, lanolin nipple cream, nice blankets

Those aren’t for the baby though. People want to welcome a new person to the world. Just give unwanted gifts to charity, there are lots of people who don’t have anything given to them.

PartyOnKale · 21/01/2022 19:20

@elbea yes when I was 3-6 months old.

bkyyy · 21/01/2022 19:20

My kids are ginger and we get sent stuff that clashes with their hair a lot, have to admit I do just exchange them.

Lovethespring · 21/01/2022 19:22

She doesn’t deserve your friendship, is self centred and totally oblivious to your feelings ..... true friends don’t make you feel angry and hurt😡

PartyOnKale · 21/01/2022 19:29

I think I did size up and return a couple of baby gifts which had receipts or where they came from an easily accessible store. Some second hand things in a bundle I passed to charity. Maybe a garish or dark thing occasionally too if I really disliked it strongly or couldn't face it in the laundry. But no I didn't get overly fussy about styling my babies on a day to day basis.
To ask the gift giver to take something back or give you the receipt is bad manners in anyone's book, surely?

Maybe in today's world of plenty the baby gift is outdated. I certainly don't fancy going round to mop someone's floor though.😂

MabelsApron · 21/01/2022 19:37

@EmmaH2022 Oddly enough, we “grew apart”… Grin

Moonlightdust · 21/01/2022 19:37

Yes it’s rude and ungrateful.

HappyDays40 · 21/01/2022 20:05

It's a baby they don't "suit" anything. They all look the bloody same anyway at that age my son included.

GADDay · 21/01/2022 20:22

This thread proves that no matter how kind we try to be - the world is littered with entitled, self absorbed arseholes.

Arseholery is on the rise and it needs to be called out.

If the friend had said something like - thank you so much for the gorgeous gift. We have had heaps of that size - would love to exchange for a bigger one, that would be a whole different scenario.

Unfortunately - the friend is an arsehole. I would call them out - bluntly and without delay - call her to say - I put a thought into that gift - your response was awful. Au revoir.

EmmaH2022 · 21/01/2022 20:34

[quote MabelsApron]@EmmaH2022 Oddly enough, we “grew apart”… Grin[/quote]
Very wise Grin

ByeByeNye · 21/01/2022 20:39

@thisplaceisweird

I never said I was resentful lol not sure where you're getting that? And yes, I do find it polite to not reject a gift, as I find it impolite to reject one.

She can make it clear that it's OK from her POV, but it isn't OK from mine. I found it hurtful when she handed me the frame back, I wouldn't do the same to her out of spite.

ByeByeNye · 21/01/2022 20:46

@Farrandau

I am a Hello Kitty fan. So, in her own way, she did sort-of put thought behind it. She also handed me a beautiful bracelet with "Family" on it, therefore I'm not going to make an issue of a silly back pack. I'll just donate it.

I'm not saying people should just buy any old crap, but there's no need to be rude either. Rejecting a gift is beyond rude, and so hurtful.

sociallydistained · 21/01/2022 20:56

She didn't even say thanks?!

CheeseMmmm · 21/01/2022 20:59

I'd say she didn't like them at all and was trying to make a marginally more polite excuse.

Just let her swap them.

I want people to like things I give them, not as in this case prob stuff at back cupboard what a waste.

Maireas · 21/01/2022 20:59

Once they've honked up over everything you're grateful for any clean item of clothing. The shade is insignificant.

RagzRebooted · 21/01/2022 21:00

@DrSbaitso

Dig up one of those old Colour Me Beautiful seasonal colour chart thingies and photoshop a red screaming baby face into each section.
I'm actually giggling to myself at this. Brilliant!
TooOldToBeAGoth · 21/01/2022 21:10

Do you have her Paypal details?

If so I would PP her £3. Then text “I’ve just PPd you some money to cover the post, please sent them back to me and I will take them to the shop at the weekend and get a credit note”
Send the money to her before suggesting she sends it back because if she already has the money from you for the post, she can’t say - no, no it’s fine.

Then if she is cheeky enough to ever follow up about the credit note - “did you ever get the credit note from that shop?”, you just reply “yes I did and I used it to buy [my sister’s / neighbour’s friend’s] little boy the most adorable little coat so it all worked out well in the end”

X

badg3r · 21/01/2022 21:25

"Oh I'm so sorry, I should have thought. My babies always looked gorgeous in anything and I thought the colours were cute. I forget some babies aren't lucky enough to be able to pull off pastels..."

Ok ok mostly joking 😉 can't believe she replied that!!

HelloDulling · 21/01/2022 21:36

I wouldn’t put my baby in pale pink and pale yellow, nor in a sweatshirt/ joggers combo, but I wouldn’t say that to you! I’d say thank you, then try to return it quietly. Or give away, if returning was too hard.