To be upset at interview feedback about my hair

[Namirya]

Got feedback after a fourth interview, sadly I didn't get the job. The recruiter said the company thought I was extremely well prepared, but I came across as a bit nervous. Fair enough - I know it wasn't my best performance, as I got virtually no sleep the night before (DD woke up in the middle of the night, then insomnia kicked in).

Then the recruiter said something that completely threw me off. She said the interviewer suggested I wear my hair down next time as my hairstyle was too "rigid" in combination with a formal interview suit. I had straightened my hair, and put it up in a sleek ponytail with a lovely elegant band. It was raining, my hair is long and I didn't want a frizzy mess.

The position I was interviewing for was quite senior, in a formal environment. I didn't want my hair to be a distraction. It wasn't messy, or unkempt. What was it commented on? It wouldn't be an issue for a man. I am so annoyed!

You have misjudged it for sure

Lots of creative jobs would consider a formal standard dress code w flaw since it suggests you have little flair or creativity

I’m my role no one would ever interview in suit

Those who did would look like they didn’t have individuality or creativity - both needed for the role

Sorry I realise it's the recruiter who made the comment.

Surely you challenged them? I wonder if (stupidly & unacceptably) the interviewer shared that informally & she (equally stupidly & unacceptably) repeated it.

@Watapalava

You have misjudged it for sure

Lots of creative jobs would consider a formal standard dress code w flaw since it suggests you have little flair or creativity

I’m my role no one would ever interview in suit

Those who did would look like they didn’t have individuality or creativity - both needed for the role

That's rubbish.

I was waiting for you to say its dyed several colours & shaved on one side!!
I think you've dodged a bullet.

You had a lucky escape!

What a shitty remark :/ imagine working there and being paranoid about your hair!! Fuck that shit

I’m angry for you

Bullet. Dodged

@Watapalava

You have misjudged it for sure

Lots of creative jobs would consider a formal standard dress code w flaw since it suggests you have little flair or creativity

I’m my role no one would ever interview in suit

Those who did would look like they didn’t have individuality or creativity - both needed for the role

Where did op say it was a creative job?

It is not rubbish

People interview for people who would fit in with company eg someone turning up for a job in gaming industry in a suit would not likely get the role

I know as I’m in that industry. No one wears suits. You would look corporate and no one wants colleagues who don’t fit in

Whether it’s right is irrelevant

It’s fact

This just goes to show how random interviews can be. There are so many good, well prepared people going for any job that it often ends up being down to some random, unfair, highly subjective, non-professional reasoning. I'm sure you looked professional and it's an indication of the interviewer's lack of professionalism. Keep on trying and don't let it get to you too much - you have to have such a thick skin when trying to get a decent job. Good luck and don't worry.

Wow. I interview all the time and would never dream of comments on someone’s hair! I’d be glad I wasn’t working for them

@Watapalava I was in media too a decade ago and I am aware of the differences. This job was in a much more traditional environment.

@EarringsandLipstick not sure what's worse, the interviewer saying that or the recruiter passing the message on. Apparently that would be "helpful for my next interview".

Be glad you didn’t get the job!
I remember in the early 90s I went for a role and was told by a creepy guy that we ‘expect all our young ladies to wear skirts’ while looking me (wearing a skirt) up and down. I got offered the role but declined. Yuck! 🤮

Seek advice …l don’t think they can use such a personal opinion in any discussion about not getting the job .

Croydon facelift?

Wtf. That's awful. Any comment on personal appearance at an interview is wrong unless you're dressed inappropriately or have poor hygiene. A hair preference comment is way out of order.

@Watapalava

It is not rubbish

People interview for people who would fit in with company eg someone turning up for a job in gaming industry in a suit would not likely get the role

I know as I’m in that industry. No one wears suits. You would look corporate and no one wants colleagues who don’t fit in

Whether it’s right is irrelevant

It’s fact

But the comment was about her hair being in a pony tail?

It has not reflection on her ability to have done the job itself, and plays no role in corporate culture.

I would challenge them as to whether all candidates received feedback on their hair, or just you. They'll shit themselves.

I'm shocked. Could you refer the feedback on to their personnel department?

Don't forget, an interview is your opportunity to appraise them as a potential employer, not just theirs to evaluate you. Repeat it over and over again the next time you go for an interview: 'I might not want their lousy job!'

It's they who failed at this process. You were neatly presented and they had no business commenting on your personal appearance. This isn't an organisation I would care to work for.

@Watapalava

It is not rubbish

People interview for people who would fit in with company eg someone turning up for a job in gaming industry in a suit would not likely get the role

I know as I’m in that industry. No one wears suits. You would look corporate and no one wants colleagues who don’t fit in

Whether it’s right is irrelevant

It’s fact

You're wrong to say this. It is a fact that dressing appropriately is a thing BUT to comment on the particular choice of smart hairstyle is not reasonable. Would a man be told it would be better if he had stubble on the next interview, or parted his hair on the other side??

It’s obviously out of order for this to be given as a reason for not employing someone. However, presumably the recruiter is meant to be helping you get a job, so it’s useful to hear the opinions of those interviewing you.
I was recently on the interview panel for a managerial post. Our final 2 candidates were pretty much identical - same age, same experience, same job history, same qualifications, same notice period - both could have stepped into the job and done it equally well. One was bouncy and vivacious with wild curly hair. The other was calm and more serious. We basically chose one over the other for personality reasons, because there was nothing else separating them. We obviously didn’t tell them those reasons though. But maybe we should have. Maybe it would help to know.

Sounds like you did have a lucky escape.
This is a worry of mine, I’m going to be job searching very soon myself but I’ve had to stop colouring my hair due to allergies and I do wonder will my grey affect my job applications.

Parted his hair on the other side - that's an old one I haven't heard for decades.

OP it proves the interviewer and recruiter have the emotional intelligence of gnats. We're either a potential partner we'd be saying "lucky escape".

That is ridiculous you have every right to be annoyed about this. I would be livid!

It's one thing for them to think it. It's another to feed it back as the reason for not getting the job after FOUR INTERVIEWS!

I too would be very annoyed. It's a bullet dodged though. They sound horrid and unprofessional.

Furious for you! What a fucking joke!

Men don’t get judged on their hair. Look at our Prime Minister!

Lucky escape. Sexist, rude pigs.