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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset at interview feedback about my hair

331 replies

Namirya · 20/01/2022 19:32

Got feedback after a fourth interview, sadly I didn't get the job. The recruiter said the company thought I was extremely well prepared, but I came across as a bit nervous. Fair enough - I know it wasn't my best performance, as I got virtually no sleep the night before (DD woke up in the middle of the night, then insomnia kicked in).

Then the recruiter said something that completely threw me off. She said the interviewer suggested I wear my hair down next time as my hairstyle was too "rigid" in combination with a formal interview suit. I had straightened my hair, and put it up in a sleek ponytail with a lovely elegant band. It was raining, my hair is long and I didn't want a frizzy mess.

The position I was interviewing for was quite senior, in a formal environment. I didn't want my hair to be a distraction. It wasn't messy, or unkempt. What was it commented on? It wouldn't be an issue for a man. I am so annoyed!

OP posts:
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7
SuPerDoPer · 20/01/2022 19:47

Definitely raise this with senior management. Its 2022 ffs.

TolkiensFallow · 20/01/2022 19:49

How rude and sexist. You don’t want to work there

GrandRapids · 20/01/2022 19:49

God what is it with bloody rude 'feedback' being given lately? This is the second thread this week.

Rude twats.

Pleasebeafleabite · 20/01/2022 19:49

Gosh. Two of these in one week

CSIblonde · 20/01/2022 19:50

That's personal opinion, not a skills or presentation issue: & sexist to boot. Was it a woman or a man interviewing you? If it was a woman, tbh I'd be suspicious they were just nitpicking and/or being spiteful because you looked great. I wouldn't want to work there either.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 20/01/2022 19:51

@BitterTits

I mean, what would they say to a bald man in a formal suit? Nothing at all, is my guess.
Funnily enough, my DH once got feedback that his suit jacket sleeves were too long. Hmm He was really downcast about it (they weren't even noticeably long).

But I agree 100% that they would never describe a man's hairstyle as 'severe', and I agree you've dodged a bullet there.

WouldIBeATwat · 20/01/2022 19:52

@changeyourname11111

Also isn’t it actually illegal to not give people jobs on the basis of things like that? Pretty stupid of the interviewer to say what they said and of the recruiter to tell you. What kind of job was it?
Hair style isn’t usually a protected characteristic.
NorthSouthcatlady · 20/01/2022 19:52

@GrandRapids there is a feedback trend Confused Weird especially as in lots of industries its a candidates market at the moment

justustwoandmoo · 20/01/2022 19:53

WHAT!!!!????? I've worked in HR for the last 20 years and...what?!! That's disgusting

IVflytrap · 20/01/2022 19:55

I would put your experience in the interview section of the company on Glassdoor (assuming they're big enough to be reviewed on there.) I would want to know that the company are overly focused on women's physical appearance, so that I can avoid them.

NavigatingAdolescence · 20/01/2022 19:55

I’m a HR Director with bright purple hair and an undercut. Hasn’t stopped me getting jobs, ever. Nor should it.

2pinkginsplease · 20/01/2022 19:55

Be thankful you didn’t get the job!

Squashfordinner · 20/01/2022 19:56

I would've asked the recruiter if they felt that was appropriate and leave your feedback to the company.

853ax · 20/01/2022 19:58

Wherever about the interviewer giving such feedback to recruiter, the recruiter should definitely know better and not pass on.
They should also have corrected the person doing interview letting them know appearence does not come into decision making.

maddiemookins16mum · 20/01/2022 20:03

Ridiculous. Look upon it as a lucky escape.

InvalidCrumb · 20/01/2022 20:04

I'm genuinely gobsmacked.
Even if they silently thought that you'd never bloody own up to that being a reason for not hiring someone?!

Sexnotgender · 20/01/2022 20:05

YANBU. What a weird thing to say. I’d be really fucked off.

geojellyfish · 20/01/2022 20:06

@853ax

Wherever about the interviewer giving such feedback to recruiter, the recruiter should definitely know better and not pass on. They should also have corrected the person doing interview letting them know appearence does not come into decision making.
This!

Bad hiring manager and bad recruiter. So inappropriate!

Wnkingawalrus · 20/01/2022 20:09

That is totally weird.

Mumtofourandnomore · 20/01/2022 20:11

@Squashfordinner

I would've asked the recruiter if they felt that was appropriate and leave your feedback to the company.
This !
DoTheMerengue · 20/01/2022 20:11

Amazed they said this even if it was part of their decision.

To be honest, sounds like you’ve had a lucky escape.

Tavelo · 20/01/2022 20:12

How can a hairstyle be too formal 🤣 for fuck sake

Flocon · 20/01/2022 20:12

Can you provide feedback on their hair? To show how inappropriate it is.

Bluemamma · 20/01/2022 20:13

What the actual fuck ?! What a comment. You actually wore your hair in a very clean/professional way but even if you didn’t this comment is beyond the belt. I have interviewed a lot of people (I’m a manager in a financial role) and if I made a comment like this I’d be in big trouble. Now I’m sure u are aware but you have every right to contact the employer directly and ask them to explain themselves. Also the recruiter is clearly an idiot for even passing this on but that’s another story

36degrees · 20/01/2022 20:15

I was once told I wasn't 'glossy' enough for a local government admin job, madness!