Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset at interview feedback about my hair

331 replies

Namirya · 20/01/2022 19:32

Got feedback after a fourth interview, sadly I didn't get the job. The recruiter said the company thought I was extremely well prepared, but I came across as a bit nervous. Fair enough - I know it wasn't my best performance, as I got virtually no sleep the night before (DD woke up in the middle of the night, then insomnia kicked in).

Then the recruiter said something that completely threw me off. She said the interviewer suggested I wear my hair down next time as my hairstyle was too "rigid" in combination with a formal interview suit. I had straightened my hair, and put it up in a sleek ponytail with a lovely elegant band. It was raining, my hair is long and I didn't want a frizzy mess.

The position I was interviewing for was quite senior, in a formal environment. I didn't want my hair to be a distraction. It wasn't messy, or unkempt. What was it commented on? It wouldn't be an issue for a man. I am so annoyed!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Toanewstart22 · 22/01/2022 09:27

[quote rifling]@Toanewstart22 So you rejected an excellent candidate on looks??Shock[/quote]
Correct

It was a client facing very senior position in finance

Socialcarenope · 22/01/2022 09:27

@Lennybenny

If it was an Alice type band...then yes. It gives off a certain vibe which isn't a good one.
I really want to know what vibe it gives off! And what type of band you are thinking.
To be upset at interview feedback about my hair
To be upset at interview feedback about my hair
To be upset at interview feedback about my hair
Socialcarenope · 22/01/2022 09:28

Pictures didn't upload

To be upset at interview feedback about my hair
To be upset at interview feedback about my hair
To be upset at interview feedback about my hair
rifling · 22/01/2022 09:29

It was a client facing very senior position in finance
So? You don't even know if he was able to grow hair. I think it is shameful.

Socialcarenope · 22/01/2022 09:29

Oh they did 🙈

Socialcarenope · 22/01/2022 09:38

Because I'm imagining something like this

To be upset at interview feedback about my hair
Queenbee77 · 22/01/2022 09:45

Lucky escape!!! Dont give them another thought! Your hair has nothing to do with it. I once interviewed a guy with dreadlocks. All my co workers were..." We cant hire him cos he looks weird" . My opinion was; he has the relevant qualifications. We hired him and within 3 years he had cut his hair and weara a suit, needless to say he was brilliant at his job and a real asset.

helloemily · 22/01/2022 09:47

Leave them a negative GlassDoor review would be my advice - at least the next person might be warned of their sexist hiring practices...

WomanStanleyWoman · 22/01/2022 10:07

@Toanewstart22

We interviewed for a very senior finance position He had a shaved head. Looked like a quintessential BNP supporter He was a great candidate but no bloody way would we put him in front of candidates We were all honest in our private discussions But we sure as heck didn’t tell the recruiter!
Ridiculous.
Megan1992xx · 22/01/2022 11:15

Thought these types of attitude died out years ago

Liesovertheocean · 22/01/2022 11:44

@Toanewstart22

We interviewed for a very senior finance position He had a shaved head. Looked like a quintessential BNP supporter He was a great candidate but no bloody way would we put him in front of candidates We were all honest in our private discussions But we sure as heck didn’t tell the recruiter!
You rejected a ‘great candidate’ because of his haircut. Do your clients know how little you think of their ability to be able to judge someone based on capability and not looks? Please do share your company name I want to make certain I never apply for a role in such a small minded organisation.
Toanewstart22 · 22/01/2022 11:49

But when you’re presented with a number of superb candidates, you do have to then consider less “politically correct” strengths and weaknesses as part of the entire consideration process

And that may well be how they presented themselves

Toanewstart22 · 22/01/2022 11:50

We also rejected someone because they had terrible breath
I felt sorry for them
But again - not the image we want to present to clients

Toanewstart22 · 22/01/2022 11:52

We way were going

It’s going to get to the point that people can lodge a discrimination case against someone who says they don’t want to go on a date with them because they’re not physically attracted to them.

WouldIBeATwat · 22/01/2022 12:27

@Toanewstart22

We way were going

It’s going to get to the point that people can lodge a discrimination case against someone who says they don’t want to go on a date with them because they’re not physically attracted to them.

Not quite, but if you Google the “cotton ceiling” you’ll see the treatment lesbians are getting for not wanting to sleep with men.
Mirw · 22/01/2022 14:20

A woman gives you some gentle advice and you think it unreasonable. You need to get over yourself... 4th interview, no job. Maybe take the advice snd see if it makes a difference! Not sexist behaviour at all.

WomanStanleyWoman · 22/01/2022 14:21

‘Gentle advice’. Ha!

WomanStanleyWoman · 22/01/2022 14:26

@Toanewstart22

We way were going

It’s going to get to the point that people can lodge a discrimination case against someone who says they don’t want to go on a date with them because they’re not physically attracted to them.

So you’re trying to compare a situation to which sexual attraction is central with one where it’s all utterly irrelevant?
KimikosNightmare · 22/01/2022 14:59

@Lennybenny

If it was an Alice type band...then yes. It gives off a certain vibe which isn't a good one.
And what "vibe" would that be?
Toanewstart22 · 22/01/2022 15:05

Not irrelevant if image in the position is important!

KimikosNightmare · 22/01/2022 15:09

@Watapalava

You have misjudged it for sure

Lots of creative jobs would consider a formal standard dress code w flaw since it suggests you have little flair or creativity

I’m my role no one would ever interview in suit

Those who did would look like they didn’t have individuality or creativity - both needed for the role

What an incredibly narrow mind you have for someone who apparently identifies as creative.

Actually in these days of working from home slobbishness a sharp, tailored suit is more individual anyway

WomanStanleyWoman · 22/01/2022 15:09

But it wasn’t important! Have you even read the OP’s posts?

Toanewstart22 · 22/01/2022 15:29

@WomanStanleyWoman

But it wasn’t important! Have you even read the OP’s posts?
But it was to my post, which is what the pp was enquiring about
WomanStanleyWoman · 22/01/2022 15:46

But you still compared a job to a date.

browneyes77 · 22/01/2022 15:50

@Toanewstart22

But when you’re presented with a number of superb candidates, you do have to then consider less “politically correct” strengths and weaknesses as part of the entire consideration process

And that may well be how they presented themselves

With all due respect, how do you know that person doesn’t suffer with hair loss/alopecia? And they’ve shaved their head because it looks tidier that way, than with hair missing in places? They could have really awkward hair and the only manageable hairstyle they have is to shave it off. There’s a myriad of valid and normal reasons why someone may have a shaved head.

As a recruiter myself, whilst I understand that when you have a number of excellent candidates and it’s hard to choose so you whittle down on smaller things, unless their hair style went against company policy, that really shouldn’t be something you base your decision on. Senior role or not.
I’ve recruited some extremely senior roles. I’ve looked at things like closest location to the role etc as a way to whittle down great candidates. I’ve never declined someone for having a shaved head, nor would I.