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Original poster

To be upset at interview feedback about my hair

331 replies

Namirya · 20/01/2022 19:32

Got feedback after a fourth interview, sadly I didn't get the job. The recruiter said the company thought I was extremely well prepared, but I came across as a bit nervous. Fair enough - I know it wasn't my best performance, as I got virtually no sleep the night before (DD woke up in the middle of the night, then insomnia kicked in).

Then the recruiter said something that completely threw me off. She said the interviewer suggested I wear my hair down next time as my hairstyle was too "rigid" in combination with a formal interview suit. I had straightened my hair, and put it up in a sleek ponytail with a lovely elegant band. It was raining, my hair is long and I didn't want a frizzy mess.

The position I was interviewing for was quite senior, in a formal environment. I didn't want my hair to be a distraction. It wasn't messy, or unkempt. What was it commented on? It wouldn't be an issue for a man. I am so annoyed!

OP posts:
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7
ProfessionalWeirdo · 21/01/2022 18:04

@Clarice99

WTAF Shock

This would never happen to a man! Is there anyone you can complain to?

^^ THIS. 100%.
ArthurDear21 · 21/01/2022 18:05

Hello I’m new here! Just saw this post and may I say in this day and age that is just appalling! These things must be reported as the more people get away with this kind of ridiculousness the more they’ll do it to others.
Don’t feel too bad though as who would want to work for a company who is capable of such rubbish! Smile

exaltedwombat · 21/01/2022 18:08

We can only assume the comment about your presentation was intended as helpful advice. OK from a life coach perhaps, very odd from a prospective employer!

Men get sent down to HR for daring to say 'Looking good today!' Sure, have a go at crucifying this interviewer if you've nothing better to do.

howrudeforme · 21/01/2022 18:09

Years back I got a new job in an investment bank. Not my thing and I resigned within a month - part of this was because of initiation bullying by the manager.

I spoke to her PA - she had bright red hair in a god awful crop - she pointed to her own hair saying the boss found her hair ‘dreadful’ and frizzy and during her probation and was advised to cut it off. Holy shit.

LaughingCat · 21/01/2022 18:10

You were not going for a job in a hair salon so, quite frankly, it was completely unnecessary. I would NEVER provide feedback on someone’s physical appearance in a recruitment round.

Sorry you didn’t get the job, never a nice thing, especially after four rounds. Better posts await!

ParsleySageRosemary · 21/01/2022 18:14

I’m hearing a lot about this kind of feedback. Nothing related to the work or the job and everything related to the interviewers having far too much power to pick and choose on irrelevancies. In an employers’ job market, all concepts of anti-discrimination or even professionalism are dead in the water.
I’ve heard of silly things happening to men too - not taking up the option to remove jackets, taking up the same option, or some other social trespass - so I wouldn’t necessarily call sexism just yet. It’s a joke.

Chuechebache · 21/01/2022 18:16

[quote Namirya]@Chuechebache I am only now realising the classist implications of ponytails in England (I am not from the UK originally).

As a keen sportswoman, I often wear my hair up like that. My clothes are not chavvy. Everything I wore on the day of the interview was premium quality - shoes, gloves, coat, bag, suit. Can people really be that superficial?[/quote]
Unfortunately yes.I assume,this employer is quite insecure.It is quite apparent to me,that you are not a vicky Pollard.it is their loss and another employer will happily employ you with a ponytail.

Dnaltocs · 21/01/2022 18:19

If you want a job and it’s the recruiting firm that said this, then perhaps think twice about complaining. Just think what you’d gain by complaining. I know we should all stick together but the company obviously had an issue with your hair.

ParsleySageRosemary · 21/01/2022 18:20

@ArthurDear21

Hello I’m new here! Just saw this post and may I say in this day and age that is just appalling! These things must be reported as the more people get away with this kind of ridiculousness the more they’ll do it to others. Don’t feel too bad though as who would want to work for a company who is capable of such rubbish! Smile
I think you don’t yet realise how much power has been taken away from working people. No one can afford to report it effectively, either financially or socially.
SeenoHearnoSpeakno7 · 21/01/2022 18:27

A very unprofessional comment. Put it behind you as a lucky escape.

KrystalKendal · 21/01/2022 18:29

Unless your hair was tied up in a pair of knickers (sarcasm, naturally) I'd suggest it makes absolutely no difference to your ability to perform a role.

It is a good insight into the culture of the company though and as others have said, it's a lucky escape. Sad to hear it was women however I'm not surprised, had a man have said this he would be held accountable but women feel they can judge more so.

Good luck finding a new role with a company who appreciates you and let's you be who you want to be, hair band or no hair band x

Essexgurlx · 21/01/2022 18:36

What a ridiculous comment! I think not hiring someone on the basis of appearing nervous in an important job interview is also a bit daft!! I’d say you’ve had a lucky escape. Good luck on your future interviews!

GingerWit · 21/01/2022 18:36

@Namirya

Got feedback after a fourth interview, sadly I didn't get the job. The recruiter said the company thought I was extremely well prepared, but I came across as a bit nervous. Fair enough - I know it wasn't my best performance, as I got virtually no sleep the night before (DD woke up in the middle of the night, then insomnia kicked in).

Then the recruiter said something that completely threw me off. She said the interviewer suggested I wear my hair down next time as my hairstyle was too "rigid" in combination with a formal interview suit. I had straightened my hair, and put it up in a sleek ponytail with a lovely elegant band. It was raining, my hair is long and I didn't want a frizzy mess.

The position I was interviewing for was quite senior, in a formal environment. I didn't want my hair to be a distraction. It wasn't messy, or unkempt. What was it commented on? It wouldn't be an issue for a man. I am so annoyed!

This is something I would be reporting to ACAS as sexism and discrimination
JillApple · 21/01/2022 18:38

Grin I won't.

Hang10 · 21/01/2022 18:41

What hogwash. Move past it. Many people are clueless when it comes to interviewing.
YANBU - useless, invalid feedback. X

dcthatsme · 21/01/2022 18:43

Unbelievable and actually really depressing that they think it's OK to criticise your hair. That is not a substantive reason for not offering someone a job!

Sam1111 · 21/01/2022 18:50

How awful for you that you were subjected to such criticism… I actually find that appalling that this was given as a reason… you were being professional and smart for a senior post and regardless of your hair, should not determine your ability to do the job!
If I was in that position I would complain to their HR department or someone senior than the interviewer :)

SavBbunny · 21/01/2022 18:51

OP l am annoyed you went through four interviews. It is very costly to attend interviews (clothes, grooming etc. Plus travel). If they haven't offered to cover your expenses ask, I doubt if you will be reapplying. I would say you were disappointed by personal comments next time you speak to the recruiter.
I once had a Director of HR remark on my handbag and ask if it was real? As she hadn't offered me any water I shouldn't have been surprised by the lack of manners. That company have a new MD every two years. Lucky escape for me. In my industry we wear our hair back. Take no notice you sound very chic to me!

Tzimi · 21/01/2022 18:56

That comment was completely irrelevant, your hair would have no impact on your ability to do the job! I once got told off about my suit, which I had worn to an interview! For goodness sake, you're supposed to wear a suit to an interview!

Picoloangel · 21/01/2022 18:59

Christ on a bike that’s outrageous. Can you imagine that comment to a man? Particularly given that it wasn’t an outlandish or edgy hairstyle - not that that would make it better. Lucky escape but I’d be angry and upset if I’d been on the receiving end of that “feedback.”

Spinninsweetness · 21/01/2022 19:01

Omgoodness, cannot quite believe I'm reading this! They cannot say stuff like that these days, I'd 100% complain, that's appalling!

HeyArnoldHey · 21/01/2022 19:05

Omg can you imagine what they'd be like if you worked there!

OutwiththeOutCrowd · 21/01/2022 19:06

This may just be a case of woman having a bad hair day interviews woman with perfectly groomed hair.

Owlink · 21/01/2022 19:11

One of those times you really do want to say: show them this thread!

cakermum · 21/01/2022 19:22

That’s extremely unprofessional - you’re well shot.